Help me from chickening out!

I am dismayed at how little actual screening is sometimes done for approval for surgery.  Even the "rules" i have been given are, IMO, too liberal.  if left to my own discretion, i would require far more people to get counseling before being approved for surgery.  i know what happens many places, though.  It's the same thing that happens to me. If I recommend approval for surgery, I only have to write less than a page in my report/assessment (in addition to our checklist type of form).  If someone meets the practice's criteria for flat out denying surgery (e.g., someone who is actively anorexic or bulimic, or someone who suffers from a psychotic disorder that would prevent them from following post-op instructions), I only have to write about a page and a half. If I want to recommend additional counseling before approving someone for surgery, though, I have to write about four pages explaining WHY, backing it up with exact quotes from the surgery candidate, documenting any preliminary DSM diagnosis, etc..  It is FAR less work to just say "yeah, sure, they'll be fine".  Having HAD this surgery, though, I can't do that because there are some people that I know are not ready (but could be successful if they worked through some issues FIRST).  I have a job offer from the practice, and I have to give them an answer by Wednesday, but because of this, I am reluctant to take it.

Lora

I applaud your comments and while I am not a psychologist I am suspicious of the way WLS is growing so rapidly, especially in the number of foreign doctors that are in practice in this country.  I do wonder about the quality of their education and if the popularity of the surgery in this country is attracting them because it is a fairly lucrative specialty.  With insurance and medicaid guaranteeing payment it is an incentive to take as many patients as they can and that can influence all doctors regardless of nationality.  I always tend to defend the medical profession where I understand the issue but this is one I question.  I especially question it for a 25 year old person who very likely does not understand proper nutrition and has probably never had proper example from which to learn.  I say that from personal experience.  Having the surgery then learning how to eat is backasswards way to do it but I don't think the profession is about to change unless it bites them in their wallet.

Agreed 100%.  I am most concerned about how many people who are in their 20s are doing this.  Number one, no one who is in their early 20s has "tried everything" else, even if obese from childhood. Moreover, someone who is that age isn't really much more capable of understanding exactly what they are committing to for the rest of their life (heck, many of us are not no matter what age... And I am not sure how one really CAN be 100% until you have to live with it for a while) than a teen would be, and --quite honestly -- the majority of the people I have seen who think the surgery isn't much more extensive than a lap band and that it is an easy way to get and stay thin (yeah, good luck with that!) for the rest of their lives are in their 20a.

i do NOT mean to bash all twenty--something's, because there are some who HAVE given this surgery careful thought and who do understand that this is serious business, but most that I have personally come across have not.  They think that because they are young, they will not have any complications, and for whatever reason, they really FO think that ha ing surgery is a "get out of fat jail FREE" card and that once they have surgery, they won't have to worry about their weight any more.  Yet they are still getting approved for surgery with nothing more than a cursory evaluation many times.

Lora

i had my psych eval two weeks ago and it lasted 5 hours. the Dr. had me take a test that had 565 questions, Lora you might know what i'm talking about. anyway, the results came back and she recommended 6 months of therapy before surgery. now i started therapy a month ago because i want to get to the root of why i've been so overweight and for 45 of my 57 years. i was a very disappointed with her recommendation but know in the long run it will be the right thing to do in aiding me to accept the changes to come. i'm anxious for the change but i want it to last so i'm working hard at therapy.

Thank you for your reply. How has it been 9 years out??  Do you still have complications? 

I'm 20 years old and had the surgery on Monday. Eventually down the road you will be able to eat small portions of regular food as long as you make sure to get your fluids and protein in. For me I've been obese since early childhood, been to nutritionists, played sports in high school, worked out with personal trainers and weight was always fluctuating. I have not really been hungry yet, just trying new things just for taste, I mean other then that I kind of just have cravings for things (head hunger) but try some soup or something that you like early on and you forget about those cravings. Keep your mind active and don't think and you'll do great.

DId your surgeon tell you how it will be when we are in our 60s? My surgeon said i'd have to do vitamin supplements but nothing much different than that.

Marissa,

WLS is a huge step for anyone, no matter what age they are.  I agree with many of the voices here. Only you can make the final decision.  At 25, you may be able to just modify what you eat and exercise to lose the weight without the surgery.  You have to be honest with yourself and really admit what you want and how to go about getting it.  I am 34 and I am awaiting insurance approval. I had to admit that alone I do not have the will power to lose the weight and keep it off.  I need this surgery as a safety net.  Going through the process has helped me understand my unhealthy relationship with food and how I was using it inappropriately.  As someone else said, if you don't deal with the issues that are driving you to food in the first place, there is no diet, WLS or modification that is going to take the weight off and keep it off.  The changes have to start in your mind first and then work their way down.

Take some time and really consider your life. 

If you are still at a point where food is the most important thing then NO, this is not the path for you to walk down. 

If you are not ready to develop a healthy relationship with food and understand that it is just for nourishment and not a form of enjoyment, then NO this is not the path for you. 

You just really have to be honest with yourself and really admit what you want to do.  WLS is just a tool. Nothing more and nothing less.  The success of the tool always depends on the hands that wield it.

Personally, I have finally come to a point where I want to live again.  Food and my weight have aided in me becoming a recluse.  I want to live. I want to be productive. I want to enjoy life. I want to feel good about myself again. I want to look in the mirror and like what I see. For the first time in forever I WANT....

And I am going to achieve....

GOOD LUCK, whatever path you take.....

Thank you for your response. It means a lot. 

I also want the same things you have.  I'm become much more introverted since I gained weight and I'm naturally very extroverted.   I want to enjoy my life without wondering if I sit in that chair, or if I'm to heavy for this or that. 

I don't believe I have the will power to do this on my own. I've tried and failed multiple times because its hunger that drives me to start eating again. 

Maybe I'll look into other surgeries, perhaps the lapband, which is much less invasive. 

OMG ...   Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Go to the Revision and Failed forums - a lapband is the worst thing you could ever do to yourself!   It is imperative that know EXACTLY what ALL the surgeries (there are 4!) entail and what they mean for you BEFORE you go ahead with any of them.