Air it Out Thread
Oh lawd have mercy.
I'm a disciplinarian too, and I couldn't stand to watch that crap.
But she needs to lay down the law with this brat, because if she won't, I will. And I'm willing to bet nobody will enjoy that.
I'm with ya there. Things happen, but her REACTION is what gets my goat. Laughing and tell him to go play? If it were my kid, I'd be so mortified and apologetic AND that kid would get a good spanking for just opening up the fridge and eating out of it. No child needs to be doing that PERIOD, and certainly not in the home of someone else! She didn't even take responsibility for him and offer to do something to even try to correct to the situation. Sorry, but I'm old school. Your make your damn kids behave themselves and if they do something, you're the parent, you fix it. Unless the kid is old enough to, then make them do it, but that's obviously not the case here. If the 3 year old can make cake pops, make him a silent business partner.
I'm a disciplinarian too, and I couldn't stand to watch that crap.
But she needs to lay down the law with this brat, because if she won't, I will. And I'm willing to bet nobody will enjoy that.
I'm with ya there. Things happen, but her REACTION is what gets my goat. Laughing and tell him to go play? If it were my kid, I'd be so mortified and apologetic AND that kid would get a good spanking for just opening up the fridge and eating out of it. No child needs to be doing that PERIOD, and certainly not in the home of someone else! She didn't even take responsibility for him and offer to do something to even try to correct to the situation. Sorry, but I'm old school. Your make your damn kids behave themselves and if they do something, you're the parent, you fix it. Unless the kid is old enough to, then make them do it, but that's obviously not the case here. If the 3 year old can make cake pops, make him a silent business partner.
I struggle sometimes with the fact that I think people see me working barefoot in my kitchen and forget that this is a job. It's my reputation and income at stake. It looks like a fun, quirky little hobby, but when that hobby brings in enough to pay rent, I can't afford to mess around, especially when I have a clock ticking and orders due out.
So I think on Monday I'm going to have to have a talk with her, and explain that yes, my child is home while I work as well, but there are hard and fast boundaries, and really enforce them. When she got here on Wednesday, I had candles burning on the living room mantle, and I kept telling her kid to stay out of the living room. Play with the ball in the rec room adjoining the kitchen so we could keep an eye on him. But he wouldn't listen, running back and forth through the living room with the ball, and she just ignored him. So yeah. I finally put up a baby gate, hoping that would be a clear enough hint, but no.
I'm no kid hater. I have two myself. I like kids. But I also expect a bit of respect when they're in my home.
So I think on Monday I'm going to have to have a talk with her, and explain that yes, my child is home while I work as well, but there are hard and fast boundaries, and really enforce them. When she got here on Wednesday, I had candles burning on the living room mantle, and I kept telling her kid to stay out of the living room. Play with the ball in the rec room adjoining the kitchen so we could keep an eye on him. But he wouldn't listen, running back and forth through the living room with the ball, and she just ignored him. So yeah. I finally put up a baby gate, hoping that would be a clear enough hint, but no.
I'm no kid hater. I have two myself. I like kids. But I also expect a bit of respect when they're in my home.
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Check out my video blog! www.youtube.com/user/HappilyShrinking/videos
Highest weight: 269. Surgery weight: 233. Goal weight: 144, and then we'll see..
Check out my video blog! www.youtube.com/user/HappilyShrinking/videos
Highest weight: 269. Surgery weight: 233. Goal weight: 144, and then we'll see..
I don't think it's great idea for her to be working with a 3 year old running around. It's a job for her, and watching a three year old is a job as well. The fact that she didn't feel totally mortified her son did that would have me seriously question her ability to do both at the same time. i would let her go.
hopefully you can find someone soon who can help you out!
hopefully you can find someone soon who can help you out!
Follow my vegan transition at www.bariatricvegan.com
HW:288 CW:146.4 GW: 140 RNY: 12/22/11
my husband is applying for a job in WI. It would be a major move for my family. i don't know what i want to do. i have a successful job right now and while i love change, this one has me scared.
my Circle is here, my friends are here, my daughter would need to go to a new school (she is starting second grade). we should have an answer in 2 weeks or so
my Circle is here, my friends are here, my daughter would need to go to a new school (she is starting second grade). we should have an answer in 2 weeks or so
Follow my vegan transition at www.bariatricvegan.com
HW:288 CW:146.4 GW: 140 RNY: 12/22/11
My daughter is going to be starting daycare at the end of September, and I did that so I could have two solid days every week with no children underfoot so I could really focus on work. I hired her because, with the newfound free time, I plan to promote my shop and expand a bit, hoping to bring in more work over the holidays. I may have to tell her that having her son with her isn't going to work out, which means she really can't work here anymore, because I don't know where she'd put him otherwise.
