Help with nerves please

So im not really one to reach out for emotional help but I just feel like I must. I apologize for this rant ahead of time but here goes. I feel redundant asking this again because Ive asked it before and most of you have been so kind to help me. Question, am I to much of a light weight for surgery?? I mean to have RNY is huge. I am 5'2" 58'yrs old and on my 1 week pre op diet now. Surgery is scheduled for this coming Wednesday and I am scared, really scared I am making a mistake that will affect the rest of my natural born life. But I am also afraid of the consequences of not proceeding with the surgery. Here are my concerns.

1. I will be in the mid 180 lb range in weight at time of surgery which means i will have only 60 lbs to lose. Yes, ive yoyo'd most of my life but at 180 lbs my BMI is in the "over weight" range. Is this really necessary?

2. I was diagnosed with diabeties which is what made me decide to do this. I cannot have a sleeve (which Was my preferred choice) because of reflux. But the issue is, I was diagnosed when on a huge dosage of prednisone for bronchitus and was drinking tons of OJ in January of this year. Combo of steroids and sugar I think put me over the edge. As side note, I have been pre diabetic for the past 3 years. So, do I really have Diabeties or was it steroid induced. A1C at that time was 8.6, four months later it is now 5.4 and I take Metformin. Can I control this (if it truly is Diabeties) with diet? Right now on my pre op my blood sugar last eve was 67 and thats a concern in itself. My surgeon at the time of my preliminary appoint months ago stated I should more concerned with having Diabetie than having this surgery. It made sense to me then. Ive talked To a dietician at the Joselin Center about my concerns if I truly have diabeties and was told that my A1C would never have been that high and my blood sugar count the day I was diagnosed was 300. She stated that at a person without diabeties would never have a blood glucose that high because those that do NOT have diabeties their bodies would know what to do with that sugar and it would Stay in the normal range. She said "I could eat a piece of cake had have a normal glucose reading, yours would spike." Is this true?

3 My last concern is this. Ive have been reading these forums for over six months and have learned so much but something was said that really made me pause and I would like anyone who is knowledgeable about regain to help me with this. I asked a question concerning our stomaches and what happens to them after surgery. Many answered, but one answer stuck with me. I was told that our pouch can be stretched if we do not follow the plan for a lifetime. I was told that when this happens the restrictive valve at the end of our pouch which is connected to our colon can be stretched along with the colon. Words to the effect of "one big stretched out colon" and was told for the rest of our lives we will be hungry with no end to it. Is this true??

I know the decision is mine to make but I have some thoughts that perhaps are not correct and I would so much appreciate any insight to my questions, any comfort to my fears and maybe just a little reassurance Im doing the right thing. Again, I apologize for this long post but I did not know where else to turn. Thank you.

I was 198 and 4'11 and diabetic for less than a year when I had the surgery.  I was at a bmi of 39.  I attempted to lose the weight but it went nowhere.  As long as ur bmi is in the range its supposed to be it is ok to have the surgery.  The reason I had the surgery was to get rid of my diabetes.  It did just that. I was off all medication the second day in the hospital.  This too could be you.  

Thank you, I hope so

The decision has to be yours.  If you are not 100% committed to changing your relationship with food, then don't have the surgery yet.  If you are on board with following the rules (and, yes, that means for life if you want to maintain your weight loss)  then go ahead with the surgery.

The pouch is SUPPOSED to grow to about the size  of a 12-ounce soda can.  If it didn't, you would starve to death.  The problem comes when people consistently over stuff their pouch.  What happens is the stoma (the connection your surgeon makes between your pouch and small intestines) can stretch to be the same size as the pouch.  When this happens the pouch, stoma, and intestines are all the same size and food flows freely into the small intestines causing you to never feel full and always feel hungry.  This is not the norm.  If you eat small meals and don't drink with your meals (which forces food through the stoma and can also stretch it out)  you will never have this problem.  It takes a lot of repeated abuse to stretch your stoma.  It's not a common problem.  Regain is usually the result of letting simple carbs like bread, pasta, sugar, etc., back into your life and no****ching your portion sizes.  The colon is actually not involved at all with this problem  The colon is your large intestine, not your small intestines.

I will tell you that having RNY was the best decision I have ever made.  I have lost and gained back over a thousand pounds in my lifetime. Losing weight was never the problem.  Keeping it off was.  It sounds like you have a few co-morbidities to consider.  It also sounds like you are allowing fear of the unknown to get the better of you.  Your doctors are telling you that your diabetes is the worst problem you have and RNY can send your diabetes into remission.  Why are you questioning your doctors, who obviously know more than you do?  They know you were prescribed the steroids and have taken all that into consideration when consulting with you.   I guess I would trust my doctor and dietician.

Living the WLS lifestyle takes work and commitment, but it is totally doable.  Once you get into your new routine it really isn't that bad.  The hardest part is the mental work.  A good therapist on your weight loss team will be invaluable.  A therapist can help you figure out why you overeat and how to combat your own demons where food is concerned.  

Good luck with your decision!

Thank you Rocky for the advice.  I guess I just needed to hear some common sense.  I know I am letting my fears take over which is why I reached out.  I am very dedicated to this journey once its done.  Im an all in or all out person so once the surgery is done Im all in.  

You can do this!  It sounds like you are doing the research and asking the right questions.  Don't underestimate yourself.  You are worth the work and commitment it takes to get healthy.  We'll all be here to help you when you need it after surgery.  We are a big community and are more than willing to give our best advice or kick you in the a** when you need it. 

Thanks again!!  And please wait on the ass kicking which im sure I will need for a few weeks after surgery!

I do not have diabetes and was also in the low end for bmi (just making the 40 cut off).  I battered myself pre-op bc I just kept thinking maybe I should try on my own one more time.  I am still very newly post op (11 days) but I am already so glad I pushed my fears to the curb and pushed forward.  The work is not easy and you will be miserable if you are not committed to changing your eating but from where I sit right now I am very glad I took the chance and dove in.

I am very committed to the changes i will have to make.  I Have been seeing a Bariatric Psychologist who is helping me thru this process.  I have head games going on big time and just needed reassurance.

I had this surgery 2 days before my 56th birthday... It doesn't get any easier as we get older. I agree with your Doctor, I would be more afraid of the diabetes than the surgery. I was nervous I was doing the right thing and I had a 53 BMI... it is surgery, it is nerve-racking... that being said, I am so glad I had it. I am in a place I never imagined. It is work... I still need to watch what I eat and exercise, but at least something is happening..... Take a deep breath. Good Luck.