In HealthyHaileys Defense...

Afternoon all, 

Couldn't help but get caught up in the drama a certain poster seems to be attracting, while I believe that some of the criticism is rightly directed I would be don't the OH community a disservice if I didn't speak my mind.

I think it's only right that I  state "It's here life", her mistakes to make and while her thoughts on how to proceed post op may or may not be misguided there's her's and while they  may not deserve positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement it not going to change her ways. 

Many of us on OH and in life in general suffer from low self esteem, self worth and/or depression and I'm no way saying the poster does but ask yourself how you would feel if a entire community i.e OH turned on you, I for one wouldn't feel to confident going forward. 

These forums are supposed to be a place of comfort , support , knowledge and a place you should be able to make a misguided comment or ask a question most would seem silly. If you personally don't care for the OP thoughts, then by all means don't click on her post.  Name calling and insinuating she's a troll is mean spirited and counter productive. 

It's not our place to remind here the dangers of smoking,  pre or post op Smoking is never a healthy choice.  It's a little late in life to try and instill that.

As for the communities general consensus  that she is depending to much on her surgeons/nuts options I remind you all that they are the medical team assigned to her and like it or not  there responsible for her post op care right or wrong thats the hand she's been dealt and her's alone. 

I think we could all agree people here tend to get wrapped up in comparing and contrasting there personal WLS experience with others, it really is a personal choice, and a road we travel alone, she has to be free to make her own choices, struggle and learn, she should feel comfortable to bounce idea's of those with more experience post op but its up to her take what she will out of the feedback. 

I'm still travailing my own path towards WLS,  Sept 10th being my surgery date so as i hope you can tell from my post I chose not to give any nutritional advice in my post I simply wanted to quell the growing dislike for HealthyHailey and wish her and everyone else here at OH good health, good life and good luck .

Cheers

Kb

How kind of you! This is a public forum, When you ask questions, you have to be prepared to get the good wiht the bad. When you ask for an opinion, you will get it, AS it has been pointed out many times when there is a thread made similar to this it just keeps it going...I also feel it is a disservice if Myself or other vets did not answer honestly, when the honest answer is not liked then all hell breaks lose,I value all the vets here that come here day after  day to try to help any and all . I wish you success on your upcoming surgery, feel free to ask any and all questions, and there is also a great search button in the upper right corner, Denise

I agree.  The forum is supposed to be about support and information.  Negatively is not supportive!  No one should feel his/her problems or concerns are less than any others.  Our journeys may all start with a basic problem of obesity but they will take different paths and encounter individual obstacles along the way. 

With that being said I appreciate all the support, advice and information I have received during the beginning of my journey.  Thanks for being here for me!

Some good points, but when you give advise and she comes back with rude insults and Oh you hurt my feelings, I take offense to what you say attitude. She can certainly di**** out, but can't take it in return. 

Afternoon  Denise

First off that you for your kind words and I agree the veterans here on OH have been a wealth of support, knowledge and strength, 

I think my message may have been a little construed I would never ask the community to stop giving there personal experiences or honest answers whether she cares to take them or not. 

My only concern is the context in which the answers are given. I think HHailey is guilty as well of mean spirited responses(challenging someone reason for having a revision as one example) that being said the tone and volume of responses has changed from honest responses to personal attacks, speculating that she is bound to fail at WLS is not supportive in any way and borders on mean spirited. There is ample examples of this if you take the time and read thru the threads on both sides. The only reason I chose to speak up is the fact that the personal attacks are escalating on both sides.

Lol "why can't we all get along" :)

Happy Saturday!

Keith b

I think you should re read ALL the posts, look at ALL the drama she has caused, we do all get along great till someone starts this type of thread, like the I am deactivating my account, nope, should I eat pizza, nope, I wont have skin issues, nope, my dr and nut are the only ones I  answer to,,nope, on and on, then want us to help her, you cannot help her,! , you have a great afternoon also, going to play with my un judgmental grandbabies, !

Here's the problem as I see it - there are one or two people on here who ask questions (a perfectly legitimate thing to do on a forum) but when the answers don't meet their expectations, rubbish the replies and insult the people who try to help them.

I have posted to Haley several times, both on the board and in PM, and counselled her about what to expect if she continues to post questions in the vein she does - and guess what?  She ignores the GOOD advice and attacks someone personally - not on what they said but the fact they are a revision - so NOT cool!!   What's next?  We start calling each other fat?  

The first time Haley came to significance on the board was her fight with the crazy mother/daughter combo over smoking - again they gave a reply she didn't like and it escalated into personal remarks to each other.

There's a pattern here - both in the people involved and how these threads escalate into **** storms.   It just takes an increase in manners and an understanding of how a forum works (you don't get to choose the answers to your questions) for it all to go away ...  It really is THAT simple!

Oh, and way to amp up the drama, dude - these "why are you all so cruel" posts never go well - they are a sure way to shoo in the drama llama - having said that, welcome to our dysfunctional little family and I hope your surgery goes well next month!!!

"What's next?  We start calling each other fat?"  LMAO.

Lora

Personal attacks include, but are not limited to, name-calling, being hateful, threatening, harassing, insulting, malicious or attacking a member personally rather than challenging a member's views or position in an appropriate and respectful way.  

We appreciate your anticipated cooperation as an ObesityHelp member.   

Thank you,

Member Services

Where am I guilty of

"name-calling, being hateful, threatening, harassing, insulting, malicious or attacking a member personally rather than challenging a member's views or position in an appropriate and respectful way.  

I await your respectful and appropriate reply!