OT: Why do I still let him get to me?? Sorry it's long....

 If you are uncomfortable with the situation, then decline.

I think you are far too involved with your ex and the woman he cheated on you with. 

I really wasn't asking for editorial comment on my involvement with them. He will always be the father of my children and getting along is important for them. It's not like we have daily or even weekly contact. For me, and my children, I will continue to do what I feel is right for everyone without compromising my self. I don't throw up my hands when things are tough, but don't go over what lines I do draw either.

Bless your heart. I would stay home and invite the children and grandchildren over the day before or the day after the holiday. You are already dealing with depression, medication and therapy. There is no need for you to put up with him and his bulls#@!. YOU have the power. Use it!!! Don't wait for daughter or anyone else to work it out for YOU!!!  Stay away from that house and don't look back.

I won't go there, absolutely not! Nor will I stay home, I will be part of Christmas festivities somewhere. My daughter is talking with her brother only because the plan was to be at her house. I am not going to get in the middle of the siblings on the plans.....she also wants to have everyone together too. With families and in-laws there are already too many places for them to be and I won't put the pressure on them to make yet another celebration and on top of that, 4 out of 5 of them have to work the day before and the day after. Weekend schedules are different too, some work Saturdays and some on Sundays. If we can't all be together, so be it......I will at least know that I tried.

I am sorry you are having to deal with this.  I wish I had words to help, but I can offer you a huge cyber hug!

I would go, look like a million bucks, I mean seriously totally over the top decked out and let the ******g b*tch wait on me all night.  Honey can you refill my wine, oh sweetie be a lamb and fetch me some cheese and crackers.  I would sit like a Princess and let the chips fall where they may.  I have an evil streak so I could do it, maybe you don't but I would suck it up and ruin this holiday for the ass you were married too.  He wouldn't repeat this mistake once I was done with him.

On that same note, my sons birthday is next week and my ex husband is getting divorced again (wife #2 finally couldn't stand his bull**** anymore) so I invited him to my sons birthday dinner.  He said to me oh it will be like a date, I said no sir, you don't have what it takes to date ME.  I told him I would give him some tips on all the things he does wrong in realtionships and why he keeps ******g them up if he likes.  I doubt he will take me up on it.  I am not doing this to torture him, although I know it will, since he never got over me leaving him, but I did it for my son.  If my ex is hurt in the crossfire oh ******g well, Karma works in mysterious ways sometimes.

Never let them see you sweat or cry!

What a **** sandwich. This proposed xmas situation sounds like it should be one of the circles of hell. I wouldn't do it. I understand that you're trying to keep everyone happy but there are times when you need to put your own wellbeing first and it sounds like this may be one of those times. You need to take care of YOU, and your kids can just get over it if they have a problem (it sounds like they're all teens and adults). I've never understood why some people insist on having everyone pretend that everyone is happy and has a good relationship when they don't, and when it's painful to do so. And usually the person that gets pressured to bend/compromise is the one that's already been treated poorly.

Awww MultiMom I am sorry that you have to deal with this during the holidays. I too was divorced and its never easy when a child/children are involved. I honor and respect you very much for putting your children first, you're a super mom. I have my ex come over on Christmas morning so that my daughter has both of us their while opening her gifts, we make it work for her so I know all too well how that goes.

As far as HER, what goes around will come back around to byte her in the hiney. Trust me on that one. Is she really that stupid to think it won't?

You are a beautiful person and look awesome. Don't let anyone make you feel uncomfortable or cry - hold your head up high and be strong - its obvious you are super strong, look at how much you have accomplished. Let your beauty and strength show through.