Adolescent wls

I really don't see any responses that I would consider to be rude.  People come here for information and support.  We all want to succeed, and we all want others to succeed.  To me, the responses you got were all well-intended; people sharing their experiences and information, and asking questions to be more informed.

    It's weird, ppl who post on here seem like the person w the question hasn't the slightest clue about morality or how wls

    works... we are all authorities in our own right. Unless we've wasted our tool and gained the weight back.

It's unfortunate, but many people have wasted their tool and gained the weight back.  I don't think anyone here wishes that on anybody else.  And you'd be amazed by the number of people who haven't the slightest clue about how WLS works - you'll see people posting about having pizza and/or alcohol within two weeks of surgery, or champagne and cake because they're going to a wedding, etc.  Some people just don't get it.

Anyway, I hope your daughter is a good, informed candidate for WLS.   I can see that you, as her mother, are naturally concerned and want what is best for her, and that you will be there to support her through the long road toward getting the surgery, and the changes she will go through after the surgery.  She is lucky to have a wonderful, caring mother, who wants the best for her.

Good luck to you and your daughter.

Mary

Thank you, Mary, I very much appreciate your kind words. I am a substance abuse counselor and have had, probably, 15 patients in my 15 years of counseling that have had the surgeries and are now addicted to alcohol or painkillers. It's sick and sad, as they paid no mind to what they were educated on. Thanks again!

I took offense immediately when someone said it was my decision and not hers, and there was a lot of assuming going on. I didn't post to start drama, I posted for support. More of you posted commenting on defending what you said rather than on the post itself. Please excuse me for starting the drama. That is what this has become and I'm out. I found the answers I needed on my own. Thank you for putting in your input, it is appreciated. But the inference that I would make my daughter get the surgery is asinine and very presumptive. I apologize for not putting my life story on my original post. My old profile was deactivated, I've been a member since 4 or 5 years before I actually got my surgery. She just started an account yesterday to get support! Like I said before, I was bullied my entire childhood until I became anorexic and I don't want that for her. She's a junior in high school, very bright and I'm sick of seeing her hurt. She has been with me every single step of my journey, even staying at the hospital and going with me to the ER when I thought I was dying! Lol she's my only child, my everything, and I only want happiness for her that she deserves.

I'm not sure what's so heinously offensive about that suggestion. It's possible that as her guardian and responsible party in the insurance department, you DO have a legal say in her treatment. (No doubt that confidentiality and consent are tricky for adolescents, but it IS a potential issue.)

Congrats on finding answers on your own, and good luck to the both of you.

I think ANY other mother of a 16 year old would take offense to the idea that they were pushing their daughter into something so extremely major. And heinous is a strong wording...I was simply offended. I'm not any longer now that other ppl have shown loving concern. Thank you for the well wishes.

Relax. You are not being judged or criticized.  You have an emotional investment in this and you are second guessing yourself. This is ultimately her decision and she is old enough to know her body. (For a VSG only)

Reading back, if it was me, I had NO intention of being offensive. One sentence of my reply said, "And as others have said, any decision for surgery must be HER decision - not yours, as much as you are at your wits end. This changes her life. Forever."

You've given much more context now. We had no idea that you were experienced with WLS, that there was a recommendation from the PCP already, what the degree of her issue is, how she felt about it, that it was allowable where you live, etc. 

But if my comment was in any way out of line, I do apologize. 

I don't think it was you. However, it was 2:30 am when I posted bc I couldn't sleep. My old profile was deactivated...blah blah blah, anyway, I did not provide the info because it just slipped my mind I guess. Like I said, I did not mean to create drama, others seemed mad that I would okay such a procedure being ignorant of everything I've put throughout this post. I apologize for being so sensitive. This is my only baby, I just had a hysterectomy and always wanted more children. I just got married in November, both of us intending to try for another baby; finding out we couldn't was a severe blow. So! I'm going to be sensitive, she's always been my everything!

Can I ask you what her stats are? Height and weight?

She's 5'4", 285