I have been off here for awhile but I need to vent and really need some advice. I was not cleared for surgery because the psychologist said I need to do therapy first. Ok fine I have committed to it and slowly working through issues. But what the heck like how much therapy do I have to go through before they will ok me??? Im like is it going to happen before the insurance year restarts?  A lot of my stress and depression and coping methods is because of my weight. Prebaby when I had the physical motivation to do stuff and go places that was how I released stress. Now I am stuck in this huge uncomfortable body, no matter how hard I try I gain 3 pounds for every 1 I lose. They say my stress is too high so it is making the weight come off slower. My stress is so high because they are preventing me from doing this. I just dont get it like its my body, my problem, and I am paying for it so why cant I have the surgery?! It is so frustrating and tiring. Relationships in my life are starting to suffer. I am all for going through therapy and continuing as I am well aware of new problems that could arise mentally after surgery, so if I make that commitment then why wont they let me do it. I have put so much money into this and now it really feels like a waste. Like someone less fortunate could have used that money instead I paid a few hundred bucks and I am still fat, sad, and in pain all the time. Oh and lets not forget that $40 copay EVERY WEEK for therapy. Happy Freaking birthday to me, I wont even be eating cake. Any advice from the pros or someone in my position please please help!

It's my understanding that the psychiatric part of the pre-surgery screening is to be sure you are "head healthy" and ready for the surgery and the lifestyle change.   I do know some folks who were not ready psychologically and they failed at their surgery.  So this could be why they have not approved you.  So sorry; I can only imagine how upsetting it is.  Keep plugging and hopefully you will get approved.

JA

I am so sorry that you are going through this. My first time around the WLS block, I was told by the psychologist that he wouldn't approve me for surgery because I had too many issues as well and there was too much stress in my life.  I was crushed.  It took me a handful of years to finally be ready to go down the WLS path again. I started the process in February and had my surgery by May.  It was definitely worth the wait for me. My family is in a better place to support me and I am emotionally ready to take on the challenges that come with the surgery. 

They want to make sure you are going to follow the program and have other healthy outlets for stress already in place before the surgery. When you can't turn to food for comfort, what are you going to turn to? My doctor told me she has patients after surgery that turn to alcohol, gambling, or other unhealthy addictions. They just want to make sure you will be equipped to handle life after WLS. 

Hang in there and go to your appointments. You are worth the $40 copay every week. You are deserving of the time and money spent on getting you well.  When you get cleared for surgery and lose whatever amount of weight it is that you need to lose, you'll be able to go out and help more people than ever before. Because you'll have confidence, energy, and a lot more money (because you will be eating so little, you'll have money to spare).  :)  

Keep us posted on your journey. 

I can argue it both ways. Being in a "good place" and having "healthy outlets" is important. However, the poster has indicated that it is mostly her weight that is causing the stress and problems.

I dont know what the mental health professionals told her, but I think it would be FAIR of her to ask 'what indicia/criteria do I have to meet to be considered eligible for the surgery?  What sort of "homework" can you give me to help me "fix" my stress and problems and move me closely to the surgery?"

From her post, it sounds like they declared her unfit for surgery, told her it was becasue she had too much stress, and now she is stuck in some kind of infinite talk therapy.  

THAT would **** me off and stress me out too. It is not fair to her to NOT know exactly WHAT Is wrong and for them NOT to give her the tools for success. If they are giving her the tools,but have not indicated what they are or "where they are on the road map to mental health" they are doing her a disservice.

For any physical or mental journey, it is not uncommon to ask "Are we there yet?"  That is what she is literally doing. She knows where she wants to go, but it sounds like her mental health professional just packed her up in the car and is "driving her around" without even letting her know even the general direction to go.

Thinking therapy "is a waste" might be part of the problem as to why they won't give you the surgery. 

Did you ask them "how much therapy" they wanted you to have before they will approve you? Occasionally, it is a somewhat arbitrary timeframe (6 months is common), but usually they are looking for a specific outcome or a certain amount of improvement in a specific area (and the timeframe is irrelevant... it could take two months or ten months). They should let you know what the situation is, so if they have not done so, definitely ask them.

Yes, it is your body and your problem, but unless you are paying cash, you have to follow the rules of your insurance company and/or your surgeon.  If you are self-pay and truly believe that therapy is a waste of time and you can be successful on your own, then why not find another surgeon (who uses a different psychologist)?

Suicide rates are higher in people who have has WLS than in the general population (for a variety of reasons), and many people who don't address their emotional/psychological issues end up gaining a significant amount of their weight back (which means they had major surgery, and altered their digestive system, for no reason) so it is important to any ethical and caring surgeon that their patients are psychologically ready for surgery. 

As a psychologist, I can tell you that if your relationships are suffering, it is probably not just the result of your stress being too high because they are making you wait to have WLS.  People commonly attribute their stress/depression/problems to their weight, and then when the weight comes off they realize that they are still stressed or depressed and still have many of the same problems.  All losing weight does is eliminate the weight-related components of those things, and it often turns out that the core problem isn't the weight after all. Often it is the other way around: the weight is the result of the stress/depression and/or problems.

Ask the psychologist/counselor what they are looking for in order to clear you for surgery, and then utilize the counseling time as best you can.  Sometimes, what they are looking for may just be an honest acknowledgment and acceptance that the weight is a secondary issue rather than the primary one or evidence that you are putting into practice coping skills that aren't food related.

I understand how hard it is to have to wait for something that you want so much (BTDT), but having to wait 6 months to have surgery and then being successful at losing and maintaining the weight is far preferable to having WLS, which is a last resort, before you are ready and then feeling like a failure because you don't lose the weight you want/need to lose or you end up gaining much of it back.  The sense of hopelessness is intense for those who end up having to walk the second path.

Lora

This Answer!  This one!  LOVE

fantastic reply Lora.  Couldn't have said it better myself.

My weight definitely kept me from doing many things. Medical issues were no fun either. Having the surgery did fix many of those problems. No longer diabetic and blood pressure is good. No more Cpap. But it isn't a magical fix for really changing my existence. I still encounter daily problems. Stress is still there. Weight loss is not going to fix those. If you have issues to work on concentrate on those for now. Make sure you are in a good place so you can get the surgery and be successful. I realize it is hard to have to wait now but it is giving you the time to really be ready. And just having the surgery is no guarantee of successful weight loss. It is still hard work. Even now I am at goal it is a daily challenge to do all the right things so the scale doesn't slip back up. Work with your therapist not resistant to his/her counseling. You will be in a better head place to devote yourself to the work you have to do after your surgery. Hang in there and it will happen.

I understand.  I wanted to have revision surgery since 4/13 and it has been a long process.  I was denied twice before I was finally approved.  I was going to a eating disorder therapist which cost $125 per session.  After 1 1/2 years I stopped because I couldn't afford it.  They wanted to see that I was motivated and they wanted to see weight loss.  I struggled with motivation because I kept getting denied and I kept losing and gaining the same 10 pounds.  I jumped through all the hoops and  I got the call on Good Friday that I was approved.  My surgery date was 5/18 and I am on this journey.  One thing I realize is now that I don't have food to comfort me alot more feelings are popping up.  I am journaling and seeing a cheaper therapist to help work out these issues.   I have alot of stuffed anger toward my husband and having a therapist and supportive friends is a God-send.  When I had to lapband I didn't got o therapy but I gained back all the weight I lost.  After having RNY I want to do things differently and healthier.  Hang int here.  It is worth it.