It's horrible to be labeled a drug seeker
I am VERY sorry you were treated that way! It's no excuse to treat someone inhumanely no matter what their stripe is in life, but it's an especially shocking affront when you are educated and see yourself as quite responsible. Happened to me once with a PCP and I never went back to him again. And badmouthed his name all over town.
First ultra: Stone Mill 50 miler 11/15/14 13:44:38, First Full Marathon: Marine Corps 10/27/13 4:57:11, Half Marathon PR 2:04:43 at Shamrock VA Beach Half-Marathon, 12/2/12 First Half-Marathon 2:32:47, 5K PR Run Under the Lights 5K 27:23 on 11/23/13, 10K PR 52:53 Pike's Peek 10K 4/21/13, (1st timed run) Accumen 8K 51:09 10/14/12.
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A few years before my mom passed she had an episode of tachycardia (sp?). She'd had it before and knew she needed to go to the ER. So she did. When she was being seen she answered questions about meds, as you did, and said something about the way folks were treating her was "off." Then, to her surprise, they abruptly released her. They'd just barely listened to her heart with a stethoscope.
She followed up with her doctor *****quested the patient notes from the ER and it seemed they'd deemed her a "drug addict" who was likely "seeking medical treatment for the purposes of procuring prescription medication."
I was incensed. Not only that she was labeled that way but also because she came in with a friggin heart problem. And they let her go thinking she was something she was not. They didn't even TRY to treat her problem. She could have walked out, had a bigger heart failure and died (which is likely how she did finally die).
So all that is to say I recall that memory as I feel infuriated along with you, Lith. You are not an addict, but I think that treatment is a result of the misunderstanding of addiction as a disease and the need for treatment AND compassion.
So that is to say even if you WERE a drug seeker, you didn't deserve to be treated that way. Every human has dignity and that dignity should be respected.
Hugs.
She followed up with her doctor *****quested the patient notes from the ER and it seemed they'd deemed her a "drug addict" who was likely "seeking medical treatment for the purposes of procuring prescription medication."
I was incensed. Not only that she was labeled that way but also because she came in with a friggin heart problem. And they let her go thinking she was something she was not. They didn't even TRY to treat her problem. She could have walked out, had a bigger heart failure and died (which is likely how she did finally die).
So all that is to say I recall that memory as I feel infuriated along with you, Lith. You are not an addict, but I think that treatment is a result of the misunderstanding of addiction as a disease and the need for treatment AND compassion.
So that is to say even if you WERE a drug seeker, you didn't deserve to be treated that way. Every human has dignity and that dignity should be respected.
Hugs.
Thank you. I really appreciate it. I was flummoxed by the arch looks, and then the sadistic blood-letter. I remember thinking "Wow, that's one way to get rid of abdominal pain.... by quintupling it on another part of the body" and it's especially funny to me because my thought processes were focused on: "I hurt. I need to know why. I need it fixed, so it won't hurt."
retrospectively, when the nurse came in and said, "this is the good stuff" I realize now she was meaning to say, "You're successful in your bid for a 'hit'" (and i had to search my Law-and-Order television watching to even come up with any terminology to fit the meaning).
It's only happened one other time. And I didn't like it then either. It's so shaming too. Sort of like what we all felt when we saw medical practitioners as obese individuals and were treated like lesser humans because we were obese, and so any physical complaint wasn't taken seriously, or it was just rewards for our lack of moral fortitude.
I don't even know what they gave me to drink. They seemed to imply that it would be a near immediate bowel cleanse.... but I taught the next day andd it was only after I got home and pushed the issue with miralax and the prescribed meds that anything much happened. I do think they eventually cottoned on to the fact that I wasn't there for drugs. I just worried about an internal hernia or strangulated bowels. I know it can be deadly in our situation to ignore gut pain, especially doubled over for hours gut pain. (shame on me for letting it go on for hours!)
retrospectively, when the nurse came in and said, "this is the good stuff" I realize now she was meaning to say, "You're successful in your bid for a 'hit'" (and i had to search my Law-and-Order television watching to even come up with any terminology to fit the meaning).
It's only happened one other time. And I didn't like it then either. It's so shaming too. Sort of like what we all felt when we saw medical practitioners as obese individuals and were treated like lesser humans because we were obese, and so any physical complaint wasn't taken seriously, or it was just rewards for our lack of moral fortitude.
