OT - I need help, ideas!

I have no words of wisdom per say.  I too lost my mother but it was in 2001 on November 8th.  She always came to my house for all the major holidays and being in November of her passing, the day of Thanksgiving was extremely hard.  My daughters were very close to my Mother so we all had a hard time that year.  What we did do (was my daughters idea), was still cook her favorite veggie that non of us liked (turnips).  The smell lingered through the house all day so we felt she was there. We continue to do this still.  

Also, as for being the stoic one... I know that those that present themselves to be that way are often one of the most sensitive and have the biggest hearts..but they don't want anyone to see that side or to know that they are vulnerable.

It's okay to show it Nik...you've been there for so many people in so many different ways, let them be there for you.   My heart and prayers are with you and your family...God Bless!

I know exactly how you feel Nik-I lost my father on February 15th, his funeral service was held on March 2nd which would have been his 84th birthday which we treated as a celebration of lhis life.  My first father's day without him was horrible.  I cried for most of the morning and then had a semblance of a father's day with my husband (since he is the father of my daughter).  He understood because he lost his father in April of 2003 and went thru that.

You are celebrating her every day by making every effort to be healthy by going to exercise clases and if you want to get involved in running to go along with that, that is wonderful.  If there is a 5K or something in your area that benefits a cause do it in her honor as well.

I have to share this experience--I walked my first half marathon on September 1st.  Because my mother is immobile and has been hospitalized 5 times since my dad's passing with the worst being a heart attack on April 15th and the saga continues now with assisted living, once I got to mile 8 (I have walked 7.5 miles in a MS Walk and I surpassed that), the thought of becoming that way motored me thru.  By Mile 9, I looked up at the sky and asked my Dad to help me get thru the rest of it and the wind picked up and I did fini****dead last, it took me 4 hours but my friends were at the finish line waiting for me and I did it!!  I couldn't train that much because most of the summer in Wisconsin was 100 degrees plus and 80 degrees in the a.m. and humid but now that is fall, I am planning more walks and continuing Zumba and Body Pump. 

Your girls could join you on a 5K for charity or a Zumbathon (I thought I have seen that you are a Zumba enthusiast).  Exercising that way is helpful because it is planned too!

I feel your pain and you will get thru this. As some of the others said, you have to let yourself hurt and you can do that privately if that is what you want to do. 

Hang in there.  My mother in law put it best when she talks about losing my father in law-there won't be a day that goes by that she doesn't think about him and she misses him but she knows he would want her to keep going.