Cross post--What to say? The family reunion variation on the theme ...

Thanks for this.  It was so helpful and supportive.  I did practice a script, and practice being positive.  It was helpful.  Definitely deciding to be confident and positive, not angsty, was the right thing to do.  

I also did wonder if people were watching me eat.  Hard, when all the reunion chips and candy were out!  As you said, though, I was more astonished at how much people were eating.  Not so much overweight family members, as just everyone.  The teenagers are the most amazing...the food they can down in one meal, from the teen boys like my son the competitive biker, to the tiny teen girls...big appetites.

My standard responses to:

Person: "OMG, you've lost so much weight!"  - Me:  "Thank you."

Person: "OMG how did you lose so much weight so fast?"  -Me "I had weight loss surgery."

Person: "OMG what can you even eat now?" - Me "Anything, but I try to follow a protein forward diet, then veggies, then carbs."

Person: "OMG how much weight have you lost??"  Me - "A lot." (admittedly sometimes I will say 100 lbs if I know the person well)

Person: "OMG how much more do you want to lose??" Me - "I'm at my goal right now, but I'll see what my body adjusts to."

Person: "OMG you're getting so skinny, don't get anorexic!!"  -Me "Thanks, but my surgeon and I agree I'm at a healthy weight."

Keep it simple and short and move the conversation along.  I've found that many people won't say anything (especially if they have their own weight issues)...just my experience.  That's all I've got right now.  I hope you'll have fun at the reunion.  xoxo

:-). Thanks again for the scripts.  I am back now!  

Sometimes, people don't comment because they are silently processing and adjusting to the change in appearance.  Please let us know how the three days goes, ok?  (Re brothers:  mine has hardly said a thing because I think his philosophy is, "you deal with your sh-t and I'll deal with my sh-t.")

Thanks sel for being so kind. I am back now and will write a little post mortem later this evening.

Just an update, since a couple of you asked for a report!  (And also, if anyone ever is searching for a similar topic and reads this thread . . .)

So, the family reunion turned out well.  I did experience a range of responses, just as predicted by other OH members!

My one brother (The Great Wise One), and his wife, did ask about my weight directly and about my surgery in depth.  At first, this brother kept asking me if I was sick.  Not sure if he really did think I was sick, or if that was his way of getting me to talk.  He did do some of his characteristic philosophizing, but none of it seemed to be a put-down.  He just does dig a lot for detail--not detail about my experience, but detail about why I made the decision.  This was uncomfortable, but I channeled the OH advice to be open and positive, confident.  Positive, confident.  Positive, confident.

Another brother said nothing to me about my weight until the very end of the three days. I could tell he did a double-take when he first saw me, but he did not say anything--I think because of politeness.  After the several days, when we were saying goodbye, he hugged me and said, "You look good.  You are working hard.  Keep it up."  He never asked about the surgery, so I never told him about it--and there was never a good time.  So I now think I will follow up with an email to him.  Since everyone else now knows,  he might feel hurt if left in the dark.  (Possibly he knows too--just not from me.)

My third brother, who already knew about the surgery, wanted to ask what it was like--how my diet differed on a daily basis, etc.  His wife was also interested.  Although they did not say so, I think they are considering this surgery for him.  This was very comfortable and matter-of-fact.

My two sisters did know about the surgery already.  They just said a few things, like "cute shirt!" 

My dad just gave me a hug and said, "You look so good."

My mom always wants to know a number of pounds.  Always.  But she is my mom, and a lovely person, and 83 years old.  So every time she asks me, I say, "Well, Mom, I don't like to give numbers, and I don't tell anyone else.  But I will tell YOU."  And then I whisper the number to her, and she smiles and pats my hand.

I did wear some really fitting clothes!  I flaunted things, like Grim suggested.  Felt a little uncomfortable in those tight clothes.  But two of my nieces were so kind to me.  One of them (age 19) said, "Aunt [Pokemom], you are so pretty!  I was really noticing that!  I was also looking at all the old photos and saw your wedding pictures, and you have always been so pretty."

So, overall, very positive.  A range of responses.  And now the Big Awkward is over, and it is all about going forward!

Thanks again to everyone for their positive support and kindness!