Merry Christmas....dealing with some mixed emotions this Christmas.

I have always loved Christmas.  I love spending time with my family and seeing everyone.  It was a time to enjoy and eat.  I come from a big Italian family so the eating starts on Christmas eve and just continues all day Christmas.  Now things are different.  My dad passed away 5 years ago right before Christmas, I can honestly say he was my best friend.  We worked together every day for 25 years.  So Christmas is different.  I finally get he passing under my belt (kind of...you never get over it you just learn to live with it) I decide to have surgery and start working on "me".  Do I regret it, NEVER! I am doing this for my daughter, I am doing this for me, I want to live and if I continued the way I was going my daughter would not have a mother.  So please, know, I do not regret this.  But it does make Christmas different.  I'm having a really hard time adjusting.  On top of all of this, my husband who has been SO supportive of me and this journey has said over and over lately "Your so lucky, you can eat a little and then just stop" I dont find this EASY.  This is hard.  I finally told him yesterday, please stop saying that..its not easy.  I hope he remembers, because if he says it again, I'm not sure if I can be held responsible for my actions :)

Merry Christmas everyone. 

Dina

Dina, I sure do understand what you're going through.  I'm sorry your dad is no longer with you; you're right, you never get over it, but you just learn to live with the fact someone you love is no longer there.

I've always loved Christmas, too.  I enjoy shopping for other people, baking for other people (and in the past, for myself!), and I enjoy getting together with family.  Before WLS, it was just an accepted time to eat without being concerned about what or how much.  Now, post-op, it's a whole different ballgame!

I'm having some trouble today.  I did a little baking last week, and again over the weekend, more out of tradition than anything else.  I've always baked sugar cookies and decorated them to take to Christmas dinner with all the extended family, so I just felt like I wanted to do that this year.  I didn't expect to have much of a problem, because I haven't eaten sweets in months and months, since long before my surgery (which was on 9/13/12, btw), and so I've lost the craving.  Unfortunately, I've given in and nibbled on a few cookies along the way.  Today is even harder; my mom died on Christmas Eve 1980.  After all these years, it doesn't usually bother me too much, but for some reason this year it'**** me hard, and boy, do I want cookies!

You're right:  there is NOTHING easy about this!  Hang in there; it'll be over soon (thank goodness.)

Beth

I am sorry about your Dad!  :(.  Christmas is the same here... just one giant eat until you feel sick fest... I am actually happy it wont' be able to be that way for me anymore... I am attempting this year to change it up a bit and next year will be completely different....

Change the focus from food to enjoying everyones company.  I know its not easy...its never easy!  But you are DOING IT!  and your doing it well...be easy on yourself enjoy the holiday and your family!

So sorry for the loss of your dad, especially this time of year.  For me, this is the 3rd xmas since wls and I focus on the company of others instead of the food.  I do enjoy Christmas dinner and use my creativity with food, ironically enough.  I am a home chef now and enjoy trying new things and I've gotten quite good at it.  I enjoy watching others enjoy the creations I've made and I try new things often.  Most of the time, it's a hit but sometimes, there's a miss.  It satisfies me now to eat only a little bit of each thing (I can eat anything now, just MUCH less) and I take my time eating and tasting everything. 

Good luck in your journey.  It does take time, but you will become accustomed to your new lifestyle.

Mallisa

I understand the mixed feelings. I'm 2 weeks PO and I'm having a hard time getting into the holiday at all. It's usually a time of year I really enjoy, but a lot of factors this year have contributed to me just not being into it at all. I haven't even put up our tree or any decorations. I just feel like....I'm too tired to cook, can't eat it anyway, I have a head cold on top of recovering from surgery and I feel lousy, $$ is crazy tight for us right now because I'm not working, my partner's mother died a little over a year ago and we are still grieving (it's harder at the holidays). Lastly, we were supposed to fly down to FL and visit my family for the holiday, but we had to cancel the tickets because of my surgery and not being able to fly for at least 3-4 weeks afterwards. My crazy, annoying aunt has invited herself over tomorrow morning, I don't have a gift for her (nor the energy/money to figure one out) and the house is a wreck b/c I feel like crap and my partner's been working 60+ hours/week lately.

At first, I was upset with myself and trying to bully myself into getting into the holiday and getting everything done as usual, but it was making me feel more sad and negative, so I've decided to give myself a break. If we do a very low key xmas, then it's okay. Sometimes we just need to let go of things and let ourself be less than perfect. :)

It gets easier as you get further out, at least it did for me.  I'm four years post op now and I can tolerate most everything.  At the holidays, I eat most of the things I like, just in moderation.  I can eat a few cookies.  I can't gorge myself like I used to, and occasionally I do miss that, but most of the time I'm glad I can't.  But I don't feel deprived because I am able to eat at least a little of the things I really like.

You could be writing about me. I feel the same way and lost my father on Christmas Day 22 years ago but it feels like just yesterday. I too am Italian and I am the one who cooks for my whole family on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I also have a family tradition of baking all the Italian cookies 12 different varieties. I have been so good since my surgery on 09/11/12 and haven't cheated a bit. Until I began baking the darn cookies. I got tempted and tried one. I wasn't sick...the sugar didn't bother me at all and it didn't even raise my bl sugar. I am trying very hard to stay away from the cookies and gave most of them all away except for enough for dessert tomorrow. I can not have them in my house. I did very well with dinner tonight and could not eat much so I had my protein first and then a tiny bite or two of a vegetable. It was more than enough and I was satisfied but my eye kept roving to that cookie platter piled with cookies. I will be glad when the Holiday is over and there are no more sweets in my house. I now know I am not strong enough to avoid one or two cookies. Not yet anyway. I knew it would be tough but had no idea that my traditional Xmas cookies had such a hold on me.

Merry Christmas.....hang in there.

Thank you all for your support.  I have to say last night went so much better then expected.  We had a big party and I saw people I haven't seen since before my surgery, so It was great hearing the "wow you look amazing" made me smile..lol  And the thing I noticed the most, I didn't eat at all last night.  I had to much fun walking around talking to everyone.  I came home and realized I didn't even miss it, and I was starving, so I had a protein shake and hit the bed.  I thank the lord everyday that we were able to afford to pay for this surgery for me.  Its saved my life.  As far as my father, as my sister said, it never gets easier, but at least we can talk about him and laugh and not cry all the time. 

Again, thank you all.  This website has saved me so many times.  I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!

Dina