Not-so-random Poll: Is it ok to be fat?

I am not sure anyone is really deep down happy about being fat. Not a little overweight, but fat. I know many times I said I was, but only I knew how heartbreaking it was to have little kids say things in front of me like “ look mommy at the big fat man". Or going into a meeting with someone I did not know and have them start to shake hands with me with a smile and then see my size and see the look in their eyes and know what they were thinking.

You know the words that go together they always do: big, fat, lazy, stupid. No matter that I was a member of Mensa and had a high IQ, just because I was morbidly obese, I was stupid and lazy. I did not get some very high executive jobs just for that reason.

I am afraid it is going to be with us for a long time and has been with us for thousands of years in the past. I know of no quick fix. Rules and laws do not work, I have seen that myself. We have to change attitudes.

As a fellow Mensa member (!), what I hated most about being SMO was people that I did not know just assuming that I was unintelligent.  I actually had someone at work find out that I went to grad school at Vanderbilt and  say "I thought you had to be smart to go to Vanderbilt".  When I said "you do" in the iciest tone I could muster, his reply was that he had never known anyone before who was fat and smart.   

Lora

As yet another fellow Mensa member I too was insulted to the hilt by being thought of as stupid because of my weight. I never had someone as blatant at work as you did Lora but it was said in many different ways.

Yep.  The look on the face of one of my grad school professors when I walked into the room the first day of class was unmistakable... she didn't need to say a word.

Lora

I fully understand that it is NOT the question that you asked, but I feel the need to address it. Is is NOT OK to bully, at any age. I feel that is just what was being done in this case and I am so glad that this newscaster addressed it in such a public forum.  I also said the same thing to people that commented on the fat me, "do you think I don't own a mirror....thanks for pointing that out to me!"

I tried to be OK with my size and embrace it, but I couldn't. Is it OK to be fat? I can't answer that for anyone else. FOR ME, no, it wasn't OK.....thus I choose this avenue to fight the problem. I didn't have high BP, diabetes, high cholesterol or any of the other co-morbidiies YET, but some of them would have happened. Then, for my health, it would not be OK. It was never OK in societies eyes though.  

F-A-T....well,there are many sizes associated with fat! Fat to a thin person is a few pound more than they feel comfortable with. Fat to a heavy person is the difference between fitting into the booth at the local resturaunt.

I don't think anyone has a right to "judge" anyone for thier size, religion, color.

I felt my being fat caused me medical issues and physical restrictions that I could no longer ignore. So I made the life-changing decision to do the RNY.

This world has more obese people than it ever has. True in the above words of others...it cost more at the store to buy bigger clothes (why wouldn't it! it's more material). Yes, I hated that....yes, I hated having to go to specialty stores to buy clothes. Buy a bigger lawn chair that would hold my weight. But I did it and lived with the fact that the world doesn't cater to fat people.

Fat is different to everyone and each person has to make the choice of if they will live that way or not. Fat isn't always "just because she/he eats too much food" sometimes it's medical issues.

Like I said.....I don't judge people by their size and I feel sorry for those that do; cause that means that they are lacking something within themselves that makes them act out toward others with cruelty.

Bren

 I am going to play devils advocate here and say No.  Let me explain.  As long as a person is healthy , can live a normal life, and the weight does not effect others than it is not a problem.  For many, myself included, there is a point it starts to change.  If it was just me than it would be fine for me to be unhealthy.  I have a family with three young children and a husband.  I owe it to them to be the best that I can be.  When I weighed over 300 pounds all I felt like doing was sitting in front of the TV and sleeping.  I hardly had the energy to help them with their homework let alone go on a hike with them.  Then there are the health issues.  Obesity is a risk factor for many diseases.  It is not OK for me to live a lifestyle that puts my life in jeopardy when I have a family to raise.  

I think its okay to be fat IF you are otherwise reatlively healthy and happy and able to fulfill obligations to yourself, your family and whatever other community you belong to. When those things start to slide, it's time IMO to do something about it.

I was fine being fat unitl I got "super" fat.

So it's not OK to be unhealthy?  I currently have a normal BMI but I do have some health problems.  So am I not OK?

And it's not OK to be unhappy?  Oy!  I have been diagnosed with major depression.  I am often not happy, even though I am of a normal weight.  So that's not OK, either?

On October 3, 2012 at 8:08 AM Pacific Time, poet_kelly wrote: So it's not OK to be unhealthy?  I currently have a normal BMI but I do have some health problems.  So am I not OK?

And it's not OK to be unhappy?  Oy!  I have been diagnosed with major depression.  I am often not happy, even though I am of a normal weight.  So that's not OK, either?
 

I guess I should have said it is okay to be fat and/or unhealthy and included and/or unhappy if that is the state that somebody decides to stay and not try to change their situation. I know people make all sorts of health/social/economic decisions for different reasons but my reasoning is outlined below.

(Hypothetical "you/your" used here)

Do your heatlh problems interfere with your daily life to the point where you can't care for yourself, your family, your other obligations? If yes, then then are are you doing something to try to improve your health? If yes, then my opinion is that you're doing the best that you can. Example - I have chronic health conditions myself  (unrelated to my prior years of obesity) that, if left unmanaged, might intefere with my ability to function at a high level. I can't do anything to make them  go away completely but I can manage them. Even with my conditions, I consider and call (and FEEL) myself healthy. I just don't understand why somebody would have a health condition that debilitates them and do anothing to change them. (That mentality stems directly from first hand experience as my mother had an incurable, horribily debilitating disease that could have definitely been treated and prolonged her life/improved the quality of it had she tried - instead, she lived a very difficult several years and left her family with the last memories of her being unable to walk, talk, feed or care for herself.

Depression, along with other mental health illnesses, falls under my statement above. If a person is affected to the point where it impairs their functionand they do absolutely nothing to treat/rememdy the situation then I feel like they're doing a disservice to themselves, their family and their "community" (whatever type of community it may be).

So, I'll amend my statement to say it's perfectly okay to be fat/unhealthy/unhappy if that's what one chooses but would pose another question... why wouldn't you try to do something about it the life you're leading could be improved?