5 years post-op today (warning: long!)
(Sorry... I cannot fix the font and spacing of this (it was copied from my iPad notes))
So... Exactly 5 years ago today, I had my (open) RNY. I weighed 324 pounds (down from a highest recorded weight of 332 pounds, which was a BMI of 57), and was wearing size 26 or 28 clothes. It took me 20 months to get to my goal weight. Today, I weigh 147.5 pounds, which is up from my lowest weight of 142 pounds (which I saw for a brief 3 weeks and then bounced 5 pounds) and only 2.5 pounds over my goal weight. Five years out... Maintaining 185 pounds of a 190 pound loss... Maintaining at less than 5 pounds over goal... Maintaining at 25% body fat ("optimum" for a woman of 50, which I turn tomorrow). Yay me! I am more proud of maintaining my loss than of losing so much in the first place. I had hoped to be back at my goal weight by today, and have been making a concerted effort towards that the past 3 weeks, but my body simply has other ideas. It is happy between 147 and 151 pounds even though I would really like to be 140 pounds. I officially surrender. As long as I stay under 150 pounds, I will be satisfied. I have a knee that needs replaced, so my exercise is limited and I have to be more diligent about my food intake to make up for that, so that makes me even prouder of my accomplishment.
I had several additional surgeries as a result of the RNY and losing the weight (gallbladder removed (lap), open incisional hernia repair with mesh, 3 rounds of plastic surgery (panni removal, arms and mons lifts, tummy tuck), and then another open surgery to resolve almost 18 months worth of intermittent severe mystery pain that ended up being caused by adhesions attaching my intestine to the mesh. My tummy tuck incision turned necrotic and it took 5 months of cleaning and packing the giant hole in my belly before it healed up. I also did not get anywhere near the pain relief that I expected to get in my knees after losing the weight. The arthritis damage was already done from too many years of way too much weight. So, it has not been an easy physical road post-op, but the RNY is still by far the best decision I ever made for myself.
I had almost no trouble eating anything even very early post-op (I had scrambled eggs before I even left the hospital), and it takes a lot of sugar to make me dump (more than i am usually willing to eat from a caloric standpoint) but I definitely DO dump on very high sugar items. I did not throw up a single time until I was 18 months out and ate some dry chicken too fast. So that aspect of my post-op experience helps balance out the surgeries mentioned above.
FWIW to anyone else, I now eat very "normally" (but DO make healthy choices) other than portion sizes, and here is what I have found that works for me. YMMV. I now eat mostly unprocessed foods and the only foods that are 100% off limits are the three foods that still make me sick. I use protein bars only for emergency food (especially at work); I have one protein supplement per day and most days that is in the form of protein powder in SF hot chocolate or an occasional Oh Yeah brand RTD, Cytosport protein water, or an Isopure Smoothie (NOT the Isopure waters which I think are absolutely disgusting). I still eat 6 or 7 times per day (three somewhat larger meals and 3-4 protein-based snacks (plus my special treat)).
I enjoy a small (approximately 100 calorie) treat almost every day, and I have occasional "free" days where I eat whatever I want (still in moderation, of course) without worrying about nutritional statistics. If I am really craving something that is less than healthy, I go ahead and eat it and then simply am more controlled about what I eat the rest of the day (whatever is left of the day, anyway). I do have a diet soda more days than not. It helps keep me from eating OTHER things. I eat nothing that doesn't taste GOOD. I will not eat something that I do not enjoy, or that is just "ok", just because it has protein or is low carb. I limit refined ("white") carbs and I avoid fried foods, but I eat full fat cheese and regular peanut butter because... well, reduced fat cheese isn't really cheese and reduced fat PB is higher in sugar (and isn't as creamy).
I count only protein (that is all I have ever counted) and I only track that in my head. I log food intake for 2 or 3 days about once a year just to be sure I am still on track for getting 45-50% of my calories from protein, 25% from fat, and the rest from carbs. I do not "diet" because no diet EVER works long term (we would not have needed surgery if there was even one that did), and you will NEVER read about me doing that damn 5 Day Pouch Test or anything other than being more diligent about the protein first post-op plan that I have been following for 5 years. I only weigh myself once a week under normal cir****tances. I have a self-imposed 5-lb weight creep limit, so if I am close to that 5 pounds, I weigh twice a week just to be sure it is no****er weight. If it isn't, I eliminate almost all but dairy carbs (I get a lot of my protein from dairy), and increase my protein and water. That usually gets those 4 or 5 pounds off in 2-3 weeks.
