relationship issues need advice

I tend to agree with you.  When people have difficult issues with partners, spouses, family, whoever....it is natural to get one side of the argument.  Well it is a two way street so while I'm not saying that anyone is at fault here, it is normal to be one sided when talking about the offensive partner.  The OP does need to exam her actions as well.  

Wow, first let me be honest and say I have huge issues of my own, but #1. If anyone invades my privacy like your hubby has done to you, I go @$&! Nuclear on their @sses. If an SO did it, they get the lecture of a lifetime, one chance and then a free trip to the curb. 

I guess you feel obligated to work it out? I'm more of a selfish creature personally.  My response would be more, 'I don't need your drama. You don't own or control anything about me or the choices I make, after you sort out your problem, get back to me.'  There's being supportive of your SO and then there is giving up your identity to your SO; and his actions seem more controlling to me than simple jealousy.  But again, I have my own issues that shape my thought process. I just know your post made me feel very uncomfortable for you and concerned about your well being.

best of luck!

I hate to say but I am having the EXACT same issue.  My husband (of 16 years) has become very jealous!  I will be sitting on the couch a text or alert will come into my phone and he will as who it is, I tell him and then he accuses me of lying! WTH???  Apparently when I tell him I'm going to the gym that "not really where I'm going"??? 

I should have know from the start when I made the decision to have the surgery and he said that he thought that it would be the end of us that this was coming.....

He seems to be gaining the weight I'm loosing, has lost all motivation and complains that I'm not attracted to him anymore.  It not that its that all the accusations and jealousy is really starting to stress me out!

I'm sure we need counseling or he is right it will be the end of us!  But really I feel that this is more his issue than mine.....

ah man, after 16 years that's his response!? I'm so sorry. Sounds like he thinks you settled for him and he made a decision about where you each stand in your relationship without consulting you first.  Honest opinion? Get him to therapy. He sounds depressed, since before your surgery, and that may be more his personal demons coming to fray than your life changes. It sounds like your achievements were just his excuse to stop trying and make you the convenient scape goat. 

If you're a religious person, maybe bringing an elder or priest in may help?  But yes, I'd definitely start toying with the idea of therapy. Sometimes just having a neutral third parties opinion can do wonders. I'm not a therapist, but I have great respect for them. I hope you guys get some insight that helps you.