Lonely

Am I the only one that gets incredibly lonely during the holidays? I feel lonely down in my bones. I always feel like this around Christmas.  Being single and having a small family make it especially difficult. I just wanted to post this because I feel a little panicky and consumed with this feeling - and I can't turn to food anymore. 

I do.  I am estranged from my family (for good reasons) and don't have many friends near where I live.  I'll be spending tomorrow alone.  Well, alone except for my dog and cat.  Who are pretty good company, but still...

For Thanksgiving this year, I spent the day volunteering at a soup kitchen so I wouldn't be alone.  I really enjoyed that.

I'm planning to just have a peaceful, relaxing day tomorrow.

That was a very good way of taking a not so nice situation and making it good for you and others who need help.

 

 

I wish I had some words of wisdom that would make you feel better, but I don't. I've never been all rah-rah about the holidays myself, to be honest, but it's surprising how many people feel the same way you do at a time of year that's "supposed" to be so wonderful.

When your thoughts turn to food, try to think of how far you've come since your surgery, and distract yourself with something else. If you've come this far you have the strength to keep going. And who knows? Maybe next Christmas, things will be very different for you!

Best wishes, and hang in there.

No, you are not the only one!  Many people, even those who have large families, experience mild depression during the holidays.

i am also single and have a very small family (just my mom, brother and SIL... and an aunt, uncle, and cousin in Michigan whom we literally see about once every 10 years).  A few years ago, my other brother -- the one who was closest in age to me, and the one with whom I shared Christmases when we were young -- died unexpectedly and then a few months later my fiancée was killed by a drunk driver.  I still feel the loss of both of them very acutely at Christmas time.  

I use one of two approaches during the years that the sadness is more acute than usual:  I either try to really throw myself into Christmas (decorating, listening to Christmas music, watching special programs or movies on tv, etc.) or I do the opposite and busy myself with OTHER things and ignore Christmas as much as possible other than shopping and Christmas day.

I hope you feel better tomorrow.  if not, at least it will be over soon!

 

Lora

I'm a single mum and am going to be spending Christmas with just me, Ian (my 10 yr old) and the dog and cat.   I actually feel sorry for people who have big family Christmas's because I'm not sure they are often as joyous in reality as they are "supposed" to be 

Ours will be quiet, and stress free and I am roasting a chicken with brussel sprouts that no one will complain about, and stuffing that was leftover from Thanksgiving and frozen.   I haven't bought any sweets, desserts or any of the extras that most people will be trying their best to avoid!!!!

I'm sorry it makes you feel lonely to have a small family Christmas - maybe in future years you can look to volunteer somewhere for the day - if it weren't my year for Christmas with my son (his dad and I alternate) I would be at the animal shelter I volunteer at getting some puppy and kitty love!!!

 

I DREAD the holidays.  I have a sister who is an alcoholic and has ruined every Christmas for the last 35 years.  I would LOVE to stay home with just my husband and my daughter...but I would never hear the end of it if I did.    Count your blessings.  Sometimes a smaller celebration is just right.... and you have control of the menu.  Wishing you a Happy Holiday and wishing I was in your shoes!

Do I understand you correctly? You have allowed an alcoholic ruin every Christmas your daughter has known? I would put my foot down and not be going under any cir****tances.  Better to hear that you did not go for Christmas than to allow an alcoholic to destroy the holiday. 

Oh yes, I've spent many holidays alone - and once I realized it's really just another day, I made peace with it. And did something for ME.
So for ME, I load the tub with bubbles, put candles all over the place, put on my favorite music, and, in the old days, drank a glass of wine (from now on it will be watered down grape juice but that's ok - it's the ritual that counts!). I don't shave my legs or scrub-a-dub-dub, I just soak, and get all Zen like. Then into my favorite jammies, grab the cat(s), and pick the movies *I* want to watch, and drink hot cocoa. Great with chocolate protein powder and milk btw! And I'm so grateful that I have all that ME time with no one making demands on me, or having to compromise on ANYTHING. So I take what could be a sad time, and make it a ME time. Yes, you can look at it as "lonely", OR you can look at is "alone" - vastly different in both practice and attitude.
I'm not trying to invalidate your feelings - truly. But sometimes if we can just look at something from a slightly different angle it doesn't have so much power.
Take care of yourself tonight and tomorrow... and reflect on how different of a person you are than last year... and give yourself a pat on the back! Yay YOU!
O

Yup, ditto for me! Frankly, I enjoy a quiet holiday, though it would be nice to see my family. I like to think of it as time to decompress from everything.