Help me from chickening out!

I don't know if I need the surgery. I've tried many times to go on a diet but I loose motivation quickly. Seeing that I need to loose 100+lbs pretty much looses all motivations for me.  Add that to the fact that when I do diet, im CONSTANTLY hungry. COnstantly. And I think about food ALL THE TIME.  lol. Its sad, but true.   I figured I needed to do this surgery to re-teach me how to eat food.  

Im just really confused on my decision. I dont want to wake up one day 10 years from now and tell myself tht I shouldve done it. 

Thinking about food all the time isn't going to change after surgery.  You will, in fact, probably think about food even MORE for the first couple of years!  Losing motivation quickly is also not going to change (with the possible exception of being motivated by the faster loss than  on a traditional diet).  

I understand how daunting it can be to know that you need to lose 100 pounds... It seems like a VERY long road when you're looking at only 2 pounds a week... But I think you would be MUCH better off working on some of the psychological issues and learning to eat healthfully BEFORE jumping into a serious surgery that -- despite what many seem to think -- cannot be "reversed".  You can have it modified if there is a compelling medical reason to do so, but not just because you decide you are tired of having to watch everything you eat or you are tired of taking handfuls of vitamins every day after 6 years.  Also, even after the modification, your anatomy will NOT be the same as it was before surgery (and un-doing a RNY is a much more complicated surgery than doing it in the first place and not many surgeons do it).

Lora

Lora

I really appreciate your insight.  My biggest concerns are in fact my age and doing this surgery so young!!! Although I have tried and failed diets for a while, I dont know if I have the will-power to do this.  I am 25 and my insurance is only for another 11 months (I'm currently unemployed, unfortunately). So I dont have much time to figure it out.  

How has it been for you in the last 6 years? Do you have trouble with your nutritional intake? 

I can pretty much eat anything in small amounts (about the only exceptions are onion rings (more than one bite still makes me extremely nauseous), skins from most apples, and the membrane around citrus fruit segments), and it takes a LOT of sugar to make me dump (so, for all practical purposes, I don't dump).  That means that there isn't really any physical impediment to me eating almost anything I want... and, like most people after the first year after a RNY, I have to rely on old fashioned will power and making good food choices to keep my weight off.  If I stop doing that, my weight starts to creep up.

I have mild hypoglycemia, so I have to eat every 3 - 4 hours in order to keep getting shaky and nauseous from low blood sugar (which means having to make good choices 6-7 times a day).  Many people get Reactive Hypoglycemia where they have blood sugar crashes if they don't eat the right combination of fat, protein, and carbs at every meal/snack.

As far as vitamin levels, it took me over a year to get my Vit D level up to an acceptable level (and I am still trying to find the right dose (somewhere between 100,000 and 150,000 unites a week!) to keep it high enough but not too high.  My Vit K level was in the tank at one point and caused me to above bleeding issues.  I originally did not take an iron (for about the first 3 years) because I had a hysterectomy when I was in y early 30s, but my iron and ferritin levels dropped for three years in a row, so I had to add iron supplements, and even with those, my iron is lower than I would like, so I recently increased it.

More troubling, though, is that I never had a single kidney stone in the 45 years BEORE I had my RNY and in just the last three years I have had FIVE kidney stone incidents. A couple of months ago I and to have lithotripsy to blast two stones that were too large for me to ever pass, and then just a few weeks after, had to leave work in an ambulance because I started passing a smaller stone that as in the OTHER kidney!  There is no pain in the world that compares to kidney stone pain!  I a, to have some testing done in a few weeks to see what -- besides the RNY itself -- is contributing to it.  I also had a problem with gallstones about a year and a half after surgery, and was one of the roughly 30% of people who have to have their gallbladder removed after RNY.  (That actually applies to all weight loss surgeries, not just RNY.  The kidney stone issue is specific to RNY.)  I also had to have an OPEN surgery to fix a problem with my intestines that was causing intermittent severe pain as a result of my RNY and a subsequent hernia repair.

So, as you can see, this is not a simple surgery that JUST allows you to lose weight and then you are done.  It changes the way your body functions in a number of ways, and often results in various other problems. i sidnt have a problem with this, but people commonly develop stricture s and have to be put "under" to have the surgeon go in with a scope and stretch their stoma (where the pouch attaches to the intestine) back out.  Some have to have it done several times (and they throw up almost everything they eat or drin****il they get it enlarged enough, or get it to STAY enlarged enough).  Since those kinds of things happen weeks or months (or even years) after your surgery, they are not included in the surgical "complications" statistics.

