Recognizing addiction? Habits vs. addiction?

In my surgery support group, the social worker in charge says that all of us in the group have a sugar addiction.  In general, I am wary of any broad-stroke generalizations.  However, I have been thinking a lot about addiction.

Obviously, because I have needed weight loss surgery, I have issues with food.  I would like to blame factors like heredity, metabolism, past dieting, stress, hormones and pregnancy, injury, etc.  I do believe all of these have affected my weight.  But I am trying to become more aware of my eating issues.

I have been thinking a lot about these questions, and would love anyone's thoughts/expertise/experience:

--How do we recognize addiction in our lives?

--Specifically, how do we recognize eating-related addictions?

--Is it fair for me to say the social worker is painting things too broadly?  Or is she right?  Do all WLS surgery patients have a sugar addiction?  I am not taking issue with the idea of addiction, nor with the idea of sugar addiction, but with the generalization of sugar addiction for everyone.  (BTW, the social worker is a former WLS patient now working to get off her own regain; she went to a course/workshop on sugar addiction, and I just think it is like she now has this hammer, and everything she sees is a nail.  I do not mean this to sound overly negative about the SW, as I do appreciate her insight and help.)

--Is a food addiction different from a sugar addiction?  I think it is.

--What other kinds of addictions could be related to weight issues?

--Definitely I have some bad food habits.  Are bad habits independent of addiction?

--Whether the weight issues are due to addiction or bad habits, does it matter, in the sense of treating the problem?  That is, can an addiction issue be solved the same as a habit issue:  changing behaviors.

Thanks!

I could care less about sugar. I didn't before surgery and don't after surgery. My addiction is bread. I can walk by a piece of cake, cookie, pie, candy...etc. But, a piece of bread will make me stop. look, and think. Bread is my crack. Like any addict I have to walk away or I will indulge. I think we all have certain addictions, and I'm not talking about just those who have had WLS. Some people are addicted to chocolate, smoking, food, sugar, etc, you get my point. Changing behaviors, along the lines of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, has been shown to be the best defense to treating addictions.

30 days makes a ha*****ange behaviors to change your habits. We will always fight our addictions, some days are easier than others. I think that is due to emotional triggers.

Thanks for your reply!  Your point about cognitive therapy was one of the things I was trying to get at in my post:  that I can spend a lot of time wondering, "I am addicted; I am not addicted; I am addicted; I am not" (like plucking petals off a daisy).  But that will not get me anywhere unless I address behaviors, which I would have to do whether addicted or not.I knew a young man growing up who felt excluded by the mainstream kids.  He was a smoker.  He used to say, "Why should I be judged?  Everyone has their vices, but my vice just happens to be something people can smell, so it is more obvious."

Wow, good questions but I offer no expertise because I hold on to those blame factors you listed. ha.  From a list of common transfer addictions (drugs, alcohol, gambling, shopping, smoking, sex, cleaning) I've been trying to secure cleaning as my transfer-of-choice.  I mentioned this at support group only to told by the NUT,  "people can't choose their transfer addiction."  I say, "why not?"  I can just hear my DH if I tried to choose sex...he'd say, "don't pick one where I have to do all the work."  I'll continue on with cleaning.  Even though it might be the least harmful, it's probably the toughest one to stick.

Selhard--this made me smile on so many levels.  I always love reading your posts and replies.  You have such a happy way about you, such a lovely sense of humor.  I wish you were my neighbor.  :-)

Well, likewise, pokemon.  It's a good thing my family won't see your comment.  Otherwise, they'd have a thing or two to say.  Have you ever seen the show, "The Goldberg's?"  They swear I'm exactly like Mrs. Goldberg.  I disagree, Mrs. Goldberg is too mild a version.  My DH is much like a select-mute (talks at home but not in public).  He confesses he married me knowing he'd never have to talk again.  My DD's became master-manipulators in their teen years trying to outwit my "professional-mom" tactics.  More than you care to know, but there you have it.  We're dysfunctional but then I figure life is dysfunctional.  Aren't we all doing the best we can with what we have?  Thanks to those that listen--I've got endless words of unsolicited advice.