As a counselor, I knew that the psychological part of the journey was going to be important (and probably difficult), and I was prepared for much of it, so I think I struggled less with the mental aspects than some people. Some of it, however, I was NOT prepared for. I was not prepared for how long it would take my brain to stop seeing the 300+ pound body even once it was only 150 pounds. I was not prepared for how persistent my dissatisfaction with the body I ended up with would be. I still occasionally struggle with not b*eing smaller and still wanting to be a size 8 even though I knew going into this that I do NOT have a size 8 type body (I still have DDD-cup boobs and very muscular thighs) and that we cannot all have single-digit clothing sized bodies any more than we can all wear size 7 shoes. Still, there are times that it is hard for me to read about people who are now size 2, and so I still intentionally do not open posts that have anything to do with how much weight people have lost or what size jeans they just bought, etc.
I was not a food addict, but I was definitely an emotional eater before surgery (I gained 100 pounds in about 18 months following a very traumatic experience) and I have worked very hard (both on my own and in therapy) to find and utilize methods of self-soothing that do not involve food. There are times that I still do give in and eat something for comfort, but at east now when I do it, I am making a conscious CHOICE to do it, and -- for me, anyway... but it is not something I would recommend to clients -- that is very different than just mindlessly eating to numb emotional pain. I still, however, have absolutely NO willpower when it comes to cookies. I can exercise control and moderation with even my favorite Haagen Dazs full fat full sugar ice cream, and with chocolate (I currently have mini Almond Joy bars and small Reese's Cups in the pantry), but NOT with cookies. I simply cannot have them in the house and I really don't understand why. I also still sometimes struggle with the urge to graze, especially on the weekends. Most of the time I can distract myself, but not always. Even after 5 years, I am still working on extinguishing that very ingrained behavior. I still suffer with depression related to PTSD, but the weight-related depression is long gone.
My only regret in this whole thing is that the sleeve was not available 5 years ago (no surgeon here was doing it and it was not covered by my insurance anyway). With the severe arthritis in my knees, I really miss the NSAIDs, and I would have sacrificed the temporary malabsorption and faster rate of loss with the RNY to be able to retain the natural vitamin absorption and the ability to take NSAIDs with the sleeve. I am, however, still very happy with my RNY. My life is SO different now that I don't have to even THINK about my size and I don't get winded with minimal exertion or have trouble doing basic daily tasks like tying my shoes. I am a normal sized person after years of being SMO. That would never have been possible without this surgery.
Lora
p.s. tomorrow I will post my 5-year out pictures from dinner tonight (I wore the same new dress that I wore Sat night)
So... Exactly 5 years ago today, I had my (open) RNY. I weighed 324 pounds (down from a highest recorded weight of 332 pounds, which was a BMI of 57), and was wearing size 26 or 28 clothes. It took me 20 months to get to my goal weight. Today, I weigh 147.5 pounds, which is up from my lowest weight of 142 pounds (which I saw for a brief 3 weeks and then bounced 5 pounds) and only 2.5 pounds over my goal weight. Five years out... Maintaining 185 pounds of a 190 pound loss... Maintaining at less than 5 pounds over goal... Maintaining at 25% body fat ("optimum" for a woman of 50, which I turn tomorrow). Yay me! I am more proud of maintaining my loss than of losing so much in the first place. I had hoped to be back at my goal weight by today, and have been making a concerted effort towards that the past 3 weeks, but my body simply has other ideas. It is happy between 147 and 151 pounds even though I would really like to be 140 pounds. I officially surrender. As long as I stay under 150 pounds, I will be satisfied. I have a knee that needs replaced, so my exercise is limited and I have to be more diligent about my food intake to make up for that, so that makes me even prouder of my accomplishment.
I had several additional surgeries as a result of the RNY and losing the weight (gallbladder removed (lap), open incisional hernia repair with mesh, 3 rounds of plastic surgery (panni removal, arms and mons lifts, tummy tuck), and then another open surgery to resolve almost 18 months worth of intermittent severe mystery pain that ended up being caused by adhesions attaching my intestine to the mesh. My tummy tuck incision turned necrotic and it took 5 months of cleaning and packing the giant hole in my belly before it healed up. I also did not get anywhere near the pain relief that I expected to get in my knees after losing the weight. The arthritis damage was already done from too many years of way too much weight. So, it has not been an easy physical road post-op, but the RNY is still by far the best decision I ever made for myself.
