TKR healing, depression, poor eating, accountability

Tomorrow will be four weeks since I had my second knee replaced. Healing is going pretty much the same as with my first one, which means that at this point, the overall pain level and swelling is down a lot, I am using a cane instead of walker or crutch(es), but that it is sensitive to activity type and level. It doesn't take much to make it hurt for several days.  Yesterday, I vacuumed just the family room (with a light canister vacuum) and stripped the bed, washed the sheets, and then re-made the bed.  I did NOTHING else except my daily PT exercises and watch LOTS of football, but apparently that was too much. So today it has been very sore and is making me cranky. I am getting more flexion slowly but surely, but I am just tired of it hurting.  Happened with my other knee, too.

Because I had not been able to drive until last week (and only short distances even now), I have been pretty physically isolated from people and that -- along with the pain and some feuding between my mother and SIL that caused us not to celebrate Thanksgiving at all and is threatening any kind of real Christmas celebration -- is starting to take a psychological toll.   I don't do well for the Nov/Dec holidays anyway because of the deaths of my brother and my partner a number of years ago, so this is just making it worse. I am already on the max dose of Lexapro, so I just need to work through it. 

Because it hurts to stand for too long, and because of the depression, I haven't been fixing a lot of food and haven't cared much what I ate (although I have been SURE to get in my daily treat... sometimes two!).  Other than a healthy casserole and all the "leftovers" from it, I've been eating things that are easy to fix but not the greatest choices. I've been having Greek yogurt or my SF hot chocolate with protein powder for breakfast, so that is fine, but the other meals, well, things like LOTS of halves of PB & J (with Simply Fruit "jelly") sandwiches on whole grain white bread (if that is truly possible, which I am skeptical about), frozen Lean Cuisine/Stouffer's dinners or Honeybaked ham (both high in sodium and I need to be watching my salt because of kidney stones), turkey hot dogs, cereal, oatmeal with fruit, etc..  I normally don't eat a lot of processed foods OR bread, so this is a little worrisome. I did have Wendy's chili several times this weekend, and tomorrow is grocery day, so hopefully I can get back on track. I think I am going to get a whole chicken to roast.

I have also been having trouble getting my fluids in, so I've gotten lax about how long I wait after I eat to drink. It hasn't really caused any issues with being hungry, but I don't want to allow myself to let up on "RNY cardinal rule #2" because almost everyone I know who has gained a significant amount of weight back also went back to drinking with meals.  I put a Post-It note on my large insulated mug today to remind me to wait to drink.

I guess this is mostly just a long "vent" and/or accountability exercise, and to let people know that even at 6 years out -- when the eating habits are well ingrained -- things can throw you off kilter. 

Lora

Lora, I'm sorry you're having a hard time.  It's not really surprising - I think anyone would be, in your situation. I wonder if getting your fluids in and getting your meals back on track might help you feel a little better, emotionally?

 

Yes, I'm sure it would. You know how it goes, though, when you have to fight the apathy of the depression.  That's why I thought I would get a whole chicken.  It can roast on its own and I can do a lot with it without requiring a lot of meal prep time.

Yeah, I do know.

The roasted chicken is a great idea and will give you several meals and its comfort food to boot :)

You are dealing with so much...I didnt realize just how much until reading this. Remember none of us are perfect especially when under stress so dont be to hard on yourself. But do remember to take good care of yourself sweetie theres only one you!

Sending positive thoughts your way-

 

I can see and understand why. This is a tough time of the year for many of us and yours has been compounded with the passing of your loved ones and now trying to recovery from a MAJOR surgery and family disagreements. 

Getting a chicken to roast sounds like a good idea. The sticky on your cup is a nice reminder also. Yes, we all know that even further out life situations can through a curve in there. 

You'll get through this because you are aware and not in denial. Don't be too hard on yourself. 

I knew I should have stopped by when I was in Ohio, brought you a healthy meal, and discussed politics with you.    I could have converted you by now...

LOL.

I  am completely un-convertable, however