What do you say when people ask how you've lost weight?

lmnmbh
on 5/29/15 9:26 pm

My problem with telling people I had weight loss surgery is that I feel they think "oh, you took the easy way out".  I don't think it is the easy way out and believe that anyway you lose weight it is difficult to lose and even more difficult to keep off.  So if it's someone I feel I can share the fact that I had surgery, I follow up with .... "losing weight is never easy, no matter how you do it..... weight loss surgery is just another way to lose weight"

 

Han Shot First
on 5/30/15 5:45 am - Flint, MI
RNY on 10/06/14

I feel the same way you do.  I was in my regular gas station a couple of months ago, and one of the cashiers recognized me as a regular.  After she was gushing about how I look, I got the inevitable question.  I responded, "Oh, you know, diet and exercise" and left feeling like I just robbed the cookie jar.  I can't believe how guilty it made me feel.  Even now, when I think about it, I want to go back, find her, and tell her "I actually got surgery."

While I didn't lie, I didn't tell the whole truth.  And while I don't owe an explanation to anyone, I'm just not comfortable omitting the surgery part of the explanation.

Now, if it's someone that I don't know very well, I say, "I had surgery, and now I follow a healthy diet and go to the gym 5 days a week."

I was worried about people thinking it was the easy way out, but now, I just don't care.  Out of all the people who know I had surgery, only one d-bag ever made the "easy way" comment.  If anyone thinks this was the easy way, they're ignorant, and I know better.  Anyone who is at least a casual acquaintance knows how hard I've worked.  Anyone beyond that circle and their thinking is really irrelevant to me.

--

150 lost and maintaining!

caliannie
on 5/30/15 11:52 am - CA
RNY on 04/14/15

I struggled with this before surgery and chose only to tell my parents. Why is it ok to question someone about their weight gain or loss but we don't ask other personal questions? No one asks how I keep my blood sugar in check, how is my cholesterol, or if my marriage is in trouble because my husband works late, travels a lot or fishes 3 nights a week. We just celebrated 26 years on the 27th and looking forward to the next 26. But it is ok to ask why aren't you fat anymore? That is basically what they are asking. You are not lying when you say you are eating less, cut out simple carbs and exercising. Why must we go into further detail? No one cared to ask when I lost and regained on the dozens of diets and thousand of diet pills over the years. Those were tools too. You will know when, if, and with whom you want to share more information with, don't feel pressured to do so. I said before I don't want to hear the uninformed, unsolicited and unwelcome stories or opinions on WLS. We all know this is not the easy way. Learning new habits and my new body is one of the hardest things I've ever done and I'm only 6 weeks in. Right now I just smile say thank you and move on to something else.

Carpe Diem!

Height: 5'5"  HW: 237 SW: 237 CW:138 GW: 134   M1: -31  M2: -14  M3:-12  M4: -10  M5: -10  M6: -5 M7: -4 M8: -5 M9: -5 M10: -2 M11: M12: -1

 

 

    

Navychic
on 5/30/15 9:06 am
RNY on 02/09/15

I finally got comfortable with telling folks and then I learned not everyone who asks really wants to know.  One guy I work with said, wow you look great, what are you doing, so I told him and he then looked horrified that id given him so much personal info.  We're more acquaintances than close...  Lol, you really have to judge your audience...

I'm Jo   HW 245, SW 236, CW 151 Yeah (Normal BMI!!!!)

M1=213 (-23), M2=201 (-12), M3=186 (-15), M4=175(-11), M5=166(-9), M6=157(-9), M7=153(-4) 

        

    

Nikke2003
on 5/31/15 10:06 am - PA
VSG on 05/13/13

In most situations, I just say to someone "Oh, I don't eat anything that tastes good" and laugh it off. Usually does the trick for people that are just kind of nosy and not genuinely interested. Though I have been fairly private about it, I have told people that seemed genuinely interested. I will say that the idea of people knowing I've had surgery is not as big of a deal as it once was, now that I'm 2 years out. However, I still don't think I will be one of those people (that I actually consider to be very brave) that announce it to the world on FB or something.

A couple of things I always promised myself was 1) I would never say no if someone directly asked me if I had surgery and 2) I would never tell someone that could potentially qualify for surgery that I used diet and exercise alone. 

It's interesting... lots of people have asked my mother-in-law if I have had surgery and she found the best way to answer is "You'd have to ask her, that's' not my business" and of course, nobody ever does. I have had people assume I have had surgery just because of the drastic loss and I have had people assume I have had NOT had surgery simply because I didn't announce it without being asked. It's all very interesting.

One thing I do know is that if someone wants to think I'm a liar or a bad person for not sharing personal information or laying out my whole medical history than so be it! There are a lot worse things I could be than a liar about something like this lol!

For more info on my journey & goals, visit my blog at http://flirtybythirty.wordpress.com

  

aesposito
on 6/1/15 4:00 pm

My answer each time: "surgery, diet and exercise".  Without all three I would not have lost, and kept off, 180 pounds.

Audrey

Highest weight: 340
Surgery weight: 313
Surgery date: 10/24/11
Current weight 170... 170 pounds lost!!!!

I am not a doctor, but I play one at work.

Chilipepper
on 6/1/15 4:05 pm

I tell everyone!  I have nothing to hide. 

 

"The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue." --- Dorothy Parker  

"You may not like what I say or how I say it, but it may be just exactly what you need to hear." ---Kathryn White

 

 

caliannie
on 6/2/15 1:58 pm - CA
RNY on 04/14/15

I think Navychic is right. Most people don't want all the info they're just being nosey. You'll know whom to tell and how much. 

Carpe Diem!

Height: 5'5"  HW: 237 SW: 237 CW:138 GW: 134   M1: -31  M2: -14  M3:-12  M4: -10  M5: -10  M6: -5 M7: -4 M8: -5 M9: -5 M10: -2 M11: M12: -1

 

 

    

TexasLady52
on 6/4/15 1:04 pm
Revision on 06/10/14

I tell everyone by portion control.......which is the truth.....our portions are a lot smaller.  I didn't tell my sister either....she has quizzed me several times.....I just ask her where does she think I would get the money to pay for it.....My insurance has a $13,000 one time cap on it.....I would have to come up with a lot of money to pay the difference!!!

robinreinhardt
on 6/4/15 2:11 pm

Corrie,

Do what feels right for you. You don't have to tell everyone if you don't want to. Congratulations on your loss of weight. You are rocking it.

Robin

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