Hmmm I don't know if that is "normal"...is anyone really normal?  ;)

In all seriousness though, I had the same feelings.  Before surgery, I found food to be comforting when I was lonely or stressed or anxious.  Like, if I had a terrible day at work and got home late, I could scarf down six slices of pizza!

Let me tell you, after surgery, it was quite an adjustment to have a terrible day, eat a chicken sausage, and get the foamies because I ate too fast or too much.  I realized I needed to find new ways to cope with stress.  I definitely still at times mourn the ability to eat a massive meal, as ****** up as that sounds.  But those times are extremely rare, and 99% of the time I am satisfied with my measured amount of chicken salad or shrimp or whatever protein I am eating.  This is because my new life revolves around being fit and active, going to the gym, going on walks with friends, being out and about and moving through society as a socially acceptable skinny person.  My knees don't ache when I get out of bed.  I don't have to fear a middle seat on an airplane.  I can sit in any restaurant booth in the world.  

As I told a friend who is considering the sleeve when we talked yesterday, my RNY is a tool and just a tool.  I can eat a seemingly unlimited amount of popcorn or wheat thins or pretzels.  When I eat as I am supposed to (dense protein), I have restriction and am reminded that I have this tool for the rest of my life to help me maintain a healthy weight.  But everyday I have to make good choices (and dammit sometimes making good choices is hard!).

While the quantity of food I eat now will never approach the levels of pre-surgery (and thank god for that!), I have to say that I have found awesome alternatives for my favorite foods pre-surgery.  I make pizzas out of half of a Flatout Light wrap with pizza sauce, cheese and turkey pepperoni.  I still eat Mexican often - fajitas with no rice, beans or tortillas but with all of the flavor!  Pure Protein Chocolate Salted Caramel bars or Yasso frozen greek yogurt ice cream bars are a perfect dessert.  

Is it normal to feel like you are never going to eat a good meal again?  Probably, since most of us on this site have food addiction issues or are at least binge eaters.  But if you decide that you are ready to get healthy and fit, you can use this tool to transform your life!

Best of luck!

Yes, it's completely normal to feel this way. Just keep doing what you're doing stick with the plan anyway. 

You will eventually eat small versions of former dishes. Relish the feeling of not feeling hunger, and focus on a definite must. You MUST form new coping habits, bc eating can no longer be the answer for emotional strife, boredom, etc. Down the line you get to enjoy a beautifully put together meal, that will probably involve new and improved ingredients b/c your habits will have change. After my first RNY I saw a BK commercial and was like "Waaaaa!" about that greasy slop. Now having had revision surgery due to a gastro-gastric fistula, I feel this spring weather and want grilled tilapia and Southwestern mediterranean black bean quinoa mango salad sprinkled with fresh cilantro dammit! But it's only been 5 days since surgery HAHA! I never even had tasted those foods prior to surgery #1 13 years ago. So food will be off the plate as a priority initially, but you shall enjoy it again, maybe even in a much better relationship :-)

I set up an appt with my therapist to start seeing her regularly to check in with personal growth during recovery, but also because I'm a non-drinker now, but loooove wine, so I will be focusing on that with her b/c I know it will be tough. I am in DC, everything involves drinking! I do not like denying myself, but obviously it's small sacrifice for a bigger win.

So do what you can til surgery, do not eat food like you'll never see it again, go for walks to clear your head and think, write your thoughts down to keep track of your process, find a therapist (sometimes you have to try a couple to find one that fits your style), and look for things to do with your time, because time to get living.

Thank you, that hit alot of things I have been thinking. I am a journal user so I already write down things, I have been doing that. The talipia dish sounds really good! Can you send me the recipe? 

I know my relationship with food has to change, and I am willing for those changes. I am glad to hear of a 13 year success, I am sorry another surg we y was needed. Was the gastro-gastric fistula related to the RNY in any way? Other than the need for the 2nd surgery, we're there any other complications over the years? Please reply when you feel like it, you have enough on your plate, lol, already. :-)

When I had my RNY, my original surgeon did not excise the remnant stomach away. It just had several lines of staples placed to form a new little pouch, and they brought a piece of intestine up to hook to the new little pouch, and the old stomach just hung out not being used. Over time, a gastro-gastric fistula formed (a hole from one stomach to the other through the staple lines) and food was going in both sides, being digested in both directions. I was ravenous, and had to work out several times a week and eat relatively right just to maintain my weight. When the weight started going up, I sought answers from a new surgeon. That is when I learned of the gastro-gastric fistula. The newest RNY was done the better way, as the staples are placed, the tool cuts away the big stomach. Mine was taken out entirely.

Only other complications are when I became vegetarian and became severely anemic because 1) I stopped taking my vitamins and 2) did not know plant based iron was not bioavailable to humans unless prepared in certain ways (consumed with citrus helps).

I was a slow loser, so when I stalled around 50 or 60 lbs off, I got active and stayed that way. I've done 2 marathons, run with a group each weekend,  learned how to ski, boot camps for women, yoga, hot yoga, cooking classes, etc. There is a whole other life out their for the lively and active. Which is who you'll be if you make that choice.

Thread hijack!

I am in Manassas!  Another guy is in Leesburg. DCgirl is obviously in DC.

Would we ever want to get together?

I guess I felt that way for a little bit, but then my idea of what constitutes a good meal changed. Now I would love a nice filet minion or wild caught salmon filet. Further, I already know that many of the foods I used to enjoy aren't really that good or make me feel gross when I eat them. I don't want to go back to feeling terrible all the time.

To me a good meal means a tasty meal that I really enjoy eating... not necessarily overeating. In the first months very few things tasted good... it wasn't until I was almost 6 months out that I saw a change. Food started tasting good again. There is part of me sometimes when I am really hungry that I can eat so little and wish I could eat more. And yes, I would still like to go to the diner and get a Cheeseburger and fries. Hasn't happened... and I know I would be disappointed if I did. Even early out (it was summer) I went with my family to as seafood restaurant... I got a plate of crab legs. It was perfect. Takes a long time to break the shells, so I didn't feel like I was eating so much slower than everyone else. You will figure it out.

I really appreciate every comments, especially the reminder to relax and know I will get the hang of it. If I wasn't ready to address the obesity, then none of these questions would have come up because I would still be in denial! Everything happens for a reason and all in the time it is supposed to happen. 

Crab legs are still a favorite of mine.  When Kroger has them on sale for $5.99 / pound, we stock up. YUMMMM.