Does everyone fear regain??

I didn't fear it. and granted I'm not very far out. But since surgery I've met 3 people in my real day to day life not at support groups or doctor or what not who have all regained a great deal if not all of their weight back. Two of the three are back on insulin. I've asked them how it happened and they were very candid with me stating it was their own doing. All three drink with meals. two of the three I've seen eat sweets.and other things. So I know why they regained and I tell myself I won't allow myself to go there. I think the main difference between myself and them is that I've gone to therapy before and after surgery to work on my triggers. So I hope I don't regain more than the 10 pound bounce back but lately I've wondered if I am really any different or stronger than those I know. I guess time will tell and until then that is the next topic for the therapist's chair.

Lora,

Were you a heavy child?

I have never known thin. So, yes, I fear I will get there and then let it slip away because fat is what I know.

I hope the fear will keep me motivated.

I was pretty normal sized until puberty, but then I was 180 pounds (on a 5'3.5" frame) by the time I graduated from High School and it continued to creep up until my late 20s.  I became ill and lost about 80 pounds, but then -- following a major trauma shortly thereafter -- I gained about 100 pounds in 18 months... And it went up even more after another trauma a few years later.

So, this is the smallest I have been since probably my freshman year in High School (and I just turned fifty)... So I have not ever known more than a year of "normal" in my adolescent or adult life and spent the majority of those 35-40 years being not just obese, or even MO, but SMO.  I do see, though, how never having known thin would create a different sense of unreality and fear about being able to stay normal sized than for someone who was thin during some portion of their adolescent or adult life.

Lora

I fear of regain big time to the point where I'm close in developing a eating disorder.

Julie

I think you may be the only one .  I hear so many stories about others regaining that it is hard for me to not pay attention to statistics.  I'm a bit on the logical side.  It would be nice to hear real stats...like if only 5% regained, I wouldn't be so nervous but since I think it is much higher - or it seems much higher, I worry.  I think also because I have a history of no ability to keep weight off, I have to learn that I can keep the weight off. After all, I have a lot of years of history behind me that says it happen.

I'm hoping I can maintain.

I definitely worry about regain.  I lost from 278 to 132 with diet / exercise / prescription medications.... but over the next 5+ years regained to 234 when I went to my intro session.  I could make excuses, and I did have a couple babies & a major depression due to a child's illness, but in the end, I failed myself.  I don't trust me.  

I'm a bundle of contradictions because on one hand I don't fear regain because a) I've already regained most of my weight back after WLS and I lived to talk about it b) I learned from before that there are worse things then being fat and that is being so sick you can't function and c) because I think there is a part of me that hasn't let myself get attached to being thin since I have never managed to stay thin for any amount of time so I am always expecting the other shoe to drop.

That said, I do tend to freak out when I see the scale go up a few pounds even though intellectually I want to gain a few pounds, or if my clothes feel tight.  It strikes a fear in me that I can't explain since, like I said, I really would like to weigh a bit more and I have weighed 40 lbs more then I do now and felt good about myself.  And I also know that my life would not be one bit different if I weighed  more other then my clothing size.  My life is pretty much the same as it was 2 years ago as far as my boyfriend, living situation, friends, etc, except I feel a lot better physically but that isn't hard since I was so sick 2 years ago.  And my being sick wasn't because of my weight as much as it was because of the WLS I had in 2002 and not taking care of myself like I should of.

I am not one of those people whose life changed dramatically because of my weight loss.  It may be due to my age because the first time I lost a lot of weight was when I was 22 and everything in my life changed.  I got a lot of attention and gained a lot of confidence where now I really don't get any more attention then I used to.  Being an older women I just don't get noticed no matter what I weigh.  Or maybe it's me because I am happy with my boyfriend so I'm not looking for attention.  I am more confident just because I don't feel like I stick out any more and I am happy looking normal and not standing out.

I am also realizing that it would be hard for me to eat like I used to.  With my first WLS I never felt restriction and was soon eating as much as I used to.  Now whenever I try to eat too much I just can't.  It's too uncomfortable.  And if I eat things that aren't really good for me I feel sick so I tend to stick with things that don't affect me adversely.  I just don't like feeling sick any more where before it was how I always felt so I was used to it.

I have some days where I think I am just going to stop watching what I eat and try to eat like I used to and see what happens like I did after my first WLS where I made no changes at all.  I wonder if I would have enough restriction and negative reinforcement to keep from gaining a lot of weight.  But the truth is I like how I eat now.  It is routine and comfortable and I don't feel deprived at all.  I wouldn't want to go back to the way I ate before even if I could and not gain weight.  I just like feeling better and satisfied and not feeling stuffed and sick.

I think the last four sentences of what you wrote are the key.  I also don't feel deprived 95% of the time, and I like the way I eat... Which is why I am certain that I can continue to rack up years of successful maintenance (barring uncontrollable forces, of course).

Lora

i am still a newbie but I do fear regain for 2 reasons 1) the unknown of how hungry i will feel once I am 1 or 2 years post op and not knowing how much my pouch will stretch and 2) i have gained and lost weight so many times each time I lost weight id say im never going to let myself get that big again and then I would and even bigger than the time before that.

that being said i know i have a tool now that i never had before and i am changing my habits, the most important thing now is when i mess up i dont say screw it, i get right back on track the next meal or the next day. so yes I do fear regain but i know i have the best chance ive ever had at not regaining so long as i work at it.

Hunger at a couple of years out really isn't very dependent on how much your pouch expands, and neither is your weight.  The critical factor is how much food, and what kind f food, you put in your mouth.  Remember... You do not need to feel completely "full" to have eaten enough to have your hunger satisfied.

If you eat until completely full after 18-24 months, you may very well regain.  That is why retraining yourself in food choices and proper portions is so important that first year.

Lora