X-Post-What if this IS the normal? What if regain and bounceback are PART of our successful...

Hi all,

I've been spending lots of time reading various message boards regarding regain and weight loss surgery long-term. And of course-I have spent the last 6 years as a post op.

It's the very reason why I recently decided to come back to OH and also to open a new VLOG on You Tube. I have been studying and analyzing what many of us go through post op. So much emphasis is put on Pre Op. It's Pre-op nutrition and Pre-op therapist. Its all about what we NEED to do before. There is NO Mandatory counseling for post ops, and if it is-it is very, very short term.

There are some other points I have been pondering as well, like what happens to our minds, hearts and souls when we see regain. It's extremely traumatic and it's not something others who have not been down this road would understand. There seems to be a tendency to really get fatalistic about the changes, bounce backs-etc.  Let me rephrase that I FELT really fatalistic about regain.

So, I started to really look at what regain means. What does regain mean and what about bounce back? What about how large we were when we started out? What about our age? What about our health? And just what DOES the medical profession know about what it's like for us and what we CAN expect?

Yes, some folks do have complete and utter regain. But also, some folks have bounce back weight and they start to fight their bodies on desperately getting to the original "Goal weight". What do we know about how the body works regarding our "lowest weight" and the weight we end up at??

What is my healthy weight is 170? What if my healthy weight is 130? Or maybe it's 190?? Exactly who has the true answer? My surgeon said anything near 200 would be a miracle! But then there was this doctor I saw one other time that said I should lose like 40 more, because BMI and what not. And then there was that nurse who said if I lifted canned food or water bottles  could lose some of that "fat" on my upper arms. That was AFTER I told her I lost over 200 lbs from Gastric Bypass. See what I mean? Bit scary isn't it?

What if we allow ourselves to start taking a long hard look at what success is? Is our whole post op life supposed to be about "Look, I'm not eating. Now I'm eating. I'm eating x amount of calories. Oh I lost weight. Oh I gained weight. I'm a success! I'm a failure..because of the weight.."

I'm seeing a lot of self-loathing on the boards. That is where I think the danger is. The danger for me was the self hate and horror I felt when I saw the scale go up. At first I cried and freaked out. I so despaired about it. But then-I remembered once again that it was ME that lost the weight in the first place and it would be me to do it again-if that is what I wanted to do. And all of this due to 15 pounds!!!!??? That's when I had a little talk with myself and started to do the research.

My weight has stabilized and my heart and mind are still continuing to adjust to the massive change I went through! Part of me even wondered if I set myself up to focus on bounce back weight, so that I would not have to continue to focus on the discomfort I have felt in a new smaller body.

I have committed to myself to start talking and sharing again. I could NOT believe how many folks totally have "disappeared" from the boards, from You Tube and other places. And I have found that most of the time when people come back, they come back all apologetic. Like they need to be ashamed and have been "bad". What the hell is that all about???? Post op is POST OP and we are the Post Op reality. I understand folks who may be pre-op may be a bit frightened to think about what can and OFTEN does happen with weight fluctuation. I know I used to be super freaked out by it.

But really, if I am reading my research correctly-we are the NORM!! Haha-that's the funny part! SOME regain is NORMAL. And to lose regain IS possible too!! Some bodies are happy to stay on the larger side of their normal, whilst others will go super petite. OK then!

I would love to see some of these places that have to turned to post op ghost towns come alive again with people working it out together. I have uploaded a few videos, with the latest one being a review of why I had gastric bypass and what I am thinking these days. I want to invite anyone who wants to share to please come and do so. Either in writing or video.

We ARE a community-it's just that I suspect there are lots of folks in their closets so-to-speak. What if this turns out to simply be part two of our SUCCESSFUL journey?? Show me the PROOF that says MOST people stay at their lowest weight and never struggle. It's a lie. We may already be a winner! 

Here is my latest video, I've stuck a few pictures in it as well. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LXZSWPtwoNo

I plan to stick around.

Peace,

T

I do not believe in the theory of “bounce back weight”. Every post I have ever read about this most feared event is that the person who has experienced it has also admitted to eating too much, indulging in trigger foods, etc. 

I am one of the fortunate ones who have never experienced a stall during the weight loss phase. I lost 200 pounds in 20 months. I am very diligent in my eating plan and I have never swayed from the rules. I am accountable to myself for every morsel that enters my mouth. Since I have worked so hard to lose 200 pounds, I put just as much effort into maintaining this loss.

I also want to add, I have never been able to participate in a formal exercise program due to Rheumatoid Arthritis and Osteoarthritis. I am a Lacto-Ovo Vegetarian. 

I eat 2000 calories a day. I eat 3 main meals plus protein snacks. I eat every 2 to 3 hours a day. I allow myself a 5 pound range for normal weight fluctuation. In fact, if I wanted to lose more weight (which I don’t), I can still do so. 

Don’t live in fear of the what if’s! Go forward following the rules and enjoy your new life. Just understand this is a lifestyle change. New experiences and discoveries await you! Enjoy each moment of your day and take time to smell the roses! 

