fear of death

I know that I am doing this to make  myself healthier, but I wish I never told anyone else that I was having the RNY. All I hear  about  is "you shouldn't  , I know so and so and they died" I think hearing that so much has instilled an unnecessary fear of in  me. Has this  happened to anyone else?   How did you handle all of the naysayers?

I doubt they know many people that died from RNY, since the mortality rate is pretty low.  I wonder how many people they know that died from obesity-related problems?

I have a clown I work with that is full of horror stories.  He is also 400 plus pounds.  I let it go in one ear and back out the other.  I'd rather die getting this done than to die a slow death from the diabetes.  If I die, Christ is my Savior and I know I will go to be with him.  I trust him to bring me through this surgery and to help me regain my health.  Have courage and go through with it.  Look at all the inspiring people we have on here.  God bless you.

Hey Steve!  With you on that.  Christ is the ultimate backstop for this stuff.

Till this day - only 3 people actually know I had GB almost 5 years ago.  For the very same reason you are experiencing... I kept it a secret.  At the time, I was more concerned with the weight not falling off fast enough - only to have to hear everyone's BS about the surgery being a failure- so I kept quiet.   There was a flipside to that however.... My Grandma of all people started a rumor around the family that she thought I was on drugs cause I had lost weight so fast.  Geeze - I wish people would mind their own darn business!  

My advice - in one ear and out the other!  If you've already decided this is what you're going to do.  Don't let anyone change your mind!

All my best for your success!

PS - Having GB was the best decision for me!  I had no complications during the surgery or post.  Be mindful however - you are not superwoman once you get to goal!  :-)

I also know all is well in my soul if something should happen. I think having a near brush with death due to obesity related issues gives me a solid perspective on things. Sure it's a risk, but the alternative is much riskier to me. 

As far as the clown goes, the internet is a dangerous thing. People read a few stories and suddenly think themselves experts on things. Do your own research and have faith. I agree with the others, in one ear and out the other. 

I have honestly done nothing but research since I started this process. My surgery is scheduled for January 16th.  I feel like I'm ready...and nervous. I pretty had to tell my boss so I   could schedule time off and go to my preop appointments, then it kinda spread from there. Then everyone thought they should put in their opinion,so here I am.

My mom had a stroke in her eye and lost all her vision in it at 50 years old. She was 5'2 and 195 lbs. She had RNY 4 years ago and all her comorbidies are gone. She still can't see out of her eye, but my point is that had she not made the decision who knows where her diabetes would have led next.  My Grandmother lost both of her feet from diabetes related issues before she died at the age of 69, huge, unhappy, and after living a sad and lonely life. 

I don't want that for me. I don't want that for my children. This is the best decision of my life, When it comes down to it, people can say what they want but it's YOUR years of life you are gaining back by doing something NOW!

And there will always be ignorant people. I know it because I was one of them.

My best friend tried to scare me when I told her. She was constantly bringing me these papers on someone dying or complications. She even said to me once, that "it was my funeral" if I went through with the surgery. This is someone I have known since childhood and I loved like a sister! I had my surgery on the 3rd and yes I had a couple of issues, but they have been resolved. As far as her and I go, we rarely speak now and I am ok with it. I did however stop telling people I had this surgery, because I simply don't want to hear the comments like "you took the easy way out". So now I keep it to myself, the best I can.

I had RNY surgery 10 years ago- when it was still fairly new. This site was just a small site with maybe 50-100 people (boy has it grown!). At that time there was a woman named Beth. She was morbidly obese and morbidly afraid of the surgery as well as the possibility of death. She was approved for surgery and several times made it to a few day before the actual surgery before chickening out. After her, if I recall correctly. the forth time of this circle, she was scheduled for another surgical date. She died about a week before it came- of medical condition related to her morbid obesity. There will always be people who fear or focus on the negative possibility's of this surgery. That is human nature. Try to keep in mind these people in your life talk about these negative possibilities mostly out of concern for you. Do any of them think of the guaranteed negative effects of not having the surgery? Sure you can lose weight the "old way" but, I am also sure, you know, it is not a long term success for most. You are doing something proactive for your own health. Know that for whatever drove you to this decision you made it for YOU, and in the end, that more than anything else matters the most. You won't be able to change the thoughts of others- hell, like I said, I am 10 years out and still may parents do not agree with my decision to have the surgery 10 years ago, even though after surgery I lost 179 lbs . Try not to concentrate on the opinions of others and more on the solid knowledge that you are doing something to make YOU healthy, not them. I might add as a reassurance for you- in my 10 years post op and one year pre op on this site and in my personal life- I have known one person who died, Beth, of morbid obesity, not surgery.