very discouraged and don't know that to do

Stop talking dirty to me...

My Decision to Have WLS:

I did not come blindly to my decision to have WLS. I looked into it for many years, and very seriously for a year prior to having RNY. 

I am very independent. I did not wait for others to hold my hand. I got all the resources I felt I would need when making a major decision. I made my choices with solid understanding under my belt. I developed a mental plan of direction and wrote down my course of action. 

I prepared myself for the challenge ahead knowing I may run into some roadblocks along the way. I created a way out to overcome whatever obstacles I may encounter. If I found I needed more resources, or I needed to gain more knowledge, I actively sought it. 

I do not make excuses. I know what I want and where I am going. I do not cry over a mis-step. I do not get others to join me in a pity party. 

I remain positive, purposeful and upbeat. I hold myself to a higher standard. I do not care about what everyone else is doing. I have come to know myself and have addressed those secret places in my life we all tend to avoid. 

I have always had a clear goal and plan and I have never swayed from it. I am very strict and strong-willed. My personality, tolerance, life experience and stamina are all part of the equation. 

I know myself and my limitations. When I began this journey, I felt I was fully prepared mentally for any challenge I would come across. I put in a lot of time doing research, and I continue to educate myself as time goes on. 

Now that I am in maintenance, I eat every 2-3 hours. I eat 3 main meals and 4-5 snacks daily that include protein. I eat 1650-2000 calories a day.

I am a Lacto-Ovo Vegetarian. I eat at least 100 grams of protein a day. I eat simple carbohydrate dairy products that are no fat or low fat. I eat eggs. I eat complex carbohydrate beans. I also eat simple carbohydrate fruit and complex carbohydrate vegetables and whole grains. I do not count daily carb grams. All carbs are not created equal. I definitely refrain from eating refined carbs. 

I drink at least 64 ounces of liquids daily. I take all my vitamins, supplements and calcium. 

I had not participated in a formal exercise program due to Rheumatoid Arthritis and Osteoarthritis until recently. I had knee replacement surgery for both of my knees in 2014. I now do a minimal exercise routine on a daily basis. I also do a lot of walking and I am also getting back into hiking as time and weather permits. 

I have been able to maintain my 199 pound weight loss since November 2011. I have never introduced a food into my mouth that I have not planned to eat. I always consider the protein and nutritional value of each morsel. 

I know this rigid, controlled way of life is not for everyone, but it works great for me!

well i guess i was on trac****il witnessing my mother dying may have contributed to the slide in motivation and a slight lost of control!