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Check out my video blog! www.youtube.com/user/HappilyShrinking/videos
Highest weight: 269. Surgery weight: 233. Goal weight: 144, and then we'll see..
Check out my video blog! www.youtube.com/user/HappilyShrinking/videos
Highest weight: 269. Surgery weight: 233. Goal weight: 144, and then we'll see..
rocky513
on 8/29/12 3:27 pm - WI
on 8/29/12 3:27 pm - WI
O.K. ...I have never participated on an "airing out" forum...but you asked for it.
My dad passed away on July 5th of this year. He was a life long auto mecahnic and has THOUSANDS of hand tools, air tools, car parts, old engines and motors, etc. We have been trying to sort through things in his garage to get ready for an auction in October. My husband and I went out there to start organizing. My worthless older sisiter was standing there watching us when I jokingly said, "Don't just stand there....move something"... to which she replied, "Well...I'm not helping YOU". She turned around and walked into the house...sat on her A$$ and watched TV. Meanwhile my 77 yr. old mother , my husband, and I worked our butts off for several hours in 90 degree heat.
When we gave up for the night, my mother went into the living room and asked my sister how she was doing. She said, "I'm just so tired I could go to bed right now". My husband and I were both standing at the sink washing our grease covered hands. We just turned and stared at each other in disbelief. He was just about to let her have it when I told him to just let it go. I just could not tolerate a family feud so soon after Dad died. UGHHHH! Someday...I will let her have it... with bothe barrels!
My dad passed away on July 5th of this year. He was a life long auto mecahnic and has THOUSANDS of hand tools, air tools, car parts, old engines and motors, etc. We have been trying to sort through things in his garage to get ready for an auction in October. My husband and I went out there to start organizing. My worthless older sisiter was standing there watching us when I jokingly said, "Don't just stand there....move something"... to which she replied, "Well...I'm not helping YOU". She turned around and walked into the house...sat on her A$$ and watched TV. Meanwhile my 77 yr. old mother , my husband, and I worked our butts off for several hours in 90 degree heat.
When we gave up for the night, my mother went into the living room and asked my sister how she was doing. She said, "I'm just so tired I could go to bed right now". My husband and I were both standing at the sink washing our grease covered hands. We just turned and stared at each other in disbelief. He was just about to let her have it when I told him to just let it go. I just could not tolerate a family feud so soon after Dad died. UGHHHH! Someday...I will let her have it... with bothe barrels!
HW 270 SW 236 GW 160 CW 145 (15 pounds below goal!)
VBG Aug. 7, 1986, Revised to RNY Nov. 18, 2010
Family: I love all of you dearly, but lets be honest here... To youngest daughter: Since you are soooo independent, please stop trying to borrow money from me to help pay your rent! You tell me that you can take care of yourself but always need cash! Few bucks here and there do add up. And while I'm on the subject of money...STOP trying to make me feel guilty over the fact that we are not rich! Don't hang around with rich kids if your always going to compare what they have versus what you have! I cannot afford to buy you a car! I cannot afford to hand you everything! I've done the best that I could. I told you I would not be able to afford college for you but that I would help you the first year. I did not expect to get stuck with the WHOLE bill and part of the second year too. Then because I can't foot the bill, you drop out and get an apartment. So now you have to pay back your student loans and rent. That's my fault too? Only independent when its convenient? I pay your cell phone bill and because you can't make loan payments, I put money in your account to help you. You decide to move with your boyfriend and we lend you the money for first, last, etc... Then you tell me that you have no food so I go and buy you groceries. Oh and you haven't even started paying back the money dad and I lent you for your apartment and now you wanna move back home...maybe? Then you let it slip how you haven't paid your student loan, that your deferring it? What? Your father is right...I'm a sucker and I've been way too easy on you for too long. Well guess what, it stops now! I'm withdrawing the amount I direct deposit into your account. Get off your ass and work two jobs like I did at your age! I've busted my ass and have been fortunate enough to never be without a job for more than two days and I've been working since I was 14! AND I payed ALL my bills! I never, not once asked anyone for money..especially my parents!!
