Logically I know that is not true, that I will have fabulous meals after my surgery just different portion sizes. I am ready for the change that the RNY will give me the tool to succeed with. My insurance has approved the surgery, I am waiting to hear from my surgeons office for a date to schedule. I have been very good a****ching my portions, trying to cut out liquids with my meals, drinking more water everyday, but now I want to go back to eating like I did before I decided to check out bariatric surgery. Anybody else feel that way, is it normal?

HI Friend!

I am writing because I saw your post and I am a bit concerned about your mindset.

First- Do you get a physiologically pleasurable feeling from a full belly?  I used to feel "warm and happy" after a good meal.  I don't know about the experience of others, but after surgery I have NEVER felt this feeling again.  The warm/happy feeling instead has been replaced by a feeling of constriction. Much like a boa constrictor around my heart!  However, this makes it really undesirable to overeat.  Yet, I wished someone would have told me that I would not get the warm happy feeling anymore. I miss it sometimes.

A good meal- you MAY be able to go back to those meals. Most people aren't dumpers. However, those good meals may have contributed to obesity in the first place. Why would you want to go back to them?  Would you return to a former lover that physically hurt you?  An extreme analogy but we are needing this extreme surgery because we are extremely fargone.

"I want to go back to eating like I did before... is it normal?" - no. it is not. It is ONE thing to mourn the loss of your old eating plan, but if you WANT to go back to your old way of eating, then the surgery is not for you at this point. You will never be able to eat like you did before. You will have to take small bites and chew your food well pretty much forever. Your portions will be limited forever (unless you choose to stretch your stoma and pouch but why ahve the surgery in teh first place?).

Surgery is for those that want to make permanent life changes. You are permenantly altering your physiology. You get ONE SHOT at this surgery and the dramatic weight loss that follows as I have read that revisions do not lose as much as fast.

It is ok to be "not ready" and put the surgeyr on the back burner for awhile. I did that 3 times over a span of 10 years.  It wasnt until the third time of going through that I was REALLY READY.  There is no shame in not being ready.  You are being honest and your honesty in the end is giving you the best opportunity in the future by saving THE ONE SHOT for a time when you can MAKE IT COUNT.

If you really dont know what you feel, seek a counselor. I did.  It helped. In my family food was equated to love and happy events and good work (liek report cards) and good behavior. It is not any of those things. It took me a long time to learn that it is not a tool for stress reduction, or the maker of a happy memory. It was at a happy event but it didnt make the event  happy.  Food is not love.  As a newlywed, I am still messing up the "food is love" equation. I catch myself in my head thinking or saying " I love you and I want to make food that you like."  I am equating the making and serving of food to the act of love or at least correlating it.  And that is not right. 

You may also have a food addiction.  I know that I have/had several that I needed to overcome. I had to give up chocolate, chips, crackers, popcorn (love those snappy/crunchy salty carbs), bread, cookies, cake, frosting rice, and pasta.  I can/could binge eat those till the cows come home.

Please don't be insulted. Please thoughtfully consider the above points.

Wishing you the best in your path,

Skinny

Thank you for the reply. I appreciate the thoughts. When I eat a "good meal" and I have that full feeling I am actually miserable. I regret eating that much and I don't do that for a long time because of the discomfort I feel. I don't get a warm happy feeling nor do I need that to be satisfied. My idea of a good meal is the goo of fashioned southern comfort food. Mashed potatoes and gravy, rolls, green beans, chicken or a roast... I know I can't eat like that now because of the calories, fat, cholesterol and carbs, but that doesn't stop the desire or want to have that meal like Mano used to make.

Wow, well said! I am addicted to the same things, and they will have to stay behind in my old life. I know it will be hard, but that is what got me here in the first place. 

In feel like I have been given a gift, and I am going to take advantage of it.

What I am missing is things I have given up already because of calories, fat, carbs... I am wondering how others have felt and how they deal with the pre-surgery days. You are right it is a gift and I am ready for it, just nerve talking I bet.

Oh. You are MISSING them!

With THAT said., "Yes. I DO miss some of the foods I have given up and not others." For example, the cheez-it crackers I miss terribly. I can hardly bare to look a package of them!  HOwever, things like ice cream do not even cross my mind.

Missing/mourning the loss of a trigger food is normal. My diabetic husband and I often share how we "miss" a food. But we dont eat becasue it is literally "dead" to us now.

I know there are things I will have to give up entirely and things that will be allowed but in moderation only.  My logical side knows these things and that I won't be missing out on things, it will just be different. A new normal for me. 

I remember having a mourning period over food as well.  Once the weight starts coming off, it will be a distant memory.  You WILL enjoy food again but in a different way, it takes a while, but you will adjust to your "new normal." 

If you haven't already, check out Elaine's two NSV's - including size 8 Lucky Brand jeans! Whoo hoo! I will take the comfort of a well fitting jean any day.  And a size 8 sounds like an impossible feat to me but she and the other vets are showing us that with commitment and dedication and hard work, it is indeed possible! 

Way to go again, Elaine! 

LOve the new profile pic!  Wow!

And to the OP. What she said. 95% of the time, what she wrote is my experience