WLS death-Neighbor

HI All,

First, I apologize for any typos.  I cut my finger while sewing and this bandaid on my finger results in typos!

I am writing just to get a weird conversation off my chest. I am scheduled for WLS on 12/31/14.  This is my third time "pulling the trigger" on WLS. I chickened out previously (the first time) and something happened in my personal life the second time that made the time "not right" (too much change. I melt down at too much change, too often, in too short of time).

I am also a ruminator (i.e. I dwell on things...keep trying to think my way out of situations, etc etc).  Now, I realize that complications can and do arise from surgery.  Fatalities DO happen. Rare..but they do happen.

Previously, this freaked me out and I chickended out.

Flash forward 8 years...here I am. I try not to dwell on the complications/fatalities from WLS.  It is a small percentage. Just as a small percentage of people can and do win the lottery.  I have not won the lotttery, I am equally not likely to die from WLS.

So I was in the sewing store and ran into a neighbor. She wanted to know why I was there, and I told her that I am learning to sew/tailor in prep for having to take my clothes in because I am having WLS.

She got all upset. Told me about how her brother died from sepsis from WLS. She proceeded to give me her number and dwell how he really didnt want it , was worried about the complications and knew that something was going to happenen the whole time. Then he expired (self-fullfilling prophesy) .She WANTS to check in on me (I barely know her...we just talk in the parking lot about once in every three months).

Why would she tell me something like this and dwell on it.

I took her number..but would you actually "check in with her after surgery"?  I feel weird about the whole encounter. Was this God?

How would you handle it. I am trying hard to put it in the back of my mind so I dont chicken out again.

 

Personally, I'd keep it to myself!

You could have simply said that I am learning to take in my clothing, I am working on losing weight.

I sure don't put it all out there because I don't need nervous nellies like that ruining my day/week/whatever.

If you are not someone who can handle an interaction like that without chickening out, I would SURELY keep it to myself. Big time!

And no, I don't think a nearly hysterical woman who is taking ONE experience to mean it is terribly dangerous as God. I find God to be pretty even keeled and not given to histrionics. 

Is she going to have you call every time you drive your car within 25 miles of your home? Because more people die from that than any other length of car ride. Is she going to have you call every single time you take a prescription narcotic? Because people die from that. Is she going to have you call every time you ___________ fill in the blank.Someone dying is not a reason NOT to do something unless it is oh, jumping out a 20 story window to the concrete below. That is pretty much an 'every time' sort of thing to avoid. But here's the deal. People die from obesity related illnesses ALL THE TIME! I'd rather give myself the best chance possible rather than be fat and slowly dying, going blind, losing limbs to diabetes or heart issues, joint and back issues. 

Please talk to a therapist about your issues...it sounds like it has a lot more in your life than just this surgery. A self described ruminator would do well to have someone to help you achieve some inner peace on a consistent basis and drive worry from your normal agenda. And keep the nutjobs from having you think it is God speaking to you. ;)

I would not call her back or reach out to her.  Yes, there is a small chance of complications from WLS, just as there is from any surgery or even the anesthesia.  That being said, every time we get into a car and out of the road with idiots who drink and drive, text, use their cell phones, are too old to still be driving - we put ourselves at high risk of serious bodily harm or death.  It's all relative.

That being said, I think you need to be 100% committed to this lifestyle change.  Are you working with a bariatric therapist with whom you could talk?

Negative nellies have no place in your life before surgery ...    If you happen to see her afterwards, wave nicely, flick your hair and skip across the parking lot!

Toss the number in the garbage where it belongs! You do not need this type of nonsense !! This was not god, it was a no it all Debbie downer, Please try not to worry about this, put  it all aside and get ready for a wonderful  new way of life:)  good luck to you:)

Dear SkinnyScientist,

I respect your fears. Take your time to make sure this is what you want for you. Only do it once you feel at peace with your decision. I chose the lapband because a co-worker's sister died from bypass surgery. One of my DEAR friends that had her band removed and revised to bypass and died of complications. So, I chose the band out of fear and then kept it (along with the puking) out of fear. BTW, I also shared about my friend to another friend who was considering bypass surgery. She had the surgery, lives a fabulous skinny helthy life, and I emailed her to tell her of my decision to have my band removed and switch to bypass. She was so happy for me.

Life is filled uncertainties. I believe each of us must be at peace with our decision.

Then my son had bypass surgery and he not only made it through with flying colors, His life is better than he ever imagined. He is healthy, happy, and active. I watched him and is body transform and now I'm ready. My surgeon placed my band, did his bypass and will remove my band and revise me to bypass. I trust him, and I am ready.

12/2014 is more than a year away. If you are ready, we will all cheer you on. If you are not, we will hold your hand until you are ready.

Bless your heart. Take care, because we care.

Thanks for this note!

It made me feel much better.

 

I am sorry...but I had one of those typo/brain fart moments.

I am getting rny 12/31/13....I am getting married on 12/27/14.  I was baptized in Dec too!  I love everything Xmas and New Years!!!

 

You will be fine I was scared and thought the worse would happen even wrote a letter to my husband in he event something would but 10/4/13 came the nurses gave me something to chill and by 1 pm the next day I was on my way home!! No problems I can even eat meat though my plan does not allow fruits or veggies until 6-8 weeks I have not gotten sick and am able to get liquids in and protein without a problem!!! Good luck to you!!!

Wow!  It is great to hear about your wonderful progress.

I am going to meditate and put the whole unfortunate conversation with the Neighbor out of my mind. So many people have had so many positive experiences!!!

CONGRATULATIONS on getting married and the anniversary of your baptism. We are all here for you. Just think you will be so much healthier for your new married life.Talk out your fears. We all have them and like i said, are here for you. I bet the more people that tell respond t this thread and tell you their positive experiences, will help.