To my oldest: I raised you the same way I've raised your sister...to be independent and not depend on any man, to be able to take care of yourself. Your a sweet girl...too sweet! Despite what I've taught you, you still think life is a fairytale to some degree. Yes he is a nice guy and I genuinely like him, but I can't stand seeing you not make decisions without him first or waiting on him and serving him. I know its in his culture, but give me a break! I've seen these things as you both lived with us for two years. I'm not like that with your father! We're together, but I'm still independent and can survive if we weren't. Hell he likes that I can be self sufficient... and speaking of your father...
So recently you tell me as I go to sit on the couch "wow you really have lost weight!" What was your first clue? 80 lbs lost doesn't show on me? My pants falling off or my shirts that look like night gowns not a clue? Your powers of observation are truly amazing!
Shall I also mention my job? Well what the hey? I love my job but I cannot stand the demon queen from hell that runs the company! This is suppose to be a human service field..you know where you show compassion, are encouraging and treat people like human beings? Well I guess it doesn't exist in your company...you micromanage more than anyone I have EVER seen! You scream at people, swear at people, and because we managers are salaried you think its just fine to tell us that we have to work 80 plus hours if you say so. Yes we are on-call 24/7, but when I put in for time off for lets say a vacation...why do I have to still be on-call? Why id it mandated that I have to give you a copy of my itinerary? Isn't it MY time off? If I call in sick, why are you constantly calling me with stupid questions? I'm sick dammit, leave me the eff alone! I truly believe that what goes around, comes around and I pray nearly every night that you will get yours! I wish you no ill will or ill health, but it HAS to come around at some point! Jobs are not easy to find today and I won't make this pay elsewhere so easily so I fell forced to stay...for now!
Okay everyone...thanks! That actually felt GOOD!
To my oldest: I raised you the same way I've raised your sister...to be independent and not depend on any man, to be able to take care of yourself. Your a sweet girl...too sweet! Despite what I've taught you, you still think life is a fairytale to some degree. Yes he is a nice guy and I genuinely like him, but I can't stand seeing you not make decisions without him first or waiting on him and serving him. I know its in his culture, but give me a break! I've seen these things as you both lived with us for two years. I'm not like that with your father! We're together, but I'm still independent and can survive if we weren't. Hell he likes that I can be self sufficient... and speaking of your father...
So recently you tell me as I go to sit on the couch "wow you really have lost weight!" What was your first clue? 80 lbs lost doesn't show on me? My pants falling off or my shirts that look like night gowns not a clue? Your powers of observation are truly amazing!
Shall I also mention my job? Well what the hey? I love my job but I cannot stand the demon queen from hell that runs the company! This is suppose to be a human service field..you know where you show compassion, are encouraging and treat people like human beings? Well I guess it doesn't exist in your company...you micromanage more than anyone I have EVER seen! You scream at people, swear at people, and because we managers are salaried you think its just fine to tell us that we have to work 80 plus hours if you say so. Yes we are on-call 24/7, but when I put in for time off for lets say a vacation...why do I have to still be on-call? Why id it mandated that I have to give you a copy of my itinerary? Isn't it MY time off? If I call in sick, why are you constantly calling me with stupid questions? I'm sick dammit, leave me the eff alone! I truly believe that what goes around, comes around and I pray nearly every night that you will get yours! I wish you no ill will or ill health, but it HAS to come around at some point! Jobs are not easy to find today and I won't make this pay elsewhere so easily so I fell forced to stay...for now!
Okay everyone...thanks! That actually felt GOOD!
~Marie
It's not who you are that holds you back...
It's who you THINK your NOT!
highest weight = 315 pre-op weight = 290 current weight = 145
When I moved to Virginia I didn't have a car because I was in college and poor. So the much hated car tax didn't effect me but I heard about it from my friends. Then I had a car and it was kinda crappy and the car tax was annoying but not breaking the bank. Then my car started having problems and I drew the line when it needed repairs worth more than it's KBB value and donated it to purple heart. I didn't get another one and took the bus around. Then 1.5 years later I got transferred to another site because of staffing shortages and it was an awesome opportunity.... but I couldn't take the bus anymore so I had to break down and get a car. So I bought one and I love it. So I just paid taxes on my hyundai in April when I bought it, why do I have a goddamned bill for more car taxes????? Not even 6 months since I paid the aforementioned taxes and I have a bill for more what circle of hell am I living in??
This is made much worse by the fact that I appear to be close to flat broke at the moment. Having a car payment, insurance and gas to pay for again is hurting much more than I thought it would, and I knew it was going to hurt. I had actually been on track paying off debts last year but then had some ugly vet bills and things went downhill from there since I had to put those on plastic, and I started dipping into my savings for other things, and UGH.