I had almost no trouble eating anything even very early post-op (I had scrambled eggs before I even left the hospital), and it takes a lot of sugar to make me dump (more than i am usually willing to eat from a caloric standpoint) but I definitely DO dump on very high sugar items. I did not throw up a single time until I was 18 months out and ate some dry chicken too fast. So that aspect of my post-op experience helps balance out the surgeries mentioned above.
FWIW to anyone else, I now eat very "normally" (but DO make healthy choices) other than portion sizes, and here is what I have found that works for me. YMMV. I now eat mostly unprocessed foods and the only foods that are 100% off limits are the three foods that still make me sick. I use protein bars only for emergency food (especially at work); I have one protein supplement per day and most days that is in the form of protein powder in SF hot chocolate or an occasional Oh Yeah brand RTD, Cytosport protein water, or an Isopure Smoothie (NOT the Isopure waters which I think are absolutely disgusting). I still eat 6 or 7 times per day (three somewhat larger meals and 3-4 protein-based snacks (plus my special treat)).
I enjoy a small (approximately 100 calorie) treat almost every day, and I have occasional "free" days where I eat whatever I want (still in moderation, of course) without worrying about nutritional statistics. If I am really craving something that is less than healthy, I go ahead and eat it and then simply am more controlled about what I eat the rest of the day (whatever is left of the day, anyway). I do have a diet soda more days than not. It helps keep me from eating OTHER things. I eat nothing that doesn't taste GOOD. I will not eat something that I do not enjoy, or that is just "ok", just because it has protein or is low carb. I limit refined ("white") carbs and I avoid fried foods, but I eat full fat cheese and regular peanut butter because... well, reduced fat cheese isn't really cheese and reduced fat PB is higher in sugar (and isn't as creamy).
I count only protein (that is all I have ever counted) and I only track that in my head. I log food intake for 2 or 3 days about once a year just to be sure I am still on track for getting 45-50% of my calories from protein, 25% from fat, and the rest from carbs. I do not "diet" because no diet EVER works long term (we would not have needed surgery if there was even one that did), and you will NEVER read about me doing that damn 5 Day Pouch Test or anything other than being more diligent about the protein first post-op plan that I have been following for 5 years. I only weigh myself once a week under normal cir****tances. I have a self-imposed 5-lb weight creep limit, so if I am close to that 5 pounds, I weigh twice a week just to be sure it is no****er weight. If it isn't, I eliminate almost all but dairy carbs (I get a lot of my protein from dairy), and increase my protein and water. That usually gets those 4 or 5 pounds off in 2-3 weeks.
As a counselor, I knew that the psychological part of the journey was going to be important (and probably difficult), and I was prepared for much of it, so I think I struggled less with the mental aspects than some people. Some of it, however, I was NOT prepared for. I was not prepared for how long it would take my brain to stop seeing the 300+ pound body even once it was only 150 pounds. I was not prepared for how persistent my dissatisfaction with the body I ended up with would be. I still occasionally struggle with not b*eing smaller and still wanting to be a size 8 even though I knew going into this that I do NOT have a size 8 type body (I still have DDD-cup boobs and very muscular thighs) and that we cannot all have single-digit clothing sized bodies any more than we can all wear size 7 shoes. Still, there are times that it is hard for me to read about people who are now size 2, and so I still intentionally do not open posts that have anything to do with how much weight people have lost or what size jeans they just bought, etc.
I was not a food addict, but I was definitely an emotional eater before surgery (I gained 100 pounds in about 18 months following a very traumatic experience) and I have worked very hard (both on my own and in therapy) to find and utilize methods of self-soothing that do not involve food. There are times that I still do give in and eat something for comfort, but at east now when I do it, I am making a conscious CHOICE to do it, and -- for me, anyway... but it is not something I would recommend to clients -- that is very different than just mindlessly eating to numb emotional pain. I still, however, have absolutely NO willpower when it comes to cookies. I can exercise control and moderation with even my favorite Haagen Dazs full fat full sugar ice cream, and with chocolate (I currently have mini Almond Joy bars and small Reese's Cups in the pantry), but NOT with cookies. I simply cannot have them in the house and I really don't understand why. I also still sometimes struggle with the urge to graze, especially on the weekends. Most of the time I can distract myself, but not always. Even after 5 years, I am still working on extinguishing that very ingrained behavior. I still suffer with depression related to PTSD, but the weight-related depression is long gone.
