OT: This is going to be hard.
I am sorry and I understand. I am sure your mother is watching over you and is proud of you. Let us hope that tomorrow in a soft way, you will realize the essence of a kiss from you mom for your birthday once again.
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Sorry for your loss and you have every right to just let out your REAL feelings about not having her there anymore. I've lost both my parents and all my aunts and uncles. It can be very lonely especially during the holidays . So take a moment to really FEEL that anger. Then go do exactly what your mom would have wanted you to do. You'll be able to enjoy yourself because you will feel her there with you. (in your heart) God Bless!!
Nik first off Happy Birthday!!! I am very thankful you were born and are here for us and I am so very sorry for the loss of your mother. I agree that going forward plan on doing something very special for yourself on your birthday that brings you those happy memories of your Mom. On your birthday you can celebrate both your life and her life and all the great times you had together while she was with you.