On the other hand, some people have absolutely NO complications related to their RNY.  The problem is, there is no way to predict what someone's experience will be.  Sometimes people who were the most healthy before surgery have terrible problems while people who had a lot of medical problems before surgery have no (or very few) issues afterward. Although being young is an advantage in terms of how likely it is that you will not have so much excess skin that you need plastic surgery after losing the excess weight, age doesn't seem to be a factor in how much hair you lose or what complications you might have.

Lora

Lora,

Thank you so much for taking the time writing to me about this. Seriously, I really appreciate your long informative posts. 

I guess thats whats really bothering me. Altering my body if I dont HAVE to, and thats the thing: I have to figure out, somehow, if I absolutely NEED this surgery.  I have no idea how to do that though.   My biggest fears are complications like yours and have to be worrying 30, 40, 50 years down the road about these things.  

Its especially hard since I really have zero support on my decision to do surgery. My mother is not comfortable with RNY and would prefer I get the lapband. She is of the mindset that the lapband is less invasive and once im "skinny, you can take it out!." Although I know shes wrong, she just doesnt understand that obesity is a disease not necessarily a choice. The only other person that knows about my surgery is my boyfriend and he lives on the other side of the country so it makes it hard to get the physical support I need for this. 

Ever since I posted this I have had an internal struggle that I personally never felt in my life. One minute I'm okay with it, the second I think about it too much.. look at horror stories, and I get extremely anxious.   I have never felt like this in my life!! I am pretty level headed and clear  but this decision has me very conflicted.  Time is ticking and I cant afford to do this without insurance. 

Find a different counselor.  Regardless of whether it is a Licensed Counselor with a Master's degree or a Psychologist with a PhD you shouldn't have to pay NEARLY that much even in a larger city (although in places like New York and LA the charges can be astronomical!)

Lora

I definitely recommend that you talk to a counselor and find out what your issue with food is. After all, its food that got you where you are. Having weight loss surgery is forever. You are committing to changing your body and your lifestyle forever. If you are looking for a quick fix without addressing the root cause of your obesity, then this surgery is not for you. If you are looking for a tool to help you learn to improve your lifestyle and make permanent changes to do that, then go ahead with surgery.  I took over two years and five different doctors to make my decision.  I am almost 35, and a mother of two children.  I started at almost 400 pounds after more than 10 years of losing weight and regaining it. I chose to have surgery because I needed a tool to help me change my habits. I had high blood pressure, sleep apnea, arthritis in both knees and ankles, reflux disease and was pre diabetic. I have strong family history of diabetes on both side of my family as well as heart disease. My health was a loaded gun and my poor lifestyle choices were going to be the trigger.  I want to be healthier so that I can be a better me. More active and able to be the parent and partner I want to be.  Now that I've had surgery and lost almost 100 pounds, I don't regret it one bit.  As for eating "normal" food, I don't even worry about food. I eat to live now, I don't live to eat anymore. That has been very freeing for me.  Food doesn't rule my life anymore. I can still prepare foods that are delicious and are good for me.  My family hasn't had to change their eating habits at all. They eat what I eat, they just eat more of it than I do.  I still bake for my kids, I just don't eat it nor do I crave it.  You might be surprised after surgery, your tastes may change as mine have.  I am almost 6 months out and I am never hungry nor do I have cravings of any kind.  I eat based on need to fuel my body.  Food is no longer my master.  It is your decision to make, it is your life and your body.  I had full support from family and friends but in the end it was up to me to decide what I wanted to do.  Best wishes to you on your journey, no matter where it takes you.

April, great reply.  You understand the process.  Congrats on your weight loss and keep up the good work   Jane

Thank you for your reply. I dont have any medical conditions but im on the road to having them. I'm still conflicted, but praying about it everyday. 

It is very easy to lose the weight but you have no idea of how much hard work it is to keep the weight off and you absolutely HAVE to recognise that the possible downsides of this surgery (vitamin supplementation, possible dumping, RH etc) may be forever ...

UNLESS you are 100 per cent commited, don't do it!   It is wholly possible and very easy to regain after a couple of years but you will always need to take the vitamins and deal with the side effects.   

I think that some surgeons and practices don't screen people enough and quite honestly will give the surgery to anyone with the right health insurance and this is a HUGE problem because not everyone is ready for it or capable of making it work in the long term.   We see those people on here every day ...

Make sure you are 100 per cent committed to losing weight, keeping it off and dealing with the possibility of side effects and responsibilities down the road - if you have any doubts, then I would say postpone or cancel - this is a big deal ...