Vets - they DO know a bit! - Long Post (and Cross-post)

Just reading a few recent posts had me thinking of my own journey and how I ended up listening to what the "vets" had to say.

I am 3 years and four months post-RNY. I started this journey in November/2009 and had my surgery March/2011. No hoops to go through. It took a long time to get my first orientation, and that was fine. It took a VERY SHORT time to get my surgery after I met the surgeon, and that was fine. It was fine because I came on here, I listened, I posted, I joined support groups. I poured over material before I got to see the surgeon. So when she said on Friday, March 19, 2011, if I could come on Wednesday, March 23, 2011 to have my surgery...I jumped on it. There was an opening, I had a BMI that is considered low in comparison to others (43), thus making her feel confident that four days of Optifast, instead of two weeks, would be ok. I didn't jump through hoops, there wasn't another candidate available, so I was it. And that was fine. Some folks on here were annoyed at my short stint on Opti...and I have to agree. I was pretty darn lucky.

The support I received after my surgery was wonderful. I kept up quite the schedule, and when I posted a question asking if it was ok to try something earlier than what my "manual" says, I got many "NO!" answers from vets, and several "sure, give it a go" from people a few months out. I listened to the vets, because not only are they vets, but they have been on here for years. They have made their own mistakes, and learned from others who have made mistakes as well. Nobody is perfect on here, but I did take advice of someone years out, than someone months out. I might have wanted to ignore the vets, because it wasn't the answer I wanted. Oh, and I DID ignore the vets when I asked if three months out was too soon to try alcohol. Everyone said yes, too early. I ignored that, and drank it anyway, made a fool of myself (causing some disturbing posts on FB months later) and learned my lesson. 

I tried bread and pasta and popcorn early out. My vet friend was shocked when I could finish a small popcorn from the movies at 3 months post-op. Sorry...not that I COULD...that I WOULD! Everyone is different...and popcorn has always been a trigger for me...and being able to get it down was not a good thing...so I stopped that. The vets didn't pat me on the head, they just said, "Now you know to listen." 

Slippery slope....a term I used to hate to hear, because I didn't want to hear it....but I listened to the vets, and heeded their words. I wanted to succeed. I also listened when some of the vets started worrying about re-gain. I swore that would never happen to me. I still struggle with that worry....as most of us do. Anyone under two years might not quite understand that yet (as I didn't), because our bodies are still malabsorbing and we are still able to eat less at that point. I remember sitting across from one vet five years out, as she ate a Big Mac, fries and a Diet Coke. She was struggling, and it wasn't  the "why?" is she doing this (there was a lot going on....things have changed since that low point from her), it was the "how?" Guess what? It IS possible to eat all that, five years out. Because you can train your body to do so. She didn't eat it as fast as a normal person would...but she still managed to fini**** all. She said to me that she didn't listen to the vets....she promptly ignored everything because she stopped caring.

This opened my eyes for me....big time. And watching her change it around, and be able to lose again, also makes me feel better. Because bouncing back from such a low point is possible. With support and going "back to the basics" (ANOTHER phrase said by the vets). What you will not understand for a long time, is your old habits will come back...if you let them in. For some reason, after surgery, I stopped watching TV. I just had no interest. I was out doing things instead. It was part of my honeymoon period. I still don'****ch nearly as much TV as I used to....but a habit of wanting to snack when I watched TV started creeping back into my life. Also eating and reading. I could read for hours and mindlessly eat. And guess what? I can do it again now. And I have....then I took notice and had to pay attention and stop that habit too.

When I had my first dumping eposide, the vets laughed. Because, like an idiot, I ate an Easter Creme Egg (my favourite) followed by a glass of milk at nine months out. The absolute shame and horror in the hours that followed were crazy. I reacted to my ex-husband's move day quite poorly, and sought help through the clinic....something the vets suggested. 

Oh, and i've had an easter creme egg since...and no reaction that time...again the help for some can take quite awhile. I'm one of those people. Something my doctor reminds me of is that I spent a good 25 years making poor choices and getting habitual about things....it's not going to be solved instantly. The surgery felt like a miracle to me for quite some time...and it was a slap in the face (that I expected...because I listened to the vets) when all of a sudden I cared about food again...I could eat more...I wanted to be "normal" again. 

But that's not why we are here, is it? We have to continue with the changes we started making early after surgery. There will be a time when all of a sudden...or quite gradually (everyone IS different after all) you will notice old habits creeping back in. Maybe lots, maybe just one. But it happens. Get on top of it and go back to what you learned when  you were first out. 

I hope everyone here is doing well in their journey. THe ups and downs are really crazy. I miss the days of when I was scared because I thought I wouldn't enjoy food again (although, I really RELISHED those days for the most part). Losing the weight is the easy part (even if you don't make it to goal...a number on the scale), maintaining for life is the hard part. Again, i'm quoting and re-quoting so many who have said the same words before me. 

And with that, I will repeat myself here....Listen to the vets. They do know a bit.

Excellent post, Kelly, thanks for cross posting!

You are most-welcome! 

Thanks, Kelly.  We (vets) take a lot of crap (usually from folks who are newly post-op and only want to hear the answers that they want to hear), and occasionally -- as much as we try to blow it off as "just another vets are mean" post -- it does get discouraging to come here (for years), see the same posts over and over and over again, and to still freely and happily offer our time, concern, and desire to help, and then have people complain because something isn't worded the way they wanted or because we wouldn't offer false reassurances of success and/or hand-patting.  We are ALWAYS willing to celebrate long-term success, though!

Reading the occasional post like your helps reinforce our belief in why we stay here.

Thanks again. 

Lora

This is a very helpful post.  I'm already noticing (fearfully) that I'm trying to justify adding things to my plan because I've done so well so far and other people are doing it.  Not cool.  So far, I haven't gotten further than the mind speak but I know that the battle will get tougher and tougher the farther out I get.  Just today I heard someone say they would plan for popcorn at a movie and i thought, hey, it's my birthday, I can do that too.  But nooooo, what they're able to do is NOT what I'm able to do.  I remember how movie theater popcorn is like a buttery, salt coated crack for me.  I will have to stay away.  But yeah - I'm only 6 months out and the battle in my head is so much more than it was earlier. 

Thanks for the reminder - the battles may be won but the war is NOT over.  I will be an obese patient in remission for the rest of my life...and I will need to accept this reality and live accordingly. 

I've always said that if you were traveling to a new place that you had never been to before who would you want showing your around?  Someone who had lived there for years and knew the good places and the bad neighborhoods to avoid or someone who just moved there right before you?

I don't know about anyone else but I would rather get my directions from someone familiar with the place.  Same with post op life.

I am in a place I have never been before.  I have been a normal weight for longer then I have ever been and I would like to stay here, thank you, so I follow those who have been there for a long time and also those who have gained weight and then lost it again, to find out what I should stay away from and what I should do if I don't.

Thanks for this great post!  I still look to the vets that I followed back in 2011 to get my answers today. 

Great post.  Thanks to the vets!