Depressed about puppy but a happy surprise at the Dr's office

Hugs!

OMG, Lora, I'm so sorry!!! No, don't give that voice any reason or credit. It's lying to you. You WILL be safe, you WILL get a puppy again, and you DESERVE all good things in your life. If it's hard to drown out the negative voice, always feel free to email or call me and I will talk enough to drown it out.... 

I am so sorry you are struggling right now.  It really sucks about the puppy situation.  That internal voice can be such a ***** sometimes.  It's so easy to tell it to STFU, but it rarely listens.  I know this may sound a bit silly - but when my internal voice is getting out of control, I try hard to make a habit of waking up every morning, looking in the mirror, and doing positive talk.  Telling myself that I am loved, I am worth it, etc, etc.  It helps to look at myself and compliment myself, etc.  We all tend to spend a lot of time talking about what we don't like, that when I focus on what I do, it can make a difference.

 

Get the knee replaced, you are worth it!

I imagine the waiting to see what develops from this new litter must seem interminable.  I am hoping for the best for you.

And, the worse part about that evil voice is that you often can't share its message with many people, as they just don't "get it."  So,  these self-deprecating thoughts just remain in your head, swirling around, intensifying.  Or maybe that's just me, lol. 

I am, btw, so envious of you vets who have found the way to maintain your weight.  I'm 15 months out and struggling to maintain a weight that is way too high as it is.  So definitely take joy in your 145lbs!

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this! I wish there were something I could say to make it better or could improve your situation. My wife has endured many situations similar to yours including WLS so I would  like to say I know what you are going through but I know that is not true. She did have a TKR in May after several years of delay because of dread of the surgery and her young age (~50) and now says it was the best decision of her life. After the first few months, when she said no one should go through THAT surgery, she now says she has almost total pain relief and can remember what it felt like to be happy. She says she has been happy and content for months now and regrets putting the surgery off. I tell you this to give you some hope and encouragement to take care of your knees and at least possibly solve this piece of the puzzle.

I'm sorry to ramble on and I'm so proud of you, your weight loss and your maintenance. Remember, we're all here for you.

Thanks for the encouraging words, especially about your wife's knee surgery. I am just so afraid that replacing the knee will be worse than what I have now and about how painful the first few weeks/months will be. How lot was it before she "turned the corner" on it?

I love your Pug picture, BTW! Our first dog when I was 7 was a Pug. He was such a loving, well behaved dog, but the shedding... OMG! I would have another one in a heartbeat if not for the hair. (At least the Chow hair, as profuse as it is, does not get stuck in the fabric of upholstery and clothing... I just sticks to the surface and can easily be brushed off.)

Lora

It was about 6 weeks to 2 months before she was out of the OMG what have I done to the this is the best thing I've ever done for myself in my life stage and since then she hasn't looked back. She is so much more active and happy and more to the point, pain free for the first time in years and years. I can't stress how much this has helped her. It is an extreme surgery but well worth it. She says when it comes time to do the other knee in a couple of years she will not hesitate now.

Thanks for the comments on the Pug, his name was Drew because we thought he looked like Drew Carey. We had him for 11 years before we lost him to diabetes, one of the worst loses of my life. He was a great friend. And you're right, the hair was awful! We will not have another but this one was amazing

Will continue to keep you in our prayers

Lora,

I am glad you didn't delete your post as we are all here to support you.  My daughters and I were so heart broken for you when we heard about the puppy.  We used to have a Chow/Samoyed mix named Mufasa.  He was a 85+ pounds and red.  Our dogs are so much part of our family. 

I am also sure so many of us know what that little voice is like that messes with our head on all sorts of issues. 

Hang in there we are all here to let you vent/share/***** and will listen.  One day soon you will have your sweet red puppy.

Great job on the 145 too! 

Sandra  ( by the way my name is BezoarGirl because my chow/shepherd rescues name is Bezoar) 

 

Congrats on the new old weight!!! lol Hopefully, you'll get a pup soon and when (he) licks your face for the first time...I hope that 'ole tape will at least be put on pause! (no pun intended) 

Yes, that voice in the head - it sucks!  I've tried to shut mine up for years.  I saw someone on TV (some celebrity, want to say Barbara Walters but can't remember at the moment - it was someone you'd never expect to have these problems) and she said what she did to stop her voice was to literally hold up her hand like a crossing guard and say "STOP!" out loud.  I've tried it a few times and it does work.  Try it - you never know what will work.  I can understand the depression worsening with all you've been thru with this puppy ordeal  - even "normal" people would be discouraged and sad.  For us that translates into depression.  And with depression comes that hateful little voice.  Such a miserable cycle.  Just know that you are deserving of all good things and that there are many people who care about you.  I know it's hard to believe right now but things will work out with the puppy....if not this litter, then the next one.  I firmly believe that things work out the way they are supposed to.