I don't even know what they gave me to drink. They seemed to imply that it would be a near immediate bowel cleanse.... but I taught the next day andd it was only after I got home and pushed the issue with miralax and the prescribed meds that anything much happened. I do think they eventually cottoned on to the fact that I wasn't there for drugs. I just worried about an internal hernia or strangulated bowels. I know it can be deadly in our situation to ignore gut pain, especially doubled over for hours gut pain. (shame on me for letting it go on for hours!)
~Lady Lithia~ 200 lbs lost!
March 9, 2011 - Coccygectomy!
I chased my dreams, and my dreams, they caught me!
I know how you feel. Twenty two years ago I had a still birth at 20 weeks. It was devastating. A year later I became pregnant again. Because of insurance I had to get a new OB/GYN. I thought she was wonderful and I felt comfortable confiding in her. I told her that the father of the baby was a cocaine addict and wouldn't be involved with the pregnancy or child. Not long after that I was there for a check up and she left the room and left my chart just sitting there, open. I couldn't help glancing at it and I saw the words cocaine on it so I read and it said something like she was sure the patient was using cocaine and that is what caused the still birth and to monitor closely. I was irate. When she came back in I went off on her. I demanded a drug test then and there. She just said that it would probably be clean now but that didn't mean I wasn't using and that it wasn't the cause of the pregnancy loss. I insisted she contact my previous OB and get my records but she refused. She made some comment about how drug addicts always lie and I wouldn't have told him, either.
I made a huge deal out of it. I had a terrible time even getting the insurance to allow me to change OBs. I had to stay with that practice with a different doctor. I insisted that they retract that from my records but they refused saying it was against the law. They said they would make some kind of notation about me denying using drugs. For the record I have been clean and sober going on 32 years so at that point it was over 10 years. The insurance company also assured me that no one would see those notes, which was a big lie.
When I had my last daughter I was able to go back to my original OB. Of course he saw the notes that no one was supposed to be able to see. He was irate, too. He knew I wasn't using and was upset that no one had contacted him because he had records including blood tests. To this day this is part of my medical records and I had to explain the notes to my PCP when I first saw her. I wish I could have sued that *****
Anyway, now that I have been going through my pain issues I have had the same fear, that they will think I am looking for drugs. I stopped using Oxycontin and asked for a small dose Vicodin which barely helps but it does bring my pain down a notch or two. I have been begging for non narcotic pain relief but there isn't much out there for RNY people. I will be having Botox injections next month and we were talking about lidocaine patches and a TENS unit. It bugs me that I have been taking pain meds since March, even if it's only been one or two a day. But pain is even worse. I have several friends who are on medical marijuana. You can't throw a cat around here without hitting a dozen people with cards. They have been encouraging me to get a card, which I am sure would be very easy but I am resisting. I want to explore every option before I consider it.
Not long ago I had a friend from AA who was dying from lung cancer. She had 20 years sobriety and was resistant to using marijuana but her doctor insisted. From what people have told me that is what made her last days bearable. As I sat at her memorial service I heard her sponsor say she dared anyone to tell her that Mary didn't die sober.
A few days later I ran into another friend from the program, an attorney woman I had known for years who had a reputation of being very tough and hard as nails. She also had many years of sobriety. I almost didn't recognize her, she looked so small and frail. I used to be so intimidated by her. We got to talking and I told her about Mary and she asked how she died and I said "Cancer" and made a smoking motion. Roseann lifted the cap on her head and showed her bald head and told me she had been on chemo for the last year. We talked about how much the marijuana had helped Mary and she told me that it was what helped her the most. She had gotten down to 85 lbs and it helped her gain 20 lbs. She died a few weeks later.
I guess what I am trying to say is that no one walks in our shoes except us and we need to make the best decisions we can. For me I am not tough enough to live with chronic pain without some kind of relief. If someone wants to say I'm not sober because I take pain pills they can kiss my ass. Let them walk around with this pain for a week or two and see how tough they are. And I'm not a weenie. I've given birth to 5 babies, one with the epidural turned off. That was pain beyond human. You would think a little head and neck pain wouldn't bother me but it does. It keeps me from doing things or being with people because I can't think about anything but the pain. I'll do what I need to do so I can live my life as pain free as possible.
