X-Post-What if this IS the normal? What if regain and bounceback are PART of our successful...

Hey Miss Redd, I am a new post op, 4 months or so, and I am so glad for this post and for the questions it raises.  I am very glad you will be posting on here because I want to keep questioning the definition of "success" and I agree that the self loathing frightens me.  My experiences is that the self loathing leads to disaster and I had even considered cutting back on my OH time to avoid those trains of thought.  But it is a major support for me so I stay.  Everyone is different and perhaps for some the strong emphasis on weight and calories is helpful.  but for me, it is DISASTROUS.  Obviously I want to lose weight and keep it off (or I wouldn't have had my intestines re-routed) but I do not want to become obsessive about 10 pounds, or even 30.  I do not want my worth to be defined by my weight.  It is a tricky balance but I am determined to find it.  Thank you for your post! 

Hi Louise,

I think it's fantastic that you are trying to look at the big picture. It's not easy and there are loads of fears which can come up for us. You are so right about understanding where YOU need to focus for your own sanity. It is a delicate dance we go through, but I firmly believe if long-term folks start really speaking up and out-we will see a clearer picture, which can only benefit those who are just starting out!!

Thanks again!!

Peace,

T

Hello,

I am on my 2nd month toward my 6 month requirement pre-op for my insurance.  I so appreciate your honesty about what happens post-op.

I know at one time in my life,several years ago, I lost 125 lbs. and kept it off for about 5 years.  Then I got remarried, pregnant and gained 80 lbs. during pregnancy.   I never lost anymore, I just kept gaining. I truly was embarrassed for any of my friends whom I had acquired while 125 lbs. smaller, to see me now.  I even would hide in the grocery store when I would see them.  How silly was that?  I even had a classmate from school see me after my weight gain that commented,"Wow, why did you let yourself gain all that weight back?, You looked so good".  I wanted to crawl under something at that moment.  Obviously she has never had a weight problem. 

I really think a support group is needed for people *****gain.  Especially with WLS.  I haven't had mine yet, but I have been reading experiences of what you go through afterwards.  It totally makes sense. I think this post-op you should be required to go to support groups and have follow-ups to help you adjust to the new you.

Thanks:)

Hi Kecldr,

It's such a great thing to see someone like you, at the beginning-really taking things in and taking such responsibility for your knowledge and preparation.

I totally understand the having lost weight and regaining it. I did the same thing previous to my surgery! I want into the mini-market and the man behind the desk said "Wow!! You sure got fat!! You used to look so good!" *Faints*

I hope more of us continue to come and speak out, and that absolutely includes those of us who are pre-op!! What a great chance to be prepared and help direct your ongoing success!

These feelings we have, they are real and they will crop back up. The further out I get the more insane it seems that an emphasis is not put on post op life as it is for pre-op! Of course, there are many support groups out there, which is great. But I am talking more about the medical community, as well as the professional health community.

I love your post and I will look forward to reading more from you!

Peace,

T

I am a year out from surgery and one of those people that strayed away from OH while doing well, had am emotional collapse and stopped visiting, and am now back here and getting back on track.  I realize that if at a year out I already had a struggle that if I don't get my head in the right place things will only get harder for me the farther out I get.  I wish that my program had emphasized counseling after surgery.  I had the nutritionist counseling until 10 months post-op, but I mean REQUIRE counseling.  I am now working through my food issues like I should have been doing a year ago.  I am glad that the people 4+ years out are posting so we can see what we may be dealing with when we get there.  I am not one of those people who can be super rigid in my routine/eating.   I think that each of us have to decide for ourselves how to measure our personal success.  As someone already said, it might not be what they originally set out to accomplish, but where they are might be ok for them, where someone else may 'need' to be at a certain weight to feel like their WLS was a success.  I can't wait to see what others think and I agree that we should be talking about it.  Thank you for opening up the conversation.