3 Weeks Post-op, No Support

A week and a half after my surgery, my girlfriend started getting jealous after surgery and broke up with me. Now, we were having a few issues before surgery, but everything was going well a couple months going into surgery and up to a few days after.

She kept saying things like, oh now you are losing weight you are going to leave me and you think you are better than me. She kept saying this over and over, and finally we got into a huge argument about it, and like that, the relationship was over. I left and came to NY to stay with a friend, (because I had no close friends or family in NY****il I can get myself together again and go back to MN.

I am away from my clinic, where I am here, support groups have been hard to locate. I have managed to locate one, but the next meeting is on 02/20. It has only been 3 weeks, and I am going nuts here. Although I am losing weight quickly, and I am changing fast, I am just not happy. I am struggling to eat 3 meals a day, and get my water in. I know I need to because I really can't afford to be sick away from my medical care. I am lost OH friends.

Hang in there.  It was about 3 weeks that I was an emotional wreck.  I was mad at the world or mad at myself.  There are lots of support groups on facebook.  Maybe you can also use them until you find some face to face groups? 

I am very sorry you are having such a tough time! Your ex is certainly selfish!

That being said, you are in a good place as you have your friend you are staying with, have located a support group and reached out here! That is success right there!

I have not had surgery yet, myself, in  fact I just had my psych eval today.

Please hang in there and keep doing your best. I'm sure you understand the importance of your water and protein. I plan on constant sipping! But I don't have a clue what it's like to be where you are.

Wishing you well.

 

Sandy

You've come to the right place on OH. This is a good place for support until you can go to yours on the 20th. Keep coming here! You'll get a lot of support.

I'm sorry your having such a rough time. But we are all here for you, but first and foremost..you need to take care of you. Get all your water and vits and food in. It's important!! Wishing you the best and sending lots of hugs!!!

 

~Megan~

First, congrats on your weight loss so far.  You do have support - right here.  We're all going through stuff.  I think this is your girlfriend's problem, sounds like she is very insecure or else she was just looking for a reason to leave.  How long were you together?  Is she heavy?  I'm very lucky that my husband is supportive although he wasn't at first.  Now he' s seeing that (this time) I am really losing.  He's also starting to eat more healthy food - he could stand to lose 40 pounds.  Maybe she wasn't willing to change with you or to give up the food times you had together?

I suggest you get back to your doctor and try to look forward to a new you!!

She has struggled with weight. A couple years ago she lost 100 lbs, but has since gained 30 back recently. We were together for 2 years. She does have her insecurities, but she was the number one supporter of me getting the surgery, even when I didn't want to. Now the surgery is changing me, and it was the enemy. I just do not get it.

Hello fellow Minnesotan! I see your clinic has MyChart, which allows you to email with your healthcare providers. I email my nutritionist this way often. It is great for non-emergency questions and support from your medical team. If you aren't signed up for that, I recommend doing so! Even if you aren't here to see them, you can at least stay connected that way. I am curious, with you only 3 weeks out, how you plan to handle your follow up appts, being so far away. I ask out of concern!

Emotions are wacky right after surgery. Stay in touch here on OH, reach out to the friends you have near you, and attend that support group in a few weeks. Hang in there - you'll get through this!

Amy

It looks like we are only a few days apart from surgery dates. Add me as a friend. I check the forums often. I will be more then happy to be some support man. Hang in there. We are going through an emotional rollercoaster. At least you knew enough to get away from something toxic. Focus on you. Its all about you right now! Maybe she will come to her senses and talk it out with you. If not move along it sucks to say but your doing this to make yourself better....not just look good but also to be healthy if she can except the fact that you want to be healthy and not drop dead from being over weight ....then maybe its time to move on. I had a few discussions with my wife before the surgery and I assured her by saying...if you loved me as a fat slob why would I leave you when I was healthy?

Hi Tony,

First of all, as others have said, you have come to the right place for support. Second of all, what is meant to be will be. Right now your priority should be taking care of yourself and adjusting to your new lifestyle. (Which by the way takes a lot of work...you will hardly have time to focus on much else until you get a set regime ...) Which brings me to:

You may come across many people in your past and present who will either accept and support your decision or tear you down and make you feel bad about it. This is NOT about them, it is about YOU. You can't worry about other people's insecurities or twisted views. Regarding the girlfriend, though it is sad to hear, better she leave now than later on down the road. You cannot focus on that right now. Take this time to connect with the wonderful people here on OH. There are many great supporters on this site. I certainly am grateful I found it and I check in almost daily (though I randomly chime in or reply to posts). Tons of great information. I hope you connect with a great face to face support group and in the mean time connect with some of the wonderful people here on OH.

Best of luck to you and Congrats on your weight loss to date! Stay focused and take care of yourself! You will need all of that mental strength for the road ahead but it is certainly worth it!

Happy New Year, Happy new YOU! Be blessed.

Shenese