surgery Tuesday...it's funny who doesn't support you
After a very long process it finally is coming to a new beginning Tuesday. I have to say I have had a few fabulous new friends that have been awesome. But it is the lack of support from those you care about the most that are the eye openers. I have been told I am taking the easy way out. They have no idea how hard it is....but I leave them in their ignorance. I have listened and shut down so much passive aggressive negativity. And dealt with so much selfishness from others and how even my recovery becomes about them. It is funny after you look back at it alll...the journey to here and see what in part I have created in relationships and the person I am changing into...it is with a bit of sadness that I have to let some people go. Empowerment comes with taking over your health and it's a difficult journey coming to these realizations sometimes. Just needed to vent...here's to happy new beginnings with less judgement and negativity in my life.
Don't even take the time to reply to nay-sayers. You will not change their mind. There is a deep rooted fear that they cannot solve the issues they face, so they lash out at those solving the issues that they face. (keep in mind, this is different from ill-informed family and friends that have only heard horror stories but support you 100%) My canned answers are as follows:
"You are taking the easy way out." --Thank God I can get that easy way! It would be dumb to do something harder if there was an easier way!
"You are so vain" --I am now, but just for this. I have let myself go for so long, its time for me to focus on me for a bit. Those that I usually care for are good for a bit while I recover from years of neglect.
"Its so dangerous! You could die!" --Oh that's a definite! I will die, someday. This just will make sure that I have a better chance of more days until that time comes.
"You don't have time for a large medical procedure." --Actually, downtime is no worse than recovery from the flu, at least this I can plan. And just think of all that time I will be saving by not constantly eating!
"Why don't you just try dieting?" --Oh, my God! Why didn't I think of that?!
"Rerouting your insides is unnatural." --Sure is! Isn't it amazing what modern technology and medicine can do?
Shut them down, quickly, and then walk away and drink a glass of water. By the time you are done with the water you will be giggling to yourself about how speechless they were. And then really sock it to em. When you see what they are REALLY struggling with in their lives that they are having a hard time facing, help them. Be as respectful and supportive as possible. Because they are coming at you from a place of pain and fear (most of the time).
LapBand Weight 460 (2006) | Panni Removal Weight 200 (2008) | 3rd kid (2009)
Revision to RNY Weight 355 (June 2015)
my husband told me that I put the weight on like a big girl I should loose the weight like a big girl. Needless to say I understand the lack of support from those who should support you unconditionally. Like you I have found a group of new friends who are so dedicated in taking the time to make sure I have my head on right. You are right they do not know how hard this is, to struggle with weight is an emotional rollercoaster on its own even if you are eating right and slowly loosing. You are starting a new journey in life and they are probably jealous that you have the guts to make such a change in life. You are going to be alright. This isn't the easy way out either this is just a helping aid. I hope that your surgery goes fantastic and best wishes to you on your new journey. I am just waiting for my surgery date and I hope that you will be there to give me a little guidance when I go in.
