I think the whole point is it's an ongoing process and that is where the miscommunication happens.  My surgeons goal is 70% excess weight lost, so in their eyes I'm done (passed done).  I can ease up, find a new normal, have a little regain and go on with life (check in with us every year).  

I don't feel done by a mile.  I still feel like I have a lot of work to do to reach my goal and find my healthy window.  If I were at my goal, yesterdays experience would have been completely different.

(One year.  Sometimes I still can't believe it.  Wow.)

My one year is next month so I get it. I know there is never really an end of the road, but there is something significant about one year...

 While losing I become rather obsesive about my weight, scales, foods, etc. 

Vigilant is good..obsesive...not so much.  My team noticed that I was getting too obsesive and pointed that to me.  Initially. Like you - I felt bad about their comments, but overall, after thinking about it, I realised that I was getting too obsessed...do I slowly change some of my ways, and found a balance... 

Good luck.

Awwww, that kindof sucks. 

Keep working towards your goal, and show them that you can be healthy and happy at your goal weight. :) 160 at 5'8 doesn't sound unreasonable, it would make your BMI 24.3 and that's in the "normal range" unless you have a massive amount of muscle? 

Im 5'4, and my 0% body fat is what most people my size have as a normal weight. Maybe that's what they think you have. 

Hey Nina, I totally feel your frustration! When I went to my 9 months apt with my Dr he told me that he thought the "lowest" I could get/go was 220 (at the time I was 240, I'm 5'10).  I left devastated...but I came on here, got a ton of support and have kept plugging away.  I'm now at 186, I want to get to 175 (or possibly lower we'll see when I get there).  Don't get me wrong, around 215 the weight loss really slowed down a ton, and so what I've decided is my Dr. was speaking in terms of the early initial weight loss not what I could actually lose.  I haven't seen him since and only go to my primary now, but some of that is b/c I left the last apt feeling so defeated.  

My point is, god bless our surgeons/NUTs/support staff who helped us with these tools and the early phases...HOWEVER, I think they see such a range of people in their offices, that they kind of try and temper expectations and go based on averages, not on what is necessarily acheivable by any one patient.  I think you should listen to what they've said, take what's useful and disregard what wasn't and then keep on keeping on, lol.  You'll get to goal and your new "normal" isn't going to be what other peoples normal is.  None of my naturally thin friends use MFP, ALL of my WLS patient friends who are successful long term, do.  Our new "normal" is what it is and building those habits/routines, in my opinion, is crucial for long term success.

Hang in there and great job 1 year out!

Thank you, I really appreciate you sharing that.  I'm sorry to hear that you had to go through something similar, but congratulations on keeping at it.  I plan on doing the same.

*cheers* To future goals!

My surgeons office is basically the same. THey always had me measuring volumes and not flipping out over calories/carbs/protein so much.

They even told me that wine is a treat, enjoy it before the meal, then eat my meal.

ON one hand, I like their approach (why make life harder and more crazy than it HAS to be). ON the other hand, no****ching my carbs and continously grazing on carby things was several of the things that got me to MO.

I am not going back there.

So, to ensure that i dont head back, I need to be viligent. Not hyperviligent, but I do got to look at the "radar" to ensure that the skies are clear and keep them that way.

I love love my friends and family.  But I want to have the normal BMI also!  I think most everyone around us sees all of our progress and thinks wow! and I keep hearing you shouldn't lose any more.  And don't get me wrong, im happy with the progress, but I am soooo not ready to quit yet.  I think after a time, you just have to say thank you and yes, i'm about done, and then just keep doing what you are doing to get to your goal!!.  When it comes down to it you're really only doing the last part just for you anyways. 

Only here do people really understand!  Yeah OH!!

I was just thinking about this earlier.  I am so lucky to have  a loving supportive group of knowledgeable people around me, but no one else has had this experience and they don't really understand. Thank you OH, and specifically thank you everyone for all of the words of encouragement.  This community really is another tool in the tool belt.

I want to have a normal BMI, too!  I see the writing on the walls, I know the weight loss is slowing down, and I know the last 27% to goal are going to be a challenge, but I know I can do it. 

*edit for bad math

I'm with what a few other folks have said above, having had to drastically change our life style and way of thinking about food after surgery is our new normal, I'm sorry you got a mixed message from them because it seems you're doing great doing what you're doing, keep it up.  Our new normal is taking care of ourselves and sticking to what works best for us so that we don't fall into the "okay I can be normal now and splurge here and there regain trap."  Don't obsess about what your doing but stay healthy and positive, eat as clean as you can high protein low carb and exercise for how great it makes you feel when your done.  I think if it's working for you then that's your new normal.  We had to have surgery to get us started losing weight and follow a plan that was given to us, we are not normal regular metabolism people anyway so if it isn't broke don't fix or change it.