Who are you now that you have lost weight?

Hi Lora,

This is wonderful and hopeful for me to read. I am in England and have been talking with my therapist. She was asking what studies have been done thus for into the areas of which you are researching and learning about. In England, there is still quite a bit of stigma around therapy and getting help from a professional. Of course, I am from California-so one of the first things I did when I moved to England-over 4 years ago (just got my citizenship) was to get a councilor. I went through some major depression and felt really alone-obviously-when I first moved here.

I have a whole book I could write, but no need. Just to say I am very pleased to see the direction your journey and abilities have taken you and HOPE that we see more folks in the future start looking at the correlations indeed.

 

Cheers,

T

 

Hello All:

 

I started my mission at 432 lbs a little over a year ago.  Now I am 220 and am a little lost.  People I have know my whole life dont recognise me and I dont get that, I dont feel any different but apparently I look different.  I know that i am smaller than I was and am not the fattest person on the room anymore on one hand and on the other I still feel like I am.  So I guess you could say i am a little lost.  As for the dressing thing I am totally not wearing the clothes that i used too.  I am flashing skin and i am proud of myself!

How much did I love that you used the word "Mission" rather than Journey?!?! I LOVE it!! It is a MISSION and there are no two ways about that.

 

I think it's fantastic that you are flashing some skin and feeling good about it. It shows a very healthy side to where you are! Congrats on your success!!

 

Peace,

T

I was not always morbidly obese.  As a teen I was an average size (135lbs) and didn't become obese until after my children were born.  I was an emotional eater and went through a horrid 1st marriage, which is where I gained the weight.  I was always exhuberant and outgoing, but that first marriage was a mentally abusive one, so the real me went into hiding.  Even after divorcing him and finding a wonderful new hubby, the new patterns had taken hold and the real me hid even deeper.

Now that I've had the surgery and the weight is coming off, I'm finding that the old, TRUE, me is coming back out; better and stronger than before.  I love clothes shopping and finding the style that truly fits my personality is so much fun!  My husband, children, and best friend are great support systems, along with the support group from my bariatric center.

I do feel lost sometimes when I'm shopping in the regular sized clothing section.  It's so foreign to me.  But, as time goes by it's getting better.  I'm almost to my goal, which is to be at 135lbs for my daughters wedding in August and I look forward to shopping for an awesome mother of the bride dress!

Hi Rebecki!

Your history is similar to mine in that you were not an obese kid. I was between 135 and 145 as a teen and though I was a whale of course! I gained about 100 lbs the first year I moved away at 17-18 years old. Then another 100 lbs when I had my son (before my 19th birthday). That took me right up to 300 plus lbs!

It sounds amazing as you find your old and true self coming back. I am watching for signs and I think as I mentioned in my video that I am just catching the beginning glimpses. I don't know if I will ever be the old me, or the new/old improved me??

 

Thanks for your post!

Peace

T

Oh boy did I go back and forth with this one.  You know when i was 450+  pounds i was invisible.  Now that I am smaller, I get noticed.  At first this was just cool!  Men held open doors for me.  When i was big, they didnt even see me and certainly never held a door for me.  People smile back and say hello.  I could have been wearing a flashing neon hello sign before and most would avoid eye contact with me, men and women.  When I would go out with friends, I was the funny girl but other than that, I was largely ignored.  Sometimes, I really miss that.  I dress conservatively at work.  That hasn't stopped some of the comments that have come about how I dress or who I am trying to impress.  When the girls and I go out, I get noticed.  Only I don't know what to say because it's never happened to me!!  So i feel like a deer in the headlights kind of awkwardness.    I live in a small town so it was impossible to keep my surgery secret.  The backlash from people has been shocking.  People are actually praying and betting against me!  lol.  At first I found this shocking, then amusing, and now it's just annoying.  People who used to be comfortable around me, now are acting different.  It can be isolating and lonely at times.  HOWEVER, it can also be fun.  Some of my high school classmates have actually asked who I was married to in the class.  They had no idea it was me.  Getting noticed by men isnt all bad when you are single.  I haven't found anyone yet, but it is nice to know I am attractive to some people.  lol.  I have had to pull back a little bit after just coming out there loud and proud.  I am more careful about who i keep in my inner circle.  And that's okay.  It's a balance issue for me.  One I needed to learn.

What has changed about me that I love, is my sense of daring and adventure!  Go-carting?  Heck yeah!  Water parks?  Amusement rides?  Jumping out of an airplane?  okay maybe not the last one.  But a whole new world has opened for me.  And I love that.  Mostly I love being able to move!  Without pain.  I love being healthy and doing things with my kids.  I love being able to work and support myself.  Have I changed?  In many ways.  :)

OOOH Lady Myst, I loved your post!

 

It really made me smile! It won't be long till you jump out of an airplane I suspect! LOL!

 

You give a good view of the changes we go through inside the change-if that makes sense. First you were WAY out there, then you toned it down a bit, but now you are finding the things you absolutely love to do and ways you love to be and no one will stop you!

You sound like you are on a very positive track to me and it's a lovely thing to see!! Much success and happiness to you!

Peace,

T

 

Im far more outgoing now that I dont live under the constant worries and anxieties of going new places and thinking about seating arrangements, walking distance, etc. Im more ME...I dont hide my personality from others anymore. I havent gone crazy but am really just beginning to go out and live instead of watch from the sidelines. I never allowed dating to be an option and now Im taking the first scary steps into it and Im looking forward to it..well Kind of LOL. 

Hi Sarah,

Oh gawd, you reminded me of the seating issues. YES! Actually-I think I do speak about my ghost butt in my video and it's alive and well! LOL! I still do slide to the side to "Fit" through small spaces!

I hope you enjoy those moments where you find yourself stepping out instead of in. It's what all these changes we made and make each day are for!!

 

Congrats and thanks for your post!

Peace,

T

Funny you say that about being sassy! I too was very sassy and on too of my ame. Just a few weeks ago someone that I've known for a long time had the nerve to tell me that I seem. "Lost" and I've lost my edge! NOT TRUE! I still dress up, do my hair and make up most the time unless I'm at home cleaning my house. The only difference I've noticed is that I don't really care what others think of me, I'm not trying to hide behind anything or impress anyone. I'm still just me and just as. "Sassy".