The difference between newbies and vetarans

Thank You!!

 Well I guess I just past into "Transitional" land......I am just over 1 year out now......Weight loss has definately sllllooooowwwwweeeedddd down and I am more about continuing the good habits and not falling into the bad habits.  There are absolutely foods that I don't allow myself.....and I don't see that changing - they make me feel bad physically and they are trigger foods for me.  I am more lax now however and I will have a bite of something as a treat once in a while.  I enjoy the journey of finding alternative foods that I feel good about eating - I love Bariatric Foodie, the world according to eggface and elana's pantry - I have found some AWESOME insight and recipes that I feel support my journey......I do see a HUGE difference in my attitude from day 1 to now.......but I mostly surrounded myself with Vets from the start which I think helped me to see things differently.  Sure I enjoyed all the newbie feelings and triumphs but I have been focusing (this entire year) on finding a lifestyle I felt I could maintain for life and that is because of all the terrific Vets and their insights!!!!  I feel so grateful to the vets.....their knowledge has truly helped me to be grounded and focused on the end game (maintenance and living life).

LOL! Internet = Serious Business!

This constant pointing out of newbies vs vets kind of upsets me. I have not had surgery yet. but it's stuff like this that makes me feel inferior or uneducated compared to the vets. its not fair to generalize groups of people or make this a class warfare scenario. this post wasn't bad, but I have seen some that are rude. NO ONE deserves a higher pedestal than another because WE ALL made the choice to get healthy.

 Panny...I respect what you're saying.

I point these things out not to separate newbies and vets. But we do see the world quite differently in some respects and sometimes frustrations boil up because we sometimes don't understand the other groups perspectives.

Yes we ALL chose to get healthy but... I am not in weight free fall anymore and yes sometimes it annoys me to hear about yours.

Yes we ALL chose to get healthy but...sometimes it will annoy you that I can tolerate things that you wish you could eat but can't.

In order for us to get along...and also for vets to remember where they came from AND for newbies to know what's ahead, I think it's important to share our perspectives.

But in the end take care of YOUR mental health. Don't read posts that upset you. That doesn't help you prepare for surgery. But insofar as understanding the commonalities and differences in how we think is important...I and others will continue to highlight them.

Seems like you're kind of saying newbies and vets are separate but equal? Maybe there should be completely separate forums for newbies and vets.

I guess I don't see how having different thought processes and perspectives should interfere with people coming together online to share their experiences.

it seems like some vets have a feeling of entitlement and superiority over others. I am not emotionally fragile or too sensitive to read these posts, which is the reason why I also have the ability to stand up say, "maybe this mindset is unfair". I have never looked at a post about a vet being able to eat something with resentment.

I personally believe that having the mindset that you can't be bothered with newbies and their excitement and fear going through this process is not only hypocritical, but also ignorant. all you vets have been there before, whether or not you posted openly about it. I think it is awesome that OH is available for people in all walks of life to share their feelings and thoughts, regardless of how open or guarded they are.

if it is such an inconvenience, maybe the vets should put in a request to the admins to create a specific forum just for them. just sayin....

I think you're reading way more into this post than what's there. 

My point was to understand each other.

I don't know your race but I'm black and raised in African-American culture. If you are not black, chances are we may see the world differently because we were not raised the same culturally. So if I point out how our differences influence how we view the world, is that separatist too? Should I go find a land full of black people and just hang with them?

No! (God I hope you said no too)

So now I am challenging you. Why is it so objectionable that folks understand how time and experience affects how we view our lives and this process? I didn't say one was better. I didn't say *I* was better. But I do have the benefit of interacting with hundreds of post-ops a day so I pick up an insight or two that I try to share when I have some intelligible thought.

I'd like for you to honestly answer...why does that offend you so much that I want us to understand and empathize with one another.

Because to me, it's almost akin to an older person understanding how a younger person sees the world. It's not to separate but to unite.

But only you can say why you find that concept offensive.

I apologize if I am not correctly expressing myself. I am not offended by your post or you. but over the last few months I have noticed multiple references to newbies and its not always cast in a positive light.

I agree it is amazing to get both perspectives. I love that. but my concern is that while most all newbies are grateful for the vets and their experience, some vets tend to view newbies as an irritant.

I was just trying to say that all vets have been newbies once upon a time. so although we can be bizarre or radical or overly excited, we do need the vets to have a bit more understanding. it's easy to overlook a young, hyper child as annoying. trust me, I have two of them! Lol.

I appreciate you feeling that our communication is imperative to success. and I hope you understand that I am not personality offended. I just know that there are some less kind opinions of newbies, and I'm not shy about bringing that issue out.

that being said, this is the internet and written word isn't always perceived correctly. so thank you for allowing me to clarify, and hopefully I did. If not, oh well. lol!

Well thank you for your balanced view.

Like I said, I totally get where you're coming from. 

That's why I tried to make it a point to say that vets are NOT always right. We justify. We have issues. We have things we do that I KNOW drive newer folks nuts. Especially me. I am offender #1. :)

And honestly that's part of why I posted this. I'm so tired of the "newbies are so irritating!" mind set I see sometimes. Most of the vets here are great with the patience aspect but on Facebook I see a lot of that. 

I personally know I have drank the Haterade (meaning jealousy at newbie euphoria) more times than I care to admit. And I think it's important for newer folks to realize if I or others don't answer a post it's more because I respect you too much to snark or say something off-color based on my irritation/jealousy/nostalgia/whatever-I-am-feeling-at-the-time. And I think its VERY important for vets to realize that we were once sitting precisely where you are now and that we really are all just trying to get healthy.

Conversely, I think newer folks could stand to realize that when we warn against things like the "gone forever..." posts and promote a balanced approach to things we are not trying to set you up for failure or **** on your rainbow. It's that we KNOW what can happen and don't want you to beat yourselves up the way we may have done.

So perspective. That's really all my post was about. Understanding two differing perspectives in hopes that we can communicate better.

Thanks for the debate. I needed that!

This response was beautifully stated. thank you for the debate as well! ((((((Hugs)))))))))