Unwanted Questions/Comments

Good Afternoon! I had surgery at the beginning of March, and I couldn't be happier with my decision! However, I am not liking all of the unsolicited comments about my appearance, the way my clothes fit, etc. And all of the questions are even worse - how much weight have you lost, how do you feel, do you miss food, what do you eat, can you have just a little cake, etc. I am a very private person and beyond my parents and husband, I don't feel like answering questions all of the time (it feels like it anyways) with my co-workers, employees, extended family, and friends. While I appreciate their concern, I'd rather them not ask - how do I politley make this clear?

I am the same way (private). I opted not to tell anyone about the surgery except for 5 people in my life that would be supportive etc..

I am getting comments from people at work, but they are not surprised I am losing weight since the past few years I made the change to a better lifestyle. They just think I kicked it up a notch this year.

You are fresh out of surgery, so this is new to everyone. Give it time and the questions will slow down. I don't have a surefire answer for you to give, sorry, but be true to yourself and it will all work out.

Good luck.

Honestly? Forget about being polite. Just tell them straight up that you do not wish to discuss your weight at all. If they continue to ask questions or make comments, go full on mad on their butts. 

That's what I'd do, but then again...I'm not known for my ability to be polite. 

Audrey you took the words right out my mouth. I think just telling people bluntly but nicely is the best way to go about it.  If they do not accept that answer then tell them bluntly without the niceness!!

See, I'm different.  I told my co-workers so they wouldn't ask ?'s and for the most part, I haven't been asked one.  I've had a couple compliments, but no real ?'s.  However, that's what worked for me.  I didn't want the ?'s or people talking behind my back, so I put it out there to my immediate team.  I've been asked if I feel different, but nothing about the weight lost, the food, nothing.....hope this helps!!!

Thank folks for their compliment/comment and then either change the subject or end the conversation. Most folks will figure out you don't want to chat about your weight and will stop asking. 

Just tell them that you feel fine. You don't weigh everyday, just on dr visits. That it's not all about how much weight you have lost but about you getting yourself healthy and say I really would wish people would stop asking! Get that out there a few times and they will stop!

I am a ***** and would say, "Why do you ask? Are you thinking about having weight loss surgery?" That shuts most of them up.

I was pretty open about my surgery once it was done, and didn't mind answering questions from people who were honestly interested in how I was doing or genuinely curious about how post-op life was (there have been two women at work who have had WLS since I had mine in 2007 and I especially didn't mind talking with them since I assumed it was because they were at least thinking about aurgery as an option), but I had a couple of people who were just looking for personal info to have somethign to gossip about, and I did as Jen mentioned and just thanked them for the compliment or gave a rather vague answer and then immediately changed the subject.

One of the busybodies persisted in asking questions (and they were pretty personal ones: how much weight I had lost, what size clothes I was down to, whether I had lots of sagging skin, whether I was getting more attention from men, etc.) so I told her that I didn't really want to discuss such personal details.  I wasn't rude at all, just firm.  That took care of it.

Lora

This subject has been addressed on here before.  The best advice that stands out was:     turn the questions around and direct questions toward the person asking...like the examples you gave...  "how much do you weigh?"  "what's the most weight you have every lost?" "do you feel comfortable at your weight and would you like to weigh something different?" and "what's your favorite foods to eat?" OR you can change the subject and ask questions about their weekend plans-n-such.   They will either get the hint and stop or jump at the chance to answer your questions about him/herself.  

If I had to do it over, I would have been more private--especially with the question, "how much weight have you lost?" because, most likely, that question is a nosy way to quess-timate just how much I must have weighed at my biggest :(