Not-so-random Poll: Is it ok to be fat?

Now looking at your post...and this is not me being snarky, I think you project your self-views on all overweight people. Because I see this:



And it does not read as gross at all! And I know that I never thought I was gross. I looked damn good even as a bigger woman up until the point when I stopped caring (I had something of an identity crisis after kid #2/breakup with fiancee). 

In the end I respect your opinion but disagree with it very strongly!

I can really identify with being okay with being big until I stopped caring. I'd been about 220 pounds my whole adult life but was put together, exercised, was active, confident and uber happy.

Then something happened, I can't even pinpoint what and I just didn't get a rat's @$$ about anything anymore. I hated myself, my life and everything about it. Then in turn, I got bigger and bigger and, seemingly, so did all my problems and the things I disliked about me/my life.

I did something about it and am happy for it. Did WLS cure my problems? HECK no! Did WLS help me feel better mentally and physically which in turn helped bolster my confidence in my ability to tackle some of the other things that were bringing me down? A resounding yes, at least from me.

MIchele

I see a large woman who has a very pretty face but is not brave enough for a bikini because of how it looks.  Maybe I am self-projecting but it still doesn't look good.  I don't want to "hide" in a swimsuit with a skirt.  But...as I said, JMO...  

Maybe I am also slighly more harsh because I've only been fat since 2010.  I was never overweight in my entire life until I my last pregnancy.

Yep, I think it's perception.

I have absolutely no desire to wear a bikini. Ever. I'm sort of conservative. I don't want anybody but my man seeing certain parts of me. So I'd wear a cute dress-like bathing suit (and I do! and I did even at my absolute rock bottom weight!).

We all do that to a certain extent (project our perceptions onto people and situations). I think so long as we recognize them as OUR perceptions and not THEIR reality (cuz I have seen enough size 24's in bikinis over the last few years to know that not all big women are afraid of them) we're all doing fine.

:)

I think it is very presumptuous to assume a woman wont wear a bikini because she is not happy with how it looks, overweight or not.

Not ALL women wear a swimsuit with a skirt to "hide" because of "how they look". I've never worn a bikini, even when I was at a normal weight with body measurments of 36-24-36. I personally love the 1940's-1950's swimsuits because they leave something to the imagination! Just because "I" had it didn't mean "I" wanted to flaunt it! JMHO

Sometimes women wear different styles than you would wear out of choice/prefference NOT because they are dissatisfied with their bodies!

 I too strongly disagree. That post made me sad.

I think the point is being a little bit missed here....at  least in my view. The issue at hand with this courageous woman was that she was verbally attacked for what the viewer saw as a flaw; her weight. It was not what the viewer thought of as being the ideal public figure. She was obviously hurt by the comments and chose to take a different approach and address it as an act of being bullied....(the comment made by her that October is National Bullying Awareness Month, which I have mixed feelings on that coincidence but that's for another forum I guess). It's her choice to be the person she wants to be and if it does not fit the "norm" then screw the letter writer. It's not hurting him or anyone else for that matter. Whether her weight makes her healthy or unhealthy what business is it of anyone else? Who makes the rules on what is a "perfect" or "ideal" person? I know I know society/media play a big role in deciding for us what they think is acceptable but it's up to the individual to make their own choices and if that choice is to be heavy then that is what should be accepted. Why is it wrong? Is it wrong to have many tattoos, multiple piercings, pink hair, dress in all black clothing or a mini skirt or torn jeans, etc???? That wouldn't be my personal choice but it's not wrong to do so and I would be the first to say "OK it's not for me but maybe it's for you." The thing that ****** me off more than the way I was treated when I was fat is actually the way I am treated since I'm smaller. People treat you so much differently. Maybe it's me, maybe I view the world with a different eye. Maybe I am guilty of reverse discrimination because my attitude now is screw you, you have no idea what my appearance used to be.....and I would like to think that I am the same person inside but I know I'm not.....none of us are.

Even with all my rambling aside the bottom line is that no one has a right to judge another or make comments about them or bully them. We don't need to judge whether someone is unhealthy or healthier with weight loss or staying heavy. We all had our own unique reasons for choosing WLS or not choosing weight loss at all. Embrace who you are and appreciate others.

Oh no I get the bigger picture! I just wanted to bring a new angle to it.

This all rolls in together. Bullies bully fat people because the prevailing thought is that it is NOT ok to be fat. Fat people even perpetuate this mentality.

So I was asking...if a person is happy with themselves, relatively healthy and is content with being fat, is that ok? The answer in society's eyes is no. Which is why this person could even bully her in the first place.

You can't hope to overcome such prejudice until you know where it comes from. That was the point in bringing this subject up. Not to dissuade from her words, which I think were courageous!

Society can kiss my fat a$$! I'll be fat, skinny, ugly whatever I want to be. I had RNY to help with diabetes, losing weight just comes along with it. I dont want to be a hypocrite so I will say yes I like losing weight. I move better and feel better and I am healthier. What if I dont get skinny like I see a lot of people do, but only lose to a certain weight and stop? It may mean I am still fat but I wont care as much about that as not being diabetic. We label each other every day and its sad, not to mention unfair especially if we label someone we dont even know. All I can say about that man is (yes I am labeling him, he deserves it) is he is an idiot. You know there are only a few "groups" of people it is PC to make fun of now. Overweight people is the most popular I see. Its the easiest because its not something we can hide. I wonder about the intelligence of a person who cant find better words to insult you with, lol. I have a lot more to say but I'll shut up now.

Completely OT:  Is that a Scottie puppy in your pic?!?  I have had Scotties in the house ever since I was in grade school!  (It takes a special kind of person to love Scotties...)

Lora