I'm planning on relocating to a lower COL area sometime next year. Right now I'm just trying to make it to that point. I've had a second job at other times before but will be having surgery in December or early next year so trying to grab a holiday job for some quick extra cash is not the most promising option.
I'm so frustrated with myself. I shouldn't be in this position. Blah.
This is made much worse by the fact that I appear to be close to flat broke at the moment. Having a car payment, insurance and gas to pay for again is hurting much more than I thought it would, and I knew it was going to hurt. I had actually been on track paying off debts last year but then had some ugly vet bills and things went downhill from there since I had to put those on plastic, and I started dipping into my savings for other things, and UGH.
I'm planning on relocating to a lower COL area sometime next year. Right now I'm just trying to make it to that point. I've had a second job at other times before but will be having surgery in December or early next year so trying to grab a holiday job for some quick extra cash is not the most promising option.
I'm so frustrated with myself. I shouldn't be in this position. Blah.
(deactivated member)
on 8/29/12 5:31 pm - WA
on 8/29/12 5:31 pm - WA
To my daughter in law,
You talk smack about me to your family and friends about how I favor my own daughters son and always treat him like he is my favorite grandchild. I go places with him, buy him things all the time and stick up for him. But you say I treat your two girls like they are the neighbors kids. Let me explain it to you.
I am not allowed to have your kids in my car because I am "over 50 and my reflexes are probably alot slower now". so I cannot take them anywhere,
I buy them cute clothes and those clothes are given away because you do not like the style or Jean shorts are not appropriate attire for a 4 year old.
I buy them toys and you take them away as punishment to them and force them as disapline to walk them out to the trash can and wave goodbye when the trash is picked up.
I wash thier faces when they come to my house and you tell me that if you wanted thier faces clean you would do it yourself.
I sew them quilts by hand and months later I find those same ones in the dogs kennel.
When I buy a birthday gift for one girl I am required by you to purchase the excact same thing for the other girl because you are too lazy to intervene and teach your children to share.
So while I could have bought one girl something cool I must now buy two cheap ass gifts because it is all I can afford to spend.
The only time I see these granddaughters is when you want a babysitter. Which is 3-4 days (from morning until just before my son comes home ) a week but still I must follow your rules and never never have too much fun at my house because it makes them unhappy at yours. (her words).
You bring them to my house and expect me to continue thier punishment that you have doled out. Last time it was that they were not allowed to go outside to play and them that evening you took them to a mutaul relatives to play because they "were at grandmas and cooped up all day". *****
You are an mentally and emotionally abusive mother and I hope CPS steps in on you. Do I treat my grandson better than your girls...HELL YES, and YOU are doing it. Lazy ass ***** I pray my son divorces you.
and now you know why my screen name is MUZZLED
You talk smack about me to your family and friends about how I favor my own daughters son and always treat him like he is my favorite grandchild. I go places with him, buy him things all the time and stick up for him. But you say I treat your two girls like they are the neighbors kids. Let me explain it to you.
I am not allowed to have your kids in my car because I am "over 50 and my reflexes are probably alot slower now". so I cannot take them anywhere,
I buy them cute clothes and those clothes are given away because you do not like the style or Jean shorts are not appropriate attire for a 4 year old.
I buy them toys and you take them away as punishment to them and force them as disapline to walk them out to the trash can and wave goodbye when the trash is picked up.
I wash thier faces when they come to my house and you tell me that if you wanted thier faces clean you would do it yourself.
I sew them quilts by hand and months later I find those same ones in the dogs kennel.
When I buy a birthday gift for one girl I am required by you to purchase the excact same thing for the other girl because you are too lazy to intervene and teach your children to share.
So while I could have bought one girl something cool I must now buy two cheap ass gifts because it is all I can afford to spend.
The only time I see these granddaughters is when you want a babysitter. Which is 3-4 days (from morning until just before my son comes home ) a week but still I must follow your rules and never never have too much fun at my house because it makes them unhappy at yours. (her words).
You bring them to my house and expect me to continue thier punishment that you have doled out. Last time it was that they were not allowed to go outside to play and them that evening you took them to a mutaul relatives to play because they "were at grandmas and cooped up all day". *****
You are an mentally and emotionally abusive mother and I hope CPS steps in on you. Do I treat my grandson better than your girls...HELL YES, and YOU are doing it. Lazy ass ***** I pray my son divorces you.
and now you know why my screen name is MUZZLED
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