Preparing Mentally for Surgery

Hi.  I'm newish on the boards.  I've been hanging out for the past couple of months, trying to pick up tips in preparation for my surgery.  I started researching this option last summer, had my first consult with my surgeon in October, finished up all my tests in January, and now I'm waiting for my confirmed date.

I imagine my situation is different from most of yours.  I'm an American living in the Middle East.  My surgeon is Canadian and is only in my country a week or so each month.  Some months, he doesn't make it here at all.  Earlier this month, I was told he would be traveling here March 14th and I was on his list of patients for this particular visit.  So, of course, I got all excited and anxious.  His assistant told me he just needed to get her his confirmed schedule and I would know my date.

March 14th came and went, and no doctor.  Then I was told about 10 days ago, he was going to be in country April 4th-15th.  Again, we were waiting for his confirmed schedule.  Yesterday, I learned they were just waiting for him to confirm I was on his roster of patients for this trip (his office sends him a list, but then he has to approve it), and that my likely surgery date would be April 9th or 10th.

I'm glad we're taking baby steps towards a resolution, and I'm hopeful my surgery will indeed be confirmed (if it isn't, I'll be devastated--but I'm fairly healthy [pre-diabetic, otherwise no other issues] and relatively lightweight [BMI of 40.7, I'd like to lose 112 lbs.], so I'm hoping he has no reason to put off my surgery).  But not knowing has made it difficult for me to mentally prepare myself.  I'm reading all I can, watching video diaries of people who have taken their journey, tracking down high protein/low carb recipes, etc.  I've even made an appointment with a hypnotherapist for when I'm home in the States later this summer (I want all the help with willpower I can get).  But it seems unreal to me when I think that in less than two weeks, my life is going to change.

Does anyone have any advice for me?  How did you get yourself ready?

Hi, Karen.  I can only imagine the anxiety of "not knowing" when it is going to happen.  Be strong...the wait will be worth it.

As for how to prepare, here are a few of my suggestions:

• Come to this website and post/read regularly.  These are a great group of people that will be there for you every step of the way.
• Read everything you can on the process.  Find blogs that people have written on their journey.  The more you know, the less frightening the surgery will be.
• Have you prepared your house for this surgery?  Things I found helpful were:  toilet seat riser with handles (the less distance to get down and back up...the better); shower transfer bench (it really helps especially at the beginning when you are going to get tired quick; have your post-op beverages/food ready (it is hard to think about eating after surgery, but that is the best time to start working on new habits).
• Are you able to do any kind of walking right now?  If you can, start your walks now.  The surgeon will most likely say to get up and move as much as possible.  Walking helps get your blood circulating, keeps the lungs working to help deter pneumonia, and actually aids in the healing process.
• Do you have a support group of people local to you that you can call/email/text when you hit a rough patch?  Coming to this page has shown me that I'm not alone in the setbacks.  Reach out to people and tell them what you need.  Now is the time to take care of yourself.

If you prepare things ahead of time and get the above things worked out, I believe that will alleviate some of your mental stress related to this process.  Nobody said this would be easy, but it is sooooo worth it.

Keep us posted and feel free to email me anytime you need someone to vent with. :)

Thanks, Vicky.  Your advice is thoughtful and very kind.  I appreciate it.

Considering what you have told us, he must have patients where you live and should have a support group that you could have access to.  Or, maybe you could start one.  The other idea that I would consider is to go to Canada or the US for the surgery.  I'm sure that it is frustrating for you.  

I'm not sure he has a support group per se.  I'm guessing (and I don't know this for certain) that most of his patients are locals, because he operates out of the public hospital.  Most Western expats frequent the private hospitals instead.  Medical/behavioral support groups aren't really done here, as these kinds of problems are seen as private and not something you'd share with those outside your family.

I'd debated about coming home for the surgery, but I really wanted to work with the same team for follow-up.  While the surgeon is only here part -time, he has associates here who will be doing the post-op work.  I've lived in this region now for nearly two years and don't plan to go back to the U.S. for some time.  While in theory I could try and work out some kind of arrangement where my case was handed off from the U.S. to here, I think I'll have better care if I stay with the same medical team from pre-op to post-op.

Thanks for the idea though.