I made a huge deal out of it. I had a terrible time even getting the insurance to allow me to change OBs. I had to stay with that practice with a different doctor. I insisted that they retract that from my records but they refused saying it was against the law. They said they would make some kind of notation about me denying using drugs. For the record I have been clean and sober going on 32 years so at that point it was over 10 years. The insurance company also assured me that no one would see those notes, which was a big lie.
When I had my last daughter I was able to go back to my original OB. Of course he saw the notes that no one was supposed to be able to see. He was irate, too. He knew I wasn't using and was upset that no one had contacted him because he had records including blood tests. To this day this is part of my medical records and I had to explain the notes to my PCP when I first saw her. I wish I could have sued that *****
Anyway, now that I have been going through my pain issues I have had the same fear, that they will think I am looking for drugs. I stopped using Oxycontin and asked for a small dose Vicodin which barely helps but it does bring my pain down a notch or two. I have been begging for non narcotic pain relief but there isn't much out there for RNY people. I will be having Botox injections next month and we were talking about lidocaine patches and a TENS unit. It bugs me that I have been taking pain meds since March, even if it's only been one or two a day. But pain is even worse. I have several friends who are on medical marijuana. You can't throw a cat around here without hitting a dozen people with cards. They have been encouraging me to get a card, which I am sure would be very easy but I am resisting. I want to explore every option before I consider it.
Not long ago I had a friend from AA who was dying from lung cancer. She had 20 years sobriety and was resistant to using marijuana but her doctor insisted. From what people have told me that is what made her last days bearable. As I sat at her memorial service I heard her sponsor say she dared anyone to tell her that Mary didn't die sober.
A few days later I ran into another friend from the program, an attorney woman I had known for years who had a reputation of being very tough and hard as nails. She also had many years of sobriety. I almost didn't recognize her, she looked so small and frail. I used to be so intimidated by her. We got to talking and I told her about Mary and she asked how she died and I said "Cancer" and made a smoking motion. Roseann lifted the cap on her head and showed her bald head and told me she had been on chemo for the last year. We talked about how much the marijuana had helped Mary and she told me that it was what helped her the most. She had gotten down to 85 lbs and it helped her gain 20 lbs. She died a few weeks later.
I guess what I am trying to say is that no one walks in our shoes except us and we need to make the best decisions we can. For me I am not tough enough to live with chronic pain without some kind of relief. If someone wants to say I'm not sober because I take pain pills they can kiss my ass. Let them walk around with this pain for a week or two and see how tough they are. And I'm not a weenie. I've given birth to 5 babies, one with the epidural turned off. That was pain beyond human. You would think a little head and neck pain wouldn't bother me but it does. It keeps me from doing things or being with people because I can't think about anything but the pain. I'll do what I need to do so I can live my life as pain free as possible.
WLS 10/28/2002 Revision 7/23/2010
High Weight (2002) 240 Revision Weight (2010) 220 Current Weight 115.
Thank you so much for sharing. It's funny to me the only drug test I've ever taken (except possibly one the other day aat the ER, they didn't tell me if it was a drug test)... .I had to be positive for the drugs, or I'd fail the test. (which is really funny to me, I don't know why).
Mum was addicted to cigarettes her whole life. My sister has had all kinds of issues of addiction, cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs hard and not so hard. Her first boyfriend of all decided he wanted to know what it was like to kill someone and picked her. Luckily for her, the strap he wrapped around her throat broke, and when he joked about it, she joked back. (afraid he'd flip out and kill her)... the next day another girl went missing, and she knew that the girl had gone down to the creek to smoke a joint with him. In fear, she called the police, who picked her up, took pictures of the black bruise all the way around her neck, and with her information, they found the other girls' remains. (identified by her jewelry, she was otherwise unrecognizable). His brother came into our house after that, and threatened us both at gunpoint that we were dead if sis testified. (she did, we didn't get dead). From an early age I've been resistant to even the IDEA of being addicted. All it took was a challenge of addiction to get me to back off anything that I might be accused of wanting that way.
