Hi Gang,

I am writing because I just wonder what is a normal post-op WLS support group like?  My surgeon has one.  I haven't gone because I am afraid it is going to be too much like WW (i.e. people cheating and still losing or arguing with the NUT or some other dumb thing).

In all honesty, I never really saw myself as NEEDING support before. However, I took a promotion and end of year is here and I must get my quotas done. I am also getting married and the stress of the whole millieu is getting to me. And for the first time in 9 months, I find myself wanting to "self-soothe" with chips and salsa.  Like it is a bad idea that keeps looping over and over and over in my mind.

I know myself well enough to know that when I am stressed, I typically do what is expedient NOT what is correct/right. I often lose short of my long term goals when stressed (which is momentary).

Since time is short, I am really really worried about this support group.  Am I wasting my time?  If I drive an hour there, and hour back, and spend an hour to get NOTHING out of it.. I will be even more stressed and maybe even angry?

What does your support groups look like? I am hoping that this one is sort of like church. That it will pull my mind back into the game and *remind me* of what I am supposed to be doing and give me tips for avoiding tempation (i.e. the damn tortilla chips and salsa)...

I need to get that stuff out of my head. It is not in my house, but I *know* where I could get some.

Seriously needing to meditate...

-SkinnierScientist.

You will NEVER know what the support group is like UNLESS you go and attend one.    I know when I go to my surgeon's support group meetings I almost always walk away encouraged.    I am almost 9 yrs. post op and for the first about 6 to 7 yrs. I NEVER missed any of his meetings.    I am also a OH support group leader.   I always try to encourage and support my group members and help them deal with any issues that they may have.    Just a thought.   You can get some pointers on how NOT to get so stressed over what you've got going on in your life at this time.    Give it a try...what have you got to loose but some time.   You might walk away ready to conquer the world after the meeting.   Congrats on your upcoming wedding !!!

Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian

Thank you.

I can't be the only *reformed* emotional eater out there.

But sometimes, I can't believe how easy it is to go back to old crutches. Just when I am pretty sure that I am done with something (i.e. I have learned, moved on, and will not fall victim to it again), something happens which makes me want to go back.

In my head I do not want to go back, but that illogical emotion is there. 

Ugh. What I would do to be part vulcan right now.

I know what you mean.   I think all of us has a emotional eater locked up inside of us.    Try the meeting.   I'm sure you'll walk away with knowledge that will help you and if nothing else....you might make a new friend that you can turn to for encouragement when it's needed.   Good luck to you.

Hugs and blessings ~~~ Vivian

If you're eating in reaction to stressors, I'd recommend finding something to do that distracts you.  I used a hobby that I had to do with both hands and couldn't have food nearby.  Others use sewing or crafts.

It's tough, but you can do it.

If time is that critical. I would also start looking for a local - close by counseling one on one. That helped me more with stress and issues post op, dealing with work and relationships as i was losing weight. A few sessions was all i needed. 

This. is. exactly. it! "dealing with work and relationships as i was losing weight"

Sometimes, by the the things you say, I get a feeling that we are very similiar and you work around/near me. 

You seem to have similar experiences to me.

Well, my support group is not like church at all. It's a telephone support group.  we meet by conference call.  Members take turns choosing a topic and facilitating the group.  People don't argue with the nutritionist because there is none.

Here's what the support group I volunteer facilitate looks like:  once a month located in a conference room at our local hospital with about a dozen attending. People have had WLS locally, at other in-state cities, or out-of-state. Pre-ops are thankful for long-term post-ops attending.   We start the meeting going around the table stating our name and WLS status. The first half hour is a guest speaker (nutritionist, pharmacist, fitness trainer, mental health, etc.), then a half hour of open discussion with the last half hour reserved for pre-op or newly post-op people to ask questions.  The hour and a half goes fast with many lingering afterward.  My opinion is only a rare few wouldn't benefit from support group attendance because, like you know, most of us need to reinforce new habits when old habits are all too often knocking at our door.

Some support gracious are great; others would be a waste of time if you only had to walk to your living room.  MANY of them, unfortunately, seem to be populated almost entirely by pre-ops or post-ops less than a year out, and many people have complained of "support" groups where it is more of a lecture on a specific topic than a group atmosphere or where it is so unstructured that it ends up being dominated by newbies with vitamin and "help me get my water down" issues.

Some, however, are great.  They offer true support and have a leader that knows what a good group dynamic is.

I would second the suggestions for individual counseling or for a phone support group. The phone support group that Kelly and I attend (as well as some other OHers) is on Monday nights at 7:30.  PM either one of us if you want to check it out.  Most of us in the group are farther out and use it to stay on track or to get advice, encouragement, or a kick in the pants when we have issues.

Lora