Anyone else have friends distance themselves?

AWWW that is so sweet.  That's a good point too!  Thanks

My BFF had WLS first - and she drove me crazy. I was sick and tired of hearing about her 2 tablespoons of food and how her clothes were falling off of her - especially while mine were bursting at the seams.  

It taught me pretty quickly that I needed to only discuss it when asked. I am very open about it, but being on the receiving end of her experience made me hang out here and in support groups on FB when I need to talk or vent about things.

That being said - regardless -  I would have been CRUSHED about the beach trip! I would also confront them and get it out in the open. I would rather know than fume and speculate. 

I have also lost my best obese friend because we can't shop and eat together any longer. 

Sorry hugs.

Thanks!

My bff of 30+ years has not given me one compliment or "atta girl" since my surgery. Early on she'd ask how much I'd lost, but I felt like she was trying to make me feel bad for not having lost more- by making me say "15 or 20"  rather than 75!  She's always had a weight problem, but not MO by any means. She tormented her husband about how she didn't marry a guy so he could weigh 300 lbs, til he got a sleeve. Of course, being a man, his weight FELL OFF!!  Now, she's the biggest one!  She went and had a breast reduction and liposuction. Her boobs look good, but even the doctor told her she'd gain it all back in menopause if she isn't really careful. I always tell her how good her boobs look, because they do!!  Why can't she cowgirl-up and do the same for me??  It's crazy. About 2 months after my surgery, she called me telling me how good some horribly fattening food was and asked how we had missed that- as if to encourage me to eat that sh*t!  Crazy!!  

Im grateful we can still hang out and have fun, but on rare occasions when I'm "needy", a compliment would be awesome! What-ev!!  My journey. I got this and so do you!!  Sorry you're in pain. I'm here if I can help!!

Thank you!  I'll be fine.  I'm glad I posted because it gave me many new ideas that didn't hurt as much as what my crazy brain was thinking.

I am 7 years post op. 

The way i eat now ~what and how much, makes some people very aware of how much and what they eat. And drink.  It makes them uncomfortable... Seeing how much some of them eat and drink, makes me uncomfortable.

Time to find new, skinny friends.   

That is definitely hurtful. Before I made new friends though I would want to ask why I wasn't invited. If they are truly friends there should be some room for conversation.  They may have assumed it was still too tempting. I always think their is a tactful way to get the message across...

I am sorry.  I can see why you feel so hurt.

Last year, almost a year before my surgery, my two sisters and I were planning to go on a vacation together.  We were trying to find a time when the one could get time off from her job.  Then it just seemed like it was not going to happen.  And then a couple of months later, my parents mentioned that my two sisters were going on a trip together. Wasn't that wonderful, they asked.  (My parents are very sweet and find happiness in enjoying other people's happiness.) But it was very hurtful to me.  It was also hurtful to me that my sisters did not tell me about the trip--it was obvious they were keeping it from me.

I later learned that they went together to a fancy spa/weight loss resort.  Both struggle with weight, though not as heavy as I was.  I see why they did not feel comfortable discussing it with me, because they knew i was working toward WLS, but it still hurt.  I sense that, especially for one sister, it is not good for me to discuss my surgery with her unless she asks.  Going forward, we have lots of positive shared experiences and conversations, like we did before.  I focus on those.