Medical MJ is now legal here too. I meet the criteria about 4 different ways, but I have held back from going "there". Though in truth the neuralgia is one of the ailments (aside from cancer) that the studies say are helped the most from the Medical MJ. At some point, the balance of help and harm from the pain meds might be upset, and I might have to move away from the meds, and try alternatives.
I like what you say about how others who do not walk in our shoes can possibly understand the pain or how bad it is. For me the worst is incessant five-alarm-headaches. It's HARD to teach 40 teenagers who are mouthing off to you, without getting angry when you have a horrible headacche on top of everything else.
Mum was addicted to cigarettes her whole life. My sister has had all kinds of issues of addiction, cigarettes, alcohol, and drugs hard and not so hard. Her first boyfriend of all decided he wanted to know what it was like to kill someone and picked her. Luckily for her, the strap he wrapped around her throat broke, and when he joked about it, she joked back. (afraid he'd flip out and kill her)... the next day another girl went missing, and she knew that the girl had gone down to the creek to smoke a joint with him. In fear, she called the police, who picked her up, took pictures of the black bruise all the way around her neck, and with her information, they found the other girls' remains. (identified by her jewelry, she was otherwise unrecognizable). His brother came into our house after that, and threatened us both at gunpoint that we were dead if sis testified. (she did, we didn't get dead). From an early age I've been resistant to even the IDEA of being addicted. All it took was a challenge of addiction to get me to back off anything that I might be accused of wanting that way.
Medical MJ is now legal here too. I meet the criteria about 4 different ways, but I have held back from going "there". Though in truth the neuralgia is one of the ailments (aside from cancer) that the studies say are helped the most from the Medical MJ. At some point, the balance of help and harm from the pain meds might be upset, and I might have to move away from the meds, and try alternatives.
I like what you say about how others who do not walk in our shoes can possibly understand the pain or how bad it is. For me the worst is incessant five-alarm-headaches. It's HARD to teach 40 teenagers who are mouthing off to you, without getting angry when you have a horrible headacche on top of everything else.
~Lady Lithia~ 200 lbs lost!
March 9, 2011 - Coccygectomy!
I chased my dreams, and my dreams, they caught me!
ugh. I've so been there. I have both migraines and ovarian cysts and spend way too much time in the ER.
The migraines had gotten so badly this year that I was in the ER nearly on a monthly basis, and more than once I had to make a double trip, two trips within 24 hours.
I KNOW what works for me to get rid of migraines - and it's not for the faint of heart. I get a full dose of deludad (they like to half that!), tramadol, steroids, fluids, benedryl, and zofrain. Most of the doctors look at me like I'm insane. But I tell them, it's the only thing that works (and often it takes multiple IV's). And I refuse to leave before my pain level is down, because I know my migraine will come back when the pain meds wear off and I will end up back in the ER.
I would have to say that many doctors are good about it and really do want to help, but some just look at me like I'm crazy (and I'm a baby-faced blonde haired girl who looks a lot younger than my nearly 32).
My PCP is relatively good about it, but I also like to have percoset on hand at all times. Because of all my various pains - aspirin or tylenol doesn't work for me anymore - and if I take it I have to take so much it's dangerous. I'm a bit nervous, as I only have 3 percosets left from my Rx of 30 (but I have had this Rx for nearly 2 months!)
The migraines had gotten so badly this year that I was in the ER nearly on a monthly basis, and more than once I had to make a double trip, two trips within 24 hours.
I KNOW what works for me to get rid of migraines - and it's not for the faint of heart. I get a full dose of deludad (they like to half that!), tramadol, steroids, fluids, benedryl, and zofrain. Most of the doctors look at me like I'm insane. But I tell them, it's the only thing that works (and often it takes multiple IV's). And I refuse to leave before my pain level is down, because I know my migraine will come back when the pain meds wear off and I will end up back in the ER.
I would have to say that many doctors are good about it and really do want to help, but some just look at me like I'm crazy (and I'm a baby-faced blonde haired girl who looks a lot younger than my nearly 32).
My PCP is relatively good about it, but I also like to have percoset on hand at all times. Because of all my various pains - aspirin or tylenol doesn't work for me anymore - and if I take it I have to take so much it's dangerous. I'm a bit nervous, as I only have 3 percosets left from my Rx of 30 (but I have had this Rx for nearly 2 months!)
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