Started class at Y tonight - did not go well :(

I'm a hot mess since the class Monday. After thinking about it long and hard I just don't think I can go back because I really really can't keep up. It wasn't a little bit, it was a lot. 

Monday morning I was really happy because that is the day I weigh myself and I lost 7 pounds - I've been losing really slowly - 2 or 3 pounds a week. I've been really bummed about how little I'm losing because I have so much to lose and I feel like I'm never going to get there. So I lost 7 pounds and then made the mistake of weighing myself again today - which I never do because I can become obsessive- and I gained 5 of those pounds back. I want to cry. I feel like I'm on an uphill battle that is never going to get better - I see so many others in the same weight range who've lost twice or three times as much in this time frame.

Melinda,

you are my hero.  Or one of them - I have many heroes and heroines on OH. But you are now one of them.

I am not shy and love being in front of people.  I even perform (lead singer) in a classic rock band for fun!  I have no issue doing that, or speaking professionally to hundreds of people - even at this weight. 

But put me in exercise clothes with a group of thin people? I can't bring myself to do it.  I would die of shame. I work out at home on my equipment, or to DVD's.  But I'm literally looking in the window at Zumba classes, eating my heart out, wanting so desperately to join.  I haven't yet found the courage to do it.... Yet.  

But Melinda, YOU HAVE INSPIRED ME TO TRY.  That's right.  You feel like you're a hot mess, and feel that you somehow failed on Monday, but I assure you that you did not fail.  You have inspired me to put myself out there and try.  I won't try a step class (my knees are not ready for that yet) but I will try a group class, of some sort.  And I will walk in there with head held high, just like all of you who have gone before me.  And I will do it because YOU INSPIRED ME. 

Please, please, don't give up.  Please find another class, another way, and try again.  

And thank you so much for this post. I think you rock. 

Christine

You are so brave! I waited to take a class until I was 3/4 of the way down. I walked until I could run., I ran alone for 16 months because I was afraid for anyone to see me.  A new place opened in my town and I went the first day so I would be lost with everyone else! Lol.