My only regret in this whole thing is that the sleeve was not available 5 years ago (no surgeon here was doing it and it was not covered by my insurance anyway). With the severe arthritis in my knees, I really miss the NSAIDs, and I would have sacrificed the temporary malabsorption and faster rate of loss with the RNY to be able to retain the natural vitamin absorption and the ability to take NSAIDs with the sleeve. I am, however, still very happy with my RNY. My life is SO different now that I don't have to even THINK about my size and I don't get winded with minimal exertion or have trouble doing basic daily tasks like tying my shoes. I am a normal sized person after years of being SMO. That would never have been possible without this surgery.
Lora
p.s. tomorrow I will post my 5-year out pictures from dinner tonight (I wore the same new dress that I wore Sat night)
14 years out; 190 pounds lost, 165 pound loss maintained
You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.
OH2012
on 8/27/12 7:28 pm - OH
on 8/27/12 7:28 pm - OH
Congratulations: On your accomplishments.
Thank You: For sharing your experience.
Best Wishes: For continued success.
Thank You: For sharing your experience.
Best Wishes: For continued success.
Your journey is so encouraging to those of us much earlier out. I appreciate your comments and thoughts. Happy Surgiversary and Happy Birthday!!!
Sandy
HW 225, SW 219, GW 140, CW 124
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!
Thank you for this post. I'm scheduled for Sept 17th and I'm scared to death. Not of the surgery itself, but afterwards. I have researched this for many years but I don't think you're ever fully prepared. I thought I wanted the sleeve but I'm not sure I'd lose all the weight I want to lose. Let's face it, why would you go through all of this and only lose 50-60lbs (based on my weight). I'm scared of the malabsorption part and I'm scared that caloric wise it lessens or completely goes away. I do not want to go through surgery just to have to diet later on. That's what I've been doing my whole life!!! It's good to hear you say you don't "diet". I see so many people on here obsessed with calories and it freaks me out. I want to be as "normal" as possible. So again, thank you for sharing your journey. It helps us newbies out!!
Shannon
HW: 260 SW: 254 DOS:227 CW: 175 27lbs lost before surgery
Happy Birthday and happy 5 years out. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and for always being there for us on this forum. Can't wait to see your dress!!
My journey and crazy life: http://scholtzie.blogspot.com/ 
RNY: 2/7/12
I just wanted to say that you have given me a lot to think about. It is very inspiring to hear your story but not in a rose colored glasses kinda way. I have the same concern about my knees and no NSAIDs . I will probably need a knee replacement or two. Fortunately I have already had my gallbladder out so I won't need that surgery. I am diabetic so the sleeve is not the ideal choice for my the rny is so I will stick with that desicion. My date is sept 25 and I hope to be a normal sized person and deal with the emotional eating issue. Hope to have few complications and be able to eat in a new normal way. Hope you enjoy you birthday night out cant wait to see the pic . Thanks Rachael
Rachael
http://rabrijumo.blogspot.com/
http://rabrijumo.blogspot.com/
WOW! First of all congratulations on 5 years out and Happy Birthday!!! This is the type of stories I love to hear. It's the true grit behind the journey:-) it is the reality of life after our RNY. And it is not the sugar coated bowl of cherries you sometimes see:) it is what it is:-) You have brought the real essence of your journey to the table and the real emotions that saw you to your decision and what brought you through to your current state.
Thank you! Because for me I know as we all may know, this is a life changing decision through and through. And that it is ok to have the "normal" feel days through our journey. I commend you for your strength and for sharing your 5 year journey in summary with us in its honesty. Your a true inspiration to me! Enjoy your special day tomorrow!!!
Kristi
Thank you! Because for me I know as we all may know, this is a life changing decision through and through. And that it is ok to have the "normal" feel days through our journey. I commend you for your strength and for sharing your 5 year journey in summary with us in its honesty. Your a true inspiration to me! Enjoy your special day tomorrow!!!
Kristi
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Have you found it challenging to stick to your diet during the holidays?
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