And some bad habits just refuse to die
Sometimes-I compare myself to an alcoholic. Sometmes, it feels like it "wants me" and I am "this close" to a popcorn/potatoe chip/bread/cheesy rice/mac-in-cheese/loaded baked potato orgy.
Really...
RNY Surgery: 12/31/2013;
Current weight (2/27/2015) 139lbs, ~14% body fat
Three pounds below Goal!!! Yay !
for me,it is an addiction,just as much as alcohol or,cigarettes,or recreational drugs,is for those addicted to. Those substances.
i. Have to work a 12 step program and it is a struggle every single day. Like an alcoholic,I am never going to be cured of my addiction to food and carbs and sugar. I will always be in remission. I am always one bite away from a full blown falling off the wagon episode.
Does this mean I am perfect. No,not by a long shot. I have had as much as 7 months of abstinence,in the past,then I ate a cracker. Took me weeks to get back to one clean day, but I did. I am not clean right now,but am waking up every morning with that in my mind and one day I will be clean,then I will start on day two.
I am 5 years out and though I maintain my loss very well,I know I am only that one bite away from being morbidly obese again.cause ,for me ,one bite leads to so many more. More bites is going to lead me right back to obesity and I totally don't want to go there ever again.
You have really good insight and know yourself and triggers quite well! Lots of people aren't there yet and it's harder for them to stay on track because they get blindsided by the triggers. Knowing where you have come from and why, I think it's ok to think kindly on yourself for how you used to behave when you didn't know better or couldn't control it, but understand that now you have the tools you need and can therefore behave differently. This may be the first big test for you and you are getting through it! Struggle or not, you are doing it which is fantastic!
Karen
Thank you!
