Single post-op ladies: Would you date an obese man?

Nope. I would not date a morbidly obese man. A crack addict should not date another crack addict. I could be tempted to get off track. Plus as you said, the attraction would not be there for me, either, nor do I want to be his food police.

When I met my boyfriend 23 years ago, he was a tall super-thin basketball player. I was the same size i am now. We were best friends. Fast forward a few years, and I became overweight. He fell in love with me during that time. i did not love myself when I was overweight and felt we did not look like we belonged together. I broke up with him. Fast forward 15 years and I looked for him and found him. He is now about 50 pounds overweight, but I am as attracted to him as I ever was. The connection was already there. I do get onto him about his health, but he is working on it.

Well, I wouldn't NOT date him just because he was obese ...  ie, if everything else were there, his weight alone wouldn't be a dealbreaker.  His lifestyle might be ...

I am attracted to young, tall, buff men with lots of tattoos - however, I have only dated/married one guy taller than me (my boyfriend) have never dated/married anyone I would call buff and have never dated/married a man that had more tattoos than me ...

I am extremely attracted to my boyfriend who is 7 years older than me, is 5 inches taller than me (woo hoo) and weighs about 100lbs more than I do!  He is the sexiest man on earth to me because he's my intellectual match, my socio/political match and did I mention he's 6ft 5 .    Oh, and he absolutely adores me ...  (that's a pretty big deal too).

Only you can decide if his obesity is a dealbreaker - when weighed against all his other attributes ...

That's funny you mention tattoos and not dating a guy who had more then you, I have never dated a guy who had any tattoos ever.  And I love sleeves, big beefy guys covered in tattoos are what I think is hot, with shaved head and a big chest.  Okay I will take this one for instance.  lol

I would... 

When I married my husband he was 5'10 and weighed about 170.  He gained weight through the years and ended up at about 220.  He passed away and I met my current boyfriend who was 6' and 190 pounds.  Now he weighs about 220.  Maybe something about me makes men relax and gain weight.  I was 5'2 and 128 pounds when I met both of them. 

I see right past weight and look for kindness, intelligence, and good character.  Weight is something that could be changed by surgery, diet, and exercise.  My husband would start exercise programs and diets with me, but always feel off the wagon.  He would continue to be my cheerleader.  If the person is right for you, they will make your life better.  That is the important thing, not physical appearance.

Depends on their personality and such but more than likely, No, why? I have never found myself to be attracted to overweight guys. Even at my heaviest I was never into big guys. My husband is 6'3 and 190 lbs. This is the biggest he has ever been he was   too skinny when we first met but he loved me for me, weight and all. He was miserable in his last relationship and just hadn't gained the weight back that he lost. He got comfortable with me and picked it back up and I find him even more attractive now then I did then. I would probably be like you are now Nik, especially after making such a huge commitment to our health to not want to be with someone who could derail you. My mother in law gained about 60 lbs back because of being with my father in law, shes depressed and finds herself snacking more when watching tv with him because its there. They eat out alot. Someone else being in your life can affect it in ways you wouldn't imagine.  Just because of the risk to my health alone, I wouldn't date him. 

Too much of a chance of "monkey see, monkey do". 

I am not single but I want to answer.   My boyfriend is thick and I love thick just not on me, I would never date a thin man ever again, I find them physically unappealing.  My ex-husband was tall and thin and he was borderline even back when I was 16 I was more interested in beefcake then beefstick.  Marrying him was the worst mistake of my life, and started my weight ballooning upwards.  I think I gained 50lbs the first year we were married and of course he tormented me with little snide comments.  But once I was MO I never could get back under that magic 200lb mar****il I had wls 20 years later.  When I divorced him thin men went with him, I never dated another since and hes not so thin anymore now that he is 50.  He keeps telling me how great I look when I speak to him (which is only when I have too) and I tell him how old and grey he looks.  lol  Yup I hate him and I am mean.  Sue me.  lol

Wasn't it Dr. Oz who so prophetically stated that for every 15 pounds a man loses he gains an inch in perceived penis length?  Not so much that the penis actually gets longer, but that losing the fat at the base of the penis exposes it's true length.  And I know some will proclaim it's not the size of the ship, but the motion of the ocean.  But truthfully, I want a cruise ship, not a rowboat!  Bring on the trim man!

I wouldn't choose to date an obese man.  I am attracted to physically fit men, regardless of their weight.  And I have yet to find a super obese man who is phsyically fit. By having WLS I took the actions necessary to change myself and the outcome of my life; I don't want to jeopardize that by what, in my opinion, is taking a step backwards, instead of forward. 

But that's just me...and it's a wonderful world where we all get to have differing wants and desires.  Otherwise I would have to get all up in the grill of the women who would be salivating after my man ~grin~

If that were true, we'd all be dating guys who had WLS!   150lbs lost?  Woo hoo!!!

It's actually only true for an inch or two so I doubt you'll find any hidden cruise ships LOL!

   My best friend's cousin was married to a guy who was 7'2".  You can do the math.  When he passed away she knew she was screwed and I don't mean literally, because she knew sex was never ever ever going to be the same for her!!!! In spite of her loss, she had a wonderful sense of humor about it.  But yes, he was everything and more!  OMG.......

I want to tell you a story from long long ago.  Back in the 1970's when Playgirl magazine made its debut on the stands I bought one and shared it with my mother.  Now before you all go what????? Your mom??????? We were grown married women and my mother had never seen anything like this.  Anyway, Dad was not at home and mom sat at the dining room table and flipping through every page and going "oh my" over and over .  Then she looked me right in the face and said "your father has lied to me all these years."  Meaning I am assuming he told her he was gifted and when she saw the pics, she saw differently.  Bless her.  I laugh to this day when I think of that.  Mom was a dear, dear woman and loved to laugh and that is what we did.  Boy, do I ever miss her!   Jane