Well, to answer your first question: I do think that perhaps it's pretty broad to claim that everyone in your group has a sugar addiction.  I seriously doubt that is true.  I think there are a variety of reasons that people become obese -- and sometimes there multiple reasons in the same obese person.  The same is true for underweight people: some people have fast metabolisms, some are anorexic and some people aren't food disordered but just don't eat very much.  

That said, I have come to terms with the fact that I am a food addict.  I used to say that my triggers weren't sugar because I have never really been a "sweets" person -- I am not into desserts, cakes, cookies, pies, etc.  I am more into real food --savory foods -- and there's never been a potato that I haven't liked.  I love bread.  Hot delicious pillows of buttery deliciousness.  And for me, once I start eating these things, I feel an inability to control my intake.  I become fixated on eating -- so much so that I got to 344 lbs, ruined my health and my family was facing the consequences of my addiction. I was an insulin dependent diabetic with sleep apnea ... when would it be that I would die in my sleep and my little boy would find me?  Seriously.  That's exactly what happened to my morbidly obese friend who was 4 years younger than me.  Loving my son meant that I had to handle my addiction to food.  Loving myself required me to "get real" about my relationship with it.

For me, my bad eating habits contributed to my addiction.  Correcting the things that I could change has spurred a more positive relationship with food -- which takes the obsessiveness away from it.  For me, it's over-simplification to say that I could just change bad habits -- just like advising a heroin addict to just stop shooting up. Without identifying the underlying problems that led to the bad habits, working to change my unhealthy thinking and eating in a way that doesn't fuel the pattern -- I don't feel that I would have been as successful in the short or long term.  Ultimately, not doing these things is exactly why I hadn't ever been successful before...

I worked with my clinic's support group for a long time, but finally had to cut away from it because those who weren't really working the program were bringing me down.  I have been 100% on plan 100% of the time -- and I have found that I need positive people around me who are really working the program to provide support.  "Show me your friends and I will show you your future..." That is one reason that I continue to come here almost daily.  To give back and to utilize support... I come to the main boards to give support and have a private group that has a lot of long time maintaining vets.

I did work with an addiction and eating disorder counselor for 9 months before surgery and for 6 months after.  I think that one on one time really helped me to focus on what works and what doesn't for me.  It also gave my a non-biased sounding board to work through things.  

I hope I answered your pondering.  Good luck to you!

I really liked your answer. I too have and still do work on my addictions to food.

The comment about the support group struck home to me. The one I was attending had a few people who were never goingto be helped. They had an excuse for everything. These were people more than 2 years out. I too have stopped going. I have started attending a group of more positive people. We started the group independent of the hospital where we had surgery. It is nice to talk out some things sometimes.

Kathryn, this was such a generous and thoughtful reply.  Thank you.  I read it earlier today, at the start of a very full and stressful day.    All day long, I thought about it and wondered how I could respond in kind.  Don't know that I can, other than to say I really appreciated it in many ways.

I loved the quote, "show me your friends and I will show you your future."  I appreciated the acknowledgement that "just changing" is too simple:  if I could "just change," then why was that not enough for the rest of my life, when I did really try to lose and keep it off.Definitely, at least for me, there are many aspect of the WLS that are making me face myself more fully than before.  I thought I had been honest with myself before, and it pains me to consider "what am I hiding?"  There can be so much shame there, even crossing the bridge to honesty with oneself.

I liked your attitude about "getting real" and addressing unhealthy thinking.  The idea of being sober and authentic appeals to me.

Anyhow, thank you so much.

I just wanted to thank you for responding -- it's nice to know that a response is somewhat helpful to another person and it's kind of you to let me know. 

On the subject of shame, a topic I recently explored in a group of like-minded people, was some of the things I used to do as an obese person. There was a lot of shame about my eating that I really needed to own and forgive myself for.  There's been a lot of need to forgive myself in this journey and to redefine who I am and who I want to be.  Being honest and authentic is really a great way to describe it!