WLS death-Neighbor

I would not feel obligated in any way to update her about anything. Sepsis is terrible, true, but it doesn't only happen to those who have had wls.
She is trying to co-opt your life for her own melodramatic purposes. Head her off
at the pass. Naysayers and dramatics will take over your life if you let them.

This surgery has risks associated with it. It's not to be taken lightly. However, the risks are small and in my opinion outweighed by the potential benefits. Know and understand all the risks. That includes the risks involved with doing nothing. Make peace with your decision to have or not have the surgery. Do it or don't do it for you and nobody else. Don't let anyone on here or otherwise talk you in or out of your decision. It is between you, your family (if you choose), & your doctors. 

After the the surgery, should you choose to have it, I might drop the person a line and tell them you found their advice inappropriate. Like someone else said, does she stop everybody she sees get in a car and tell them it's dangerous to hurdle our bodies at 70+ MPH at other people doing the same thing? 

I wish you the best and I hope you find peace with whatever decision you make. 

I think I would definitely NOT call her.  You need to concentrate on you & what's good for YOU. If you were to call her, it would only be to benefit her. I don't think she can help herself to NOT be negative about the experience.

This is what I like about this forum.  A lot of support.  You will find that sometimes we don't pull any punches but we are here and ready to offer advise from experience.  As a "scientist", I'm srue you have to look at all sides of issues before you make your decisions.  Trust yourself.  You have made your decision and are even taking steps to prepare for post-op life (sewing lessons). 

That acquaintance you met was speaking out of her grief.  Her perception of WLS will always be altered because of her loss and no amount of statistics would change that. 

An acquaintance died a few weeks before my surgery, and her death was attributed to her WLS even though she was several years out. I really struggled for a few days on canceling mine but then started counting all the people I know who've had successful WLS and decided the statistics were definitely there in favor of it and put her death behind me. In the end, it appears drugs (along with a low K+) played a big factor in her death, so all these 'stories' we hear aren't always the whole story, either.

I had surgical complications myself. My surgeon and nurses stayed on top of things, and I'm just fine now. It was a rough start and I had a few weeks of buyer's remorse for sure. Now, 6 months later and 100+ pounds down, I know I made the right decision. Chances are, even if you do have something go wrong, you'll be fine if you have a good surgical team on your side.

As far as checking in... no, I would not. But if her brother's death was directly related to his surgery, I understand her apprehension when she heard you say you were having it, too.

Its natural to have fears before you have surgery, as it with any surgery you go through.  I have a friend that had a very negative mother before her surgery, she chose to not go around her mom as much before surgery and if she did she told her she did not want to discuss her decision because it is just that "her decision".

You also have to look at it this way.....if you don't have the surgery what is your chance of living a longer life?  Only you can make your decision and allowing the negative (devil) to put fears within you will surely not help.  Find a support group or your therapist and talk talk talk,  it will help you.

Good luck to you and your journey. 

I never told anyone I was having surgery except my husband so it prevented these types of encounters.  I wouldn't call her.

 

I think that weight loss surgery is typically performed on a group of the population that is already unhealthy, so of course there will be some that have complications.  Just think of how many people would have died from their weight and co-morbidities if they hadn't had the surgery.  So many bariatric patients have serious, life threatening diseases to start with - sleep apnea, diabetes, high cholesterol, heart disease, etc.  Is it any wonder a rare few have complications?

I would start reading the positive.  Just from my own perspective, I know I could have died if I never had weight loss surgery.  Now, I have no health issues at all and my quality of life is amazing.  I regret not having it sooner.

Keep things to yourself.I had to open my big freaking mouth and I wish I didn't .You get so many people with advise which usually is not good advise.It's always I knew someone who had it and they gained it all back or they talk about death.Also they talk about not being able to eat certain things and it can be uncomfortable.All I know is I decided this yesterday that I was not going to tell anyone else.I just don't want to have to explain myself to anyone.I would throw away her number she needs to go to therapy and get through this difficult time.

Hope you are feeling more at peace this morning!!