I hate to pass judgement on someone after hearing just one comment. But your husband sounds like kind of an ass.

Had to respond to this, within the first 5 minutes of meeting the therapist for psych clearance she hates my boyfriend. He is a complete ass. Has no faith that I will follow through. He is the only living person that I have to talk to face to face about this but I cant because all he cares about is what I will look like in the end not the fact that I cant sleep im in pain and all of the other limitations I have due to size. He is not overweight at all. Has no idea what this struggle is like. He is actually part of the reason I eat like I do. This is very hard to go through with a support team im out here all alone. Feeling like giving up

I saw this and had to respond to it.

Have you thought, maybe, HE might be co-dependent or an enabler or something?  I saw something like this on my 600 lb life. One of the boyfriends really helped the girl be morbidly obese so he could take care of her.

Don't give up. Not ever! This is your life! If you lose it, there aint another one (unless you are buddist).

You might need to get rid of your bf if he is a sabatouer!

My SO was not supportive at first.  I told him I had made up my mind to have the surgery, and I was going to have it no matter what, for health purposes.  I wasn't doing it to look better, I was doing it because I needed to - my health was deteriorating.  Once he saw I was going to proceed even though he didn't want me to, he accepted it.  ..........  Now that I've lost a significant amount of weight, he is trying his sabotage attempts again - always offering me "goodies" etc. -- it ain't working!!  

You're doing this for yourself, because you need to.  Take care of yourself.  You have to be your first priority.  Don't let him "overpower" you.

Atta girl Mary.  Don't let him sabotage you. You're one heck of a strong woman and you're worth it! 

Surgery is risky and your journey will bring a lot of changes / challenges to your relationship.  That can be scary and people don't always respond the best way when they're scared.

Excellent point.  

My guy was supportive but he was also very scared. He never said "I wished you wouldnt..." but did ask "Are you aware of what COULD happen..."  It was weird in the sense that he was thinking of a more immediate danger and I was worried what "further down the road" would look like.

:)

thanks everyone.  this whole process is overwhelming and his negativity makes it worse.  I do know that if he can't support me through this then I will be making more changes in my life after WLS

I am sorry to hear that.  He should be supportive of the fact that you are trying to better yourself. He may be threatened that if you lose the weight that you will be attractive to someone else... Just a man's perspective.

OOOH!  I feel an asshole comment coming out of me. It isnt directed to you. More like a retort to him.

"...I should loose it like a big girl. "

You ARE losing it like a big girl. Big girls (and most americans regardless of sex) generally STAY big because they can't lose the significant amount of weight to achieve normal.

Then follow up with "Do you REALLY want me to continue losing it "like a big girl" and have a decreased lifespan and increased health problems due to obesity? REALLY? Because that is what you statement asks me to do."

Damn, I hate non-thinking spouses regardless of sex. Worse, sometimes I am the non-thinking spouse.