Thanks for your post!! You've done very well in 2 years. As a matter-of-fact, I also lost all my weight in less than 2 years (over 200 lbs). 

What I am saying is that we are yet to know for fact if bounce back is "theory" or more. It's too soon and research is still very limited. If you stay completely closed off to the ideas and possibilities out there-then it is possible you will be incredibly hard on yourself "if" you end up gaining weight.

Even your arthritis issues are similar to mine. 

What I want to stay open to is allowing myself to hear other people's experiences. Your post could have been mine at 2 years out. I think if you read my blog-there might even be one like that in there.

I think you are doing fabulous and you sound like you are on a good path for sure.

However, I don't want to minimize what others have gone through further out. I can't. They are all part of the long-term Post Op Crowd-which means they are part of the reality. 

I do smell the roses and if you read my blog, you will see I have lived an amazing life from going from nearly 400 lbs to 180-after six years.

Let's give everyone a chance to share their experiences. Two years is great and you still have a very long road ahead. You are correct-this IS a lifestyle change. It's also a LIFE change...which means it's pretty difficult and possibly unrealistic to make such vehement statements so early on. 

Again-I trust you will do great and possibly have no bounce back or regain-but so many others have. It's not about shutting down the conversation, even though it's uncomfortable indeed. It's about opening the door-as it may just help those starting out when they get this far down the road.

Thanks and Continued success to you,

Peace,

T

Clearly you are a great success and inspiration and I know, one of the very supportive members of this board.

However ...  At two years post op you really have not got into a stage where bounceback or regain would happen to you anyway - whatever you were doing!

Maintenance gets harder the further we are out from surgery and I'm sure there were many of us at 2 years out that thought we had this whole WLS and maintenance thing licked!   I agree that you are more likely not to have a problem because you are very rigid, but never say never!!!!!

Not everyone who experiences regain is eating poorly - some just haven't formulated a lifestyle that fits them - they haven't found the balance between what they can eat and what they should eat.    If you are still able to eat 2000 calories a day when you are maintaining in your 60's,  with no exercise,  I will bow down to you cos I'll bet there are a lot of 20 and 30 year olds on here that will NEVER be able to do that!

"Mega Like Button" for you, Kim! Yes. This is in part what I am saying. 

I totally agree, Kim!! At 2 years out it was still easy for me, too. Then things got tougher and I had to re-adjust.

This one gets a great big "LIKE" from me as well Kim.

At two years out we start to sometimes feel like long term post-ops.  We're not.  At four plus years out I personally still do not feel very far out.

And my personal bounce back/regain/whatever didn't really come on with a vengeance until towards the end of year three.  I was waiting for it - but that hasn't made it easier.  I had already made the decision not to starve myself to get it back off.  A net loss after bounce back of 150 lbs plus or minus is good enough for me.

Of course, I'm 49 years old.  I'm a Gramma as of last year. I don't want to worry about what I eat all time.  If I did, I'm sure I could lose the bounce back and then some.  But I got this surgery to come back to "normal".  And for me "normal" doesn't mean counting each calorie or logging each food eaten.  Did that while dieting.  Now I just want to live.  And if I'm a size 12/14  instead of a size 10/12 because of my philosophy, I have no problem with that.

Miss Redd your project interests me.  I'm anxious to see what types of responses you're gonna get.  Thanks for sharing this stuff with us=)

  and

Never underestimate the power of "normal" and "healthy" even if it doesn't mean "skinny"!!!

Lora

Hey Amy!

For some reason I didn't get notified of your post! I bet it fell under another post for some reason. I just read it and totally appreciate what you are saying! I did not come this far to live through drudgery and feel paranoid about it. Yes, I do want to be watchful and I am for sure-but to have deep misery for 20 lbs, no. Just no.

I am also a size 14!

Thanks again,

Peace,

T

I will be 3 years out on 3/22/2013.

I would never discount the fact that as time goes on, maintenance can or will become harder. Nor do I look down on anyone who may gain weight whether it is a small or large amount. I can only speak for myself and my life experiences. I do believe I can take charge of my habits and have a good amount of control on my results.

I  have always struggled with my weight and was actually anorexic at one point in my early thirties. I maintained the weight I am now for 10 years (from 35 years old to 45 years old).

I started gaining weight after a tumultuous 6 year relationship with a man trying to beat alcohol and drug addiction, the onset of menopause, and the debilitating effects of Arthritis.

I came from an emotionally, physically, and sexually abused childhood from both parents. I was raped in my late teens by someone I knew. My family tree is filled with super morbidly obese relatives. I have been through a lot. I also decided the “buck stops here” and chose to be in counseling for many years to deal with the “demons” that tried to hold me captive to the past.

I know myself and my limitations. When I began this journey, I felt I was fully prepared mentally for any challenge I would come across. I put in a lot of time doing research, and I continue to educate myself as time goes on.

I am not naive enough to say “never” or “forever”. What I will say is “perhaps”...