Random Poll o' the Week: Fact or perception?

To be completely honest at the start of the process when asked I would always reply I want to be healthy... I want to get to 150 pounds or a size 14/16 and I would so completely satisfied... I would ALWAYS answer that... and I truly felt that way... at that time... but then the more weight that came off the more I wanted it to be a little more... the smaller the clothes became I wanted the next size down... I literally at one point felt obsessed with my scale and kinda lost sight of my whole reason for the surgery... at one point it became about "looking" good and not always "feeling" good... Heck I didn't even really exercise!... I talked about wanting to be healthier but I once in a blue moon drug myself to the gym... not consistently though... I don't even think I realized that I was more focused on the "look" of it all than I was on the health benefits I once sought until just recently... I put on my size 4 jeans... not 14... 4's and I was pissed off because they felt tight... WHAT?? how the hell can I be pissed off in a size 4... I literally cried... and then I had a "come to Jesus" meeting with myself and realized how vain I had allowed myself to become... I declared to myself right then and there that I was going to change my attitude and focus on the real reason I made this life changing decision... and that is to be healthy... not just "look" it... now don't get me wrong I still wanna look cute but it's not the most important... I have joined the YMCA and been attending classes (zumba, yoga, pilates) and working out everyday recently... and as a bonus the scale dropped 2 lbs... but I don't even care... if it went up 2lbs  I would be just fine with that too because I am focusing on a healthy me now and thats who I want to be... whether I continue to weigh 132 and wear a size 4 or if I gain more weight and wear 6/8/10s whatever as long as I feel good and healthy then I will be accomplished and happy with me :)
sorry its so long but I haven't put this down in writing and it has helped me a lot to put it out there... Thanks :)
Debbie

So, when I had the surgery the number was what mattered the most to me. Now that I am almost 10 months out I feel much differently. I don't hate the way I look now, and of course would like to lose more but hitting 140lbs is less of my concern. I think that if I got to 160lbs I would be a happy camper. The numbers mattered so much more to me pre op than they do now. I feel like I have come a long way and am proud of what I have accomplished thus far and if I focus too much on that number it can be depressing.

Before surgery my main concern was stopping diabetes from killing me. Now I have set a goal weight which I dont really expect to reach, lol. But I am ok with that as long as the diabetes does not come back (I have been off my glucotrol since surgery day). I like others just want to feel good and be healthy. I could care less what others think of how I look.

I was a scale addict and it hindered my progress a lot. I'd punish myself and put myself down for days when the scale didn't move. Even though it could have been a million other things, I'd think "you deserve this for eating that bite of cake" or something to that effect.

It's been two months since I stepped on the scale. I know I weigh less because of how my clothing and rings fit. Even though I am tempted and curious, I don't get on that scale. Because I look nice and I'm not torturing myself over ounces. I'm not agonizing over how depressed I'm going to feel when I see a number that I don't like.

So I guess for me that I'm trying to see other numbers and measures of progress as more important than the one on the scale. My heart rate, for instance, returns to a normal resting pace much more quickly than it used to following exercise. My calves fit into my knee high boots again. I can run four miles in the morning before work now instead of three.

Beyond feeling healthy and fit, it is more important to me to LOOK like I've lost a certain amount of weight. I'm very satisfied with my progress to date (need to post pics). I facilitate learning and development programs for a living and it is important to me that I "look" the part. I no longer breathe heavily when I'm enthusiastically instructing a major concept, nor do I feel like my knees are going to give way by lunch. RNY has allowed me to project the image of the person I always knew I was on the inside, but I have a much higher level of confidence doing it! I could honestly care less about what the scale says as long as I'm shopping in the misses section and able to wear my high heals.

Image means a lot when you are in a profession or depend on a job. I can relate to your comments.

okay I'm going be onery and suggest c) and possibly d).

c)develop a normal relationship with food
d)all of the above

And I chose D. I do want to achieve a certain weight; however I don't know what that is. And I know it's STOOPID to say that, I just know I'm not done losing yet, so I want the number to be lower than 166.8.

I want to be trim and fit and healthy and active and all of the perks that says "LOOK she looks like she weighs such and such."

I work daily on achieving a "normal" relationship with food. That's critical for me in my long-term health, happiness and maintenance (whenever I get to where I want to maintain of course)

So yes, let me be contradictory and onery and say I want it ALL. I want to be a number (weight, fat percentage, BMR, etc); I want to look like I weigh less than what I do (and continue to look like I weigh less than what I do as I continue to lose weight) and I want to be healthy, fit, trim, active, energetic and happy AND I want and will have a normal relationship with food. Which ultimately means that I'll have my ups and downs and I'll always respect myself enough to deal with my issues head on. And never, ever bury my head into a world of oblivion again.

That's not TOO much to ask, right?

 No it isn't too much to ask.  I had a discussion with my nutritionist yesterday about a goal to have a normal eating pattern where I can eat and enjoy it, not necessairly eat all of everthing in sight.  I'm also a WIP.

 I heart you. :)

 B.  Definitely B!

Lora