"Hatchet Face"-what my mom called me.

Sounds like my mother in law! It's really hard to make sense out of behavior like that because it is done by a miserable psychologically impaired person. They often time have no idea what the impact their behavior has. 

What does she mean by hatchet face? Like your face is thinner so someone must have take the rest off by using a hatchet? So weird and insulting. 

Hang in there! It's an opportunity to show yourself how far you've come by not having her constantly putting you down-distance is the key here. 

I don't know what hatchet face means but I found myself wanting to kick your mom in her hatefilled FACE!    You look beautiful and don't deserve that bucket full of crazy.... congrats on everything in your life that is right!

So glad that you knew this was coming and prepared for it. You're a very strong person. Continue to keep your head up.

Hatchet Face is a derogatory term that means a person has a thin face with sharply defined angles.  It is the way many of us look during the second year after surgery.  By year three, the body catches up and the face usually fills in.

It is sad that your mother would use a term like that. You are beautiful.  I wish I had a daughter of my own.  I am so proud of how well you have done.

There is nothing wrong with telling your parent to **** off if you have to.  Just because they gave birth to you doesn't make them a good person or deserving of your unconditional love.  

You look gorgeous!  I'm sorry that she has no mouth filter.  My mother wasn't nearly that bad but it really helped when I set boundaries with her and changed the subject, walked away, or hung up when she would become abusive. 

You will be so busy the next few days it will be easy to pawn her off on someone else so you can enjoy yourself  I'm glad you had armored yourself for her mistreatment.  The best response to her is to live your own good life.

Your post made me so sad and angry.  And, it also made me realize how far I have come.  My mom was similar to yours, and I always made excuses for her.  (I still do sometimes--but she has improved).  When I got married and started my own family I finally found a "voice" and started standing up for myself.  I finally had the "balls" to tell my mom "when you would like to talk about something that does not involve putting down someone else or being mean, let me know".  I didn't argue or fight--just a simple statement.  At first a few months went by.  The next time, only a few weeks.  As time evolves, she has realized that she now needs me more than I need her.  If I don't want to answer the phone and take her call, I don't.  I am no longer controlled by her.  I have WLS in 2005 and just had a revision a week ago.  Although I was sure I didn't have the surgery because of her--I know part of me did.  (I am not saying that is where you are).  Give yourself some freedom.  If necessary, get a counselor.  The one I saw before the revison (required by insurance) suggested I tell her in advance "my weight loss will not be up for discussion".  Please be strong and enjoy your life--you are successful and beautiful--and your new husband/children deserve all of you.  I know you will go far!

All I have to say is F her.That is horrible.I have two children that I do adore.I am so lucky to have them. Just remember it is your wedding not hers. It is your day.

Please post pictures.

I totally get where you are coming from when you said "If we weren't blood relatives  I wouldn't even like her or be friends. I have 3 brothers and three of us feel the same re: our other brother. He is to put it simply a "Jerk." No offense, but from your post he sounds quite a bit like your Mom, a petty person who delves deeply to find a shred of human frailty  and then use that to demean and belittle. It is good that you put the length of the country between you. It is totally fine for you to "not like nor be friends with your mother" Re: my brother I am at peace knowing that he is my sibling and he will receive a modicum of civility from me which society accords a  blood relative however, "I do not like him nor is he my friend" and that will never change.  I wish for you the the same peace in future dealings with your demeaning, belittling, "Jerk" blood relative.

P.S. I would be so proud to have such a beautiful, intelligent, and caring woman as you for a daughter, and I am not BS'ing either! Have a wonderful Wedding Day !

Yeah, I had a mother like that.  Maybe it was the times?  Nothing I ever did was good enough.  There were many periods in my life that I cut her out.  She didn't even know about my youngest daughter until after she was born.

I have 5 kids, including 3 daughters and my fear is that I am like my mother without realizing it.  I mean, I am sure my mother didn't realize what a ***** she was.  She probably thought she was being a good mother by pointing out all my faults and how I could improve. 

One thing I am well aware of is that now that my kids are adults any relationship we have is purely voluntary on both our parts.  They can choose to cut me out of their lives any time they want, for any reason.  I remember to treat them good, the way I would treat a friend, the way I want to be treated, because they don't have to have anything to do with me if they don't want to and I would hate to not have them in my life.

I learned to tune my mother out and her opinions no longer had any affect on me but that took years.  For many years I subconsciously or consciously sought her approval and at some point I realized I wasn't going to get it so why bother.  It didn't matter any way.

The funny thing is that in the last 5 years of her life, when she was starting to get Alzheimer's, she was the nicest she had ever been.  It's like she forgot she was a *****  She was truly the mother I always wanted and we were able to forge a relationship before she died.