OT: Why do I still let him get to me?? Sorry it's long....

Why is your brother going to your ex's house?

Good for you for taking the high road and not putting your children in the middle. But now, I believe, they are adult enough to understand the pain their dear old dad has caused and is causing you and that from this moment on you choose not to play with him anymore.

Merry Christmas anyway!  

My brother isn't going there,brother in-law is (shortened it). I will play as long as I can. It is important for my children and grandchildren. If I can't make him understand the problem this year, athen it will be different in the future. I have worked to long and too hard to make it good (which all of my kids understand) to just throw up my hands now....

Merry Christmas to you, too.

I have the ex husband from hell, too.  In fact I cannot call him my ex husband.  Whenever I refer to him it is always as "my idiot ex husband" as opposed to my alcoholic ex husband.  But I digress.  I thought when our youngest turned 18 I was through with him forever.  I didn't take into account weddings, babies and all that.  Between him and my ex in  laws I have to see them much more then I ever expected.

I force myself to be civil although there was a terrible scene at the hospital after my first grand daughter was born.  It was very ugly and what was worse is my daughter lived with her grand parents at the time so it affected my ability to see the baby for a long time.  Eventually we forged a truce and we can be civil to each other, with a lot of effort.  I still resent the fact that my parents are gone and these idiots will live forever.  They are 88 and 96 and no where near close to dying.  I think they live just to make my life miserable.

I never want to put my kids into and position of choosing.   They choose to deal with the situation by having more then one Christmas or Thanksgiving but of course birthdays and the such are more difficult.  I just went to my grand daughters birthday party with them there.  Fortunately the idiot ex wasn't there.  When my daughter got married a few years ago she asked me to give her father a ride since he has really gone downhill over the years.  He is basically homeless but for his parents couch, married but she threw him out and he seems strung out on drugs or something.  He is basically incoherent and totally a different person then when I was married to him.  If you saw him you would assume he was a street person.  I half expect to see him at a freeway entrance with a sign but that would involve working and that isn't going to happen.

Today we had a terrible shooting at a mall nearby.  My idiot ex worked there for years when he worked and still hangs out there basically to get hand outs at the food court.  He has meals made of samples there most every day.  My daughter said he had just left 10 minutes before the shooting happened.  We were both silent and then I said "Am I evil for wishing he stayed a little longer?" and she admitted she was thinking the same thing.

Anyway, due to this idiot I lost the only home I probably will ever home.  He totally pissed away a completely paid for house to fund whatever habit he has so there is no love lost there.  But for my kids, and grandkids I will grit my teeth whenever I have to be in their vicinity and hope nature takes it course sooner then later.

Mine is refered to as asshat. The funniest ring tone I have is his and the kids even laugh. When he calls there is a booming voice says "Asshole calling, there is an asshole on the other end of the line!" LOL!

:(  I don't have any wisdom for this situation. I just hope however it works out, you are able to enjoy as much of the holiday season as you can!  

Thank you so much :)

I sure will try!!! I do get a pleasure out of the fact that she is short and "plump". I think he likes to have women that he feels like he is better that way (not that he is slim and trim).

No real words of wisdom for you, but I just wanted to say that I am so sorry you are going through this crap during the holidays.  How completely insensitive and wrong!

Yeah, HE is insensative and wrong! Thanks....