fear of death
A huge part of being successful in this, and I'm not just talking the weight loss- is your attitude. As of right now, you don't listen to anyone else about this but your medical team. They wouldn't be approving this if you weren't healthy enough to handle it. There's a lot of hoops to jump through, even if you are paying out of pocket, doctors want to ensure they are safe to perform the surgery- and they know best. It's critical that you remember your brain controls so much of how you are going to handle this. Don't let all those nay-sayers get in the way, at the end of the day it has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with them. It's not their struggle. It's not their problem. It's yours. You know what you have been through. You know what you can and cannot handle. The fact you can make the post about this already tells us that you don't agree with them and that you are stronger than all their words.
Listen to your medical team. Follow the strategy. You are your biggest influence.
And for your own sake - Shut out those who don't know what they are talking about, or read an article in a doctor's office magazine and so now are self-proclaimed experts.
We're all here for you :) Living proof that you can do this! You really really can and then you continue coming here and you can share your story with someone else later who will post the exact same concern. And you'll feel great! :D
Hi Kandi, i had my RNY March 1 2013 and reached my goal. i had alot of nay sayers but it was my choice to make me healthier and nothing else worked. i did research for the 5 years i waited to have it done. Vitamins and Protein are very important as well as ensuring you get everything you need in. yes the first part is and can be a rough road but look ahead to the way you will look and feel after, i did and also have a 2 year old that kept me from going crazy with worry before i had it done. feel free to add me as a friend, more than happy to lend an ear or help out anyway i can. Cheers. Cheryl 
I had this same fear. I told only four people: my husband, my closest friend at work, a dear friend who has several WLS family members and my MIL. I told no one else because I knew I needed surrounded by support -- I was already scared. My husband was originally the least supportive, but I had no choice in telling him. He's a naturally thin person and doesn't understand my relationship with food. He also doesn't see me as fat, but as his beautiful wife who he doesn't want to lose. I love that about him. He tried hard to be supportive but made no bones about being afraid to lose me. On the day of surgery he said, "please don't do this, I'm so afraid I'm going to lose you! Our life is already good!" And I said, "my life isn't good. It isn't fun going through life as the fat person. It isn't nice holding everyone's things at amusement parks while you watch your little boy ride for the first time. It isn't good when you have to take insulin twice a day. It isn't nice to be in a sum total of 3 family photos because you're embarrassed of how you look -- to miss running after your son playing soccer, to lay on the grass in the summer (and be able to get back up), to take your kid to a water park and actually swim -- life isn't "good" when you're missing so much of it! He said he'd never thought of those things. He just sees me as a person he loves -- but from that moment on, I had full support. He never left my side.
I guess my point is that none of these neigh sayers have to live your reality, with your morbidity and your risks. I'm five days out. As I said to my husband, "I lived!" And as he answered back, "No, I think you've just begun to."
"What you eat in private, you wear in public." --- Kat
For me, death was a real fear in terms of getting WLS. I could look at all the statistics and I knew that if I didn't do it, that I would be facing a fate would likely be worse and end with death anyway, but all the statistics in the world were small comfort. Save one. When I was talking to the anesthesiologist about my fear, she put it this way: my chances of dying in a car crash on the way to the hospital were far higher than my chances of dying on the table.
on 1/5/14 12:00 am
People love to seem to scare people of something they know nothing about.I would shut them down and talk about something else.I only told a few peope.It makes things easier.But once you let the cat out of the bag you just have to move on when they start talking about horrible things and change the subject.When I had my full hysterectomy everyone was like are you crazy for having it all taken out at 43 i had huge cysts that would not stop growing and was in pain.But know one knows unless they are in your shoes.I had my surgery in October and I am so glad I did it.I was in pain due to IBS and other stomach issues and now I am almost pain free.I know every one is different.Just keep your list in your head when they do this to you.I am so glad I did this.I feel so much better.I was so afraid I was going to have a hard attack or stroke and the paramedics wouldn't be able to carry me.Best Wishes to you.Keep your eye on the prize.
