OT: This is going to be hard.

I know there is nothing that we can say to ease the pain of your loss.. Just know that you are loved and respected here. Big old cyber hug heading over to Baltimore!

((((((((Nik)))))))) I so get it.  My situation isn't exactly as your I lost my father a year ago and it's VERY touch.  I can't even think about if it was my mother (I'm a mama's baby).

You'll be in my thoughts throughout the day .  I hope you can find something good to celebrate you today.

Make the most of your special day.......it was special to your Mom.   Losing your Mom is tough, but know you will see her again someday.  Enjoy every day....isn't that what she would want ?   Happy Birthday, Nik !

Thanks everyone for your encouragement. Today has been ok so far. This morning was rough. But then the strangest thing comforted me. Going to get my driver's license renewed. Weird, huh? I was excited because for the first time I could list my REAL weight but that wasn't it. It was just a normal thing. Nothing about this birthday was feeling normal but that's about the most normal thing I could do today and it made me feel better.

Since then I met up with a good friend for coffee, which turned into lunch. I'm about to go get my babies and we'll spend the evening together. Thanks again everyone.

despite not wanting to hear it, I wish you a very happy birthday. The day you came into the world you made the world a better place, and this is something to celebrate. Your mother lives on in your heart, your spirit, and your memories and she will always be with you, just in a different form. Please take comfort knowing that she is proud of you and your accomplishments, and watches your success everyday.

Hope you feel better soon.

Happy Birthday....even though I know it's HARD...I just lost my dad Sept. 8th and my birthday was Oct. 30.  I felt the exact same way as you do.  Just know that you are not the only one is this awful lonely boat missing your parent on your birthday.  Nobody can say anything to make you feel bad or any less sad and angry.  Just know your not alone.  Sending prayers your way.

I'm glad you are spending some time with your girls. I think that is the healthiest thing you can do.  We only get one mom and it sucks to no longer have her but your girls have you and